I Never Thought I Would Be In A Nursing Home at 55!

[DancingOnTheEdge13]

I will make this as short as I can. It's been a long time since I have posted. I was dx'd with RRMS back in 96. In 2011 I had to take disability retirement. In 2012, I lost my husband of 30 yrs to cancer and shortly after he passed away, I lost the ability to walk. My youngest moved off to college in 2013 and I spent a year living with my oldest daughter and her family.

For a year, I never left their house unless I had a dr appointment. I was there to babysit and pay rent. I couldn't cope and was miserable. So I put myself in a nursing home for rehab to be able to walk again and live on my own with help coming in. Even if it meant assisted living.

That was in Aug. 2014. A CNA dropped me while helping me to my wheel chair and broke the femur bone in my left leg. When I got out of the hospital, I went to another nursing home and am still there.

What PT I have gotten has been with my arms to help with upper body strength. PT stopped bc of Medicare. I needed my meds evaluated so they sent me to the hospital to get that done. The idea was, according to my soc. worker, if I stayed three midnights at the hospital Medicare would pick PT back up for me. When I got there I didn't know why the police had to escort me to my floor and they searched everything as well as locked up my phone with all my contacts. It was a psych ward. It turned into a week of hell! I have never been so scared of being lost in the system without anyone's knowledge of where I was. I made it back to the nursing home.

Thru all this I have had a sense of humor and was quick to tell people, life is good. We can choose to be miserable or choose to be happy. I meant that. I was on 60mg of cymbalta twice a day. When I left the hospital they were weaning me off the cymbalta and putting me on Wellbutrin. 30mg cymbalta and 100 mg wellbutrin. I can not convince myself that life is good and we choose to be happy. Its gone. I am 55yrs old and living in a nursing home with people who are mostly between 70 and 100 yrs old. No one my age. I have been in bed for 3 days now with no desire to be around people. I have been smoking a half a pack a day but the last three days have no desire to get up for a cigarette. (That is so not me) The dr said today that they are stopping the cymabalta completely and upping the Wellbutrin to 100 mg twice a day. I pray that helps. I hate feeling like this. And the thought of spending the rest of my life in a nursing home is horrible. This is a pretty good place for when I am older but not now!

Thank you for reading this vent. I just had to get it out somewhere.

[hunterd]

something that you may want to look into is occupational therapy. They will look to see how you can fulfill daily tasks, it is easy to overlook the things that they will point out, but they can make a huge difference. Give it a try.

[Tia1]

Sorry for the loss of your husband. I just prayed for you! I pray that your circumstances will improve and that your joy is restored.

[Sunshyne]

Hi there Dancing -
I read this post 3 times to make sure I was reading it correctly. You and I are the same age so our kids are off busy starting their lives and families and as a parent I understand all of that.
But my question to you is - who is advocating for you? Where is your social worker? - sounds as if missing in action

I wish you were in New Jersey because I think I'd have to take a ride and stand in the administrator's office until you are well served.

And what happened at the home where your leg was broken? Was it investigated? Because that has lawsuit written all over it - and I say that as past finance manager of a long term care facility.

Don't you give up - you are too young for that!!!

[Thinkimjob]

Good Lord, prayers aplenty to you, sounds like Hell.
I can relate. I'm 46, and I can't walk. Much. Social workers, social smerkers.
There is NOTHING they can do for me. I know how the cards will play for me. Nineteen years in, no miracle cure.

Might be something they can do for you.
The whole MS thing just sucks. You try and you try and you try.

Keep smiling, keep hobbling, keep trying to make it to the lavatory before your brain makes it to your bladder.

[DancingOnTheEdge13]

Thank you for your replies.

Hunterd...yes they give me OT. They have me lift 2 or 3lb weights and put pegs in holes. I also have speech therapy where she works with handling money, medications, and memory

Tia thank you for your prayers. I need prayer so very much.

Sunshyne, Yes the kids are grown and off living their lives. As far as someone advocating for me...there is my social worker who does absolutely nothing. Always in a rush and speaks in passing. My husbands sister comes to see me once a week. She handles my finances for me and makes calls on my behalf. But I think she is getting tired so I try not to lean too much on her. She is also my sounding board, so she hears everything. She does not know I have been so down that I have been in bed since Saturday. She will be here today.

