feeling unloveable

[meeegun]

tonight my roommate and her girlfriend were giggling in the bathroom as they were getting ready for bed. they sounded so happy and are days away from moving into an awesome apartment together. i am so happy for them, but also so envious of what they have. i started thinking "will i ever have that now that i have MS?" i have a g/f and she has been so amazing throughout this whole diagnosis shocker (did NOT see MS coming!!). i love her, but i still feel empty and sad and envious. i know its wrong but i can't help it. growing old with someone is a lot more complicated for me than it was a month ago. is she really *that* committed? am i? i just feel sad tonight i guess. that's all.

[Camsue]

You've had some bad news for just a short time, you're allowed to feel down! and feel envious of others, all that stuff.

I can see in your post you were reminding yourself of the good things in your life (your amazing girlfriend), that's very helpful to bring you up from your down.

Keep that hope alive, fight this MonSter and have faith that a cure will be found. They have made such strides in the past 20 years...back then there wasn't any treatment besides steroids.

This is a great place to express yourself with a lot of us here that understand

[drmarc]

Partner and I have been together 27 years and he has had MS for 29. He started progressing 7 years ago, I was 39 and he 42. That is when our life changed...no more going out to clubs, events, etc. It is a different world than the one we lived.

Being a gay male couple with MS in the gay community is like oil and water....and only those who are gay, possibly male, and with MS will know what this means...

But, tonight we watched Thor in 3D on a nice big flat screen that we recently purchased. As long as we have each other, as long as I have him by my side, if only to just sit and enjoy a movie, life is good.

The little things have now become our world and our joy...