LAUGH IT OFF OR BE HONEST?

[jnstaylor98]

I'M A BAND DIRECTOR. I HAVE ONLY BEEN DIAGNOSED FOR TWO AND A HALF WEEKS. I HAVE BEGUN TREATMENT AND AM OPTIMISTIC.

MY STUDENTS, WHOM I DEARLY LOVE, ARE GUILTY OF BEING MUCH TO HONEST AND VOCAL ALL OF THE TIME. THEY POINT OUT AND LAUGH AND EVERY FUNNY THING I SAY. (ONE OF MY PROBLEMS IS COGNITIVE, WITH LANGUAGE. I WILL CALL STUDENTS BY THE WRONG NAME THAT I HAVE TAUGHT FOR 5 YEARS...SPOONERISMS...WRONG WORD USE, COMPLETE WORD SALAD FALLS OUT SOME DAYS... WE ALL LAUGH IT OFF.

LAST YEAR I BEGAN DROPPING THINGS DAILY AND STUMBLING OFF MY PODIUM WEEKLY. IT IS NOW A RUNNING GAG IN THE CLASS, AND THE JOKE IS THAT I AM LOSING THE BATTLE WITH GRAVITY.

THIS WEEKEND A STUDENT TOLD ME, "YOU'RE NOT HAVING AS MUCH TROUBLE WITH GRAVITY ANYMORE, BUT YOU DO WALK FUNNY."

MY QUESTION IS THIS, AT WHAT POINT DO WE STOP MAKING JOKES ABOUT THE QUIRKY BAND DIRECTOR AND GET HONEST ABOUT WHY THESE THINGS ARE HAPPENING. I FEAR MY KIDS WILL FEEL GUILT AND SHAME FOR EVERY JOKE THEY HAVE CRACKED ON ME OVER THE LAST TWO YEARS ONCE THEY REALIZE THAT I CAN'T HELP IT. AND YET, I'M WORRIED THAT IF I SAY NOTHING, I WILL BE HAVING A REALLY LOW DAY EMOTIONALLY AND WILL SNAP ON A CHILD AT THE WRONG TIME.

CAN ANY OF YOU THAT HAVE/HAVE NOT DISCLOSED TO STUDENTS GIVE ME ADVICE? THANKS
JOHN