living alone

[socrmom]

My husband could not handle the ms. When I moved my son of 19 was living with me now at 25 he is gone.

I been upset recently because the ms is causing problems. I'm in a w/c and have been transferring to the bathroom, but now there is no strength. Scarred to do the cath. Can't afford to have someone here all day.

Has anyone been in this situation? Where do you go to get the answers?

Help

[JayEm]

I don't have any answers, but I wanted to say I'm really sorry you're in that situation.

[South7]

Have you looked to find out if there are any volunteer associations in your area that can offer help? Maybe through the state or the county? Try looking online or maybe calling up your local county office. Hope you can find something that works out for you. I think there are a lot of people around willing to help, but it can be hard to know where to look.

[socrmom]

I found a company "Creative Options" based in Ohio that is helping my friends with ms not only with personal care but house renovations also.

Hope they will be able to help me too.

[Wildchild]

Hi,

What you might try is ask your MS doc for a home health referral.

Someone comes out and sees what you qualify for. A health aid during the day, someone to help clean up etc, physical therapy, etc.
I don't believe you pay for any of this if you have medicare or some other insurance.

Worth a try....
Good Luck.

[palmtree]

I wish there was some law that protects women who get serious illnesses. The guys seem to flake when it comes to taking care of a sick spouse while a woman would always take care of her husband. [i know there are some wonderful men who would do it so if you are one of them, i hope you're not offended by my statement].

I am in the same situation. My MS is not as advanced as yours, but my husband couldn't handle a sick wife and my son is 26. They still live together in the house that my husband and I bought using the money I had saved from my work for a down payment. My husband is still stuck in all the reasons that we separated and can't move beyond it to see that things like sex [there, I said it] are not the most important things.

I'm living alone in a place where everyone else has there family with them. They think my house is haunted. I called Adult Protective Services and their only answer was to put me in a nursing home. Although, maybe you will get a better one.

Talk to your son. Tell him you hate to put a burden on him but you need help. Young people at 25 can do a lot. I'm sure he loves you very much and wouldn't want to lose you.

I will pray for you.

[NYJenn]

Definitely, get an aide to come in even for a few hours a day. You might get a volunteer through a church or temple. Also seek out agencies for paid help. You may be able to afford more than you think.

I got a referral from my town's social services dept.

Good luck!

[cosake]

If you have "211" in your area, that would be the place to start (call 211 on your phone, just as you would 411 or 911). They can help direct you to which service agencies would be able to help you out.

[palmtree]

Socmom, How are you doing? We all gave a bunch of advice. Did anything help? I called 211 and got the beurocratic run around, but it was good to know about that resource. Anyway, thinking of you.

[kellygrn]

I have had MS for 50+ years. The state of Texas provides me with aides 7 days a week, 5 hours a day. I could never afford it. Do you have Medicare? Some people I know are using that to help pay for services.

I only have use of one arm so I can not cath myself. I have a supra pubic catheter & wear a urine bag. I can manage that alone. A nurse comes to my home to change the cath every 3 weeks.

I also have a bedside commode placed where I can slide off the bed & on it at a moments notice.

Living alone as long as possible is a goal of mine. My docs & family know this & I do get help from both when I ask for it.

If you have any other questions about living alone, please ask me.

KK

[Babs2]

I'm living proof it can be done... and done well!

Are you on Medicare... what about SSD?

There is a national program in which each state has self jurisdiction. Mine is called "the waiver program" and is run by an agency called Area Agencies on Aging.
Depending on your disability/finances etc. will determine the amount of assistance you may receive.

You might want to try your state government to find Protection Advocacy Services. They are very good at advocating for you... making sure you receive all UR entitled to... legally.

Did someone else mentioned churches? Your church may often offer limited free services such as handyman, grass cutting, grocery shopping etc.

perhaps your local MS chapter may have resources or at least can lead you in the right direction.

Guardian come in all shapes and forms
don't give up on yourself, and neither will others


PEACE, Babs

[socrmom]

Hi everyone and thank you for your inputs.

I found an agency and was put on the list. Medicare would pay only if I needed a nurse.

Presently I have a lady come 7 days to get me out of bed and a lady come 2 days to put me in bed. I have a brother come 5 days put me in bed, but he is 65 not in good health. Now I'm paying $900 a month. Don't want to go to $1400 so I'm still checking around.

Most of the agencies want 4hr min a day.

[kebsa]

i live in australia so we have very different systems but i am on a government pension of $740 perfortnight and live alone and certainly cannot afford to pay for carers- i get one hour per day paid by the government -its not easy but that one hour perday is the difference between coping and not coping!
transfering in the bathroom would be the biggest issue for me to and like one of the other replies, i have a suprapubic catheter- if my mobility were not such an issue then intermettent cath would have been the recommendation but for me the SP is better and that has been pretty good, less fear of falling in rushed transfers, less laundry from accidents etc etc

I know that on odd occassions i have been able to get volunteer help from church groups to help with housework eg springclean or like last Feb when i had no choice but to move, it was volunteers who helped me pack etc. although our systems are different i would be very surprised if there were not community support groups. One that i have just discovered here is is the local city council can seek residents who live on the surrounding streets and match us up to take care of shopping and even going for coffee. Its hard to start asking for this kind of help but the volunteers would not volunteer if they did not want too, i have never been made to feel akward for the help i have recived

hope things improve for you an you can get some help