Nurse awaiting Dx

[Flackle]

Hi all, this is the first post I have ever done but thought talking to friends and loved ones just isn't helping and I am about to go crazy...do you ever find that sometimes knowing what we know about the medical field is like trying to tell yourself there is a Santa when you know there isn't?

I am in Nova Scotia, Canada and have been Nursing for 13 years mostly in Geriatrics and Clinics.

I was having some back pain and leg numbness about 4 weeks ago that put me off work due to work related injury...back pain was getting much pain however numbness and tingling was spreading to arm, hand, both legs and now neck and face.

Severe loss of strength and sensation in rt leg and new onset of upper body sx has given my family Dr a strong prognosis of MS and has referred me to Neuro. That was last Thursday, had lumbar MRI yesterday to rule out work injury. Neuro called today and wants to see me tomorrow...and any of you that understand Canadian wait times know that is outrageous! I should be waiting at least 2-3 months...so I try to tell myself that Santa is real and that this could be many things with an ongoing gut feeling that I am heading down a long road with frustrating findings and the unknown!

I have an amazing Fiance and two best friends that you can't even dream of...a 15 year old son who is an honor student that makes parenting a breeze...but they can't help me...they actually (without realizing it of course) are making it worse with comments like you'll be fine it's probably just a pinched nerve or MS isn't that bad maybe yours won't cause any symptoms....I want to scream at them!!!

I know what MS does...I've been treating all types, ages and degrees for 13 years...I know exactly what I may be in for and it scares the life out of me!!! They keep giving me the " my mother works with a lady who has had it for 4 years and she looks fine" speech and it makes me angry and feel stupid for being so scared of something I don't even know I have yet....so here I am...posting for the first time because the only people I can think of in the whole world that may understand what I am going through right now is other Nurses who have dressed, fed, changed, supported and loved their MS patients all while trying to tell themselves there is a Santa!

Thanks for reading and giving me an outlet without hurting the people I love who are trying so hard to help me. I would love anyones feedback and advice.

[Jules A]

Originally Posted by Flackle

I know what MS does...I've been treating all types, ages and degrees for 13 years...I know exactly what I may be in for and it scares the life out of me!!!

Sadly all I can offer is that I totally understand and have posted something very similar in the past. Sure people can do great for years but in my experience the end results are all very similar. While I continue to live my life to its fullest I know all too well what MS is capable of and it haunts me.