When I was at the first nursing home the CNA was helping me from my bed to my wheelchair and dropped me down on the very of edge of the chair which caused me to fall to the floor with my legs underneath me and broke the femur. I went to the hospital by ambulance and when I was released, I went to another nursing home. I refused to go back to the first one. I went two week without a shower when my sil was out of town. We spent hours in wet diapers. It was horrible. And no, my leg was never reported. The CNA is still there. No one from there even checked up on me when I was in the hospital. The CNA, did not say oops, I am sorry or anything other then to l me to quit yelling and calm down. Yeah it was bad.

Now I feel lonely and alone for the most part. Like I am just existing like the older people here waiting for my turn to go to my heavenly home, which could take 20 or 30 years. This is it??? I am afraid so.

[jessiesmom]

Nursing Home Complaints

There is no doubt that you seem to have been dealt a rather bad hand.I often say a little black cloud seems to be hovering over my head, but I think you win. 😥
Your treatment at the nursing home where you were injured and their lack of follow up is appalling. You simply cannot sit idly by and let this go unreported. The Texas Dept. of Aging and Disability Services regulates nursing homes in the state. They have a complaint hotline that I suggest you call. I found the number on their website.

They deserve at the least to be investigated. They are required to report major injuries such as your broken femur and if they failed to do so, deserve substantial penalties. Perhaps having this incident in their file will prevent others from suffering the same fate. It might also give you some personal satisfaction. It sure would for me.

I am am sorry that your family and social worker are not active advocates for you. I wish I lived closer because there is nothing I like better than advocating for someone in a difficult situation. Perhaps the State of Texas has some type of Ombudsman program for those in your situation.

I wish you only the best of luck. You are not alone. People DO care.





**Edited by moderator in compliance with Guideline 3.

[jessiesmom]

Help in Texas

Your post has really upset me since we are only 3 years apart in age. I did a little more Internet sleuthing and found that the State of Texas does have an agency entitled Office of the Long-term Care Ombudsman. The long term care ombudsmen are advocates or residents' rights. They are independent of any long term care facility. I found their phone number on their website. Perhaps it would be of some use for you to contact them and have someone assigned to you.


**Edited by moderator in compliance with Guideline 3.

[Kimba22]

Your treatment at the nursing home where you were injured and their lack of follow up is appalling. You simply cannot sit idly by and let this go unreported. The Texas Dept. of Aging and Disability Services regulates nursing homes in the state. They have a complaint hotline that I suggest you call. I found the number on their website.

They deserve at the least to be investigated. They are required to report major injuries such as your broken femur and if they failed to do so, deserve substantial penalties. Perhaps having this incident in their file will prevent others from suffering the same fate. It might also give you some personal satisfaction. It sure would for me.

I agree! So sorry for all you've been through.

Here's the website referred to: http://www.dads.state.tx.us/services/crs/

[Kimba22]

Your post has really upset me since we are only 3 years apart in age. I did a little more Internet sleuthing and found that the State of Texas does have an agency entitled Office of the Long-term Care Ombudsman. The long term care ombudsmen are advocates or residents' rights. They are independent of any long term care facility. I found their phone number on their website. Perhaps it would be of some use for you to contact them and have someone assigned to you.


**Edited by moderator in compliance with Guideline 3.

Please call! Here's the link: http://www.dads.state.tx.us/sslcombudsman/

[REG53]

I am so sorry for what you have been thru and going thru. I don't have any advice but wanted to say I am thinking and praying for you to get some help and get out of the nursing home.

[Jules A]

No great advice, I just wanted to say how much I hate this miserable thief of a disease.

[Shoo]

Dancing I so sorry you are in a nursing home

I kinda know how you feel Every time I am in the hospital the hospital sends me to a nursing home for rehab I don't get much rehab and all the residents are in their 70's or older and how much physical therapy do they need so I got the same amount of pt as them

I was happy I was there for a couple of weeks, I know I couldn't handle it being there full time I so wish you could get out of there

I also wish somebody would build nursing homes for ms people

Shoo

[palmtree]

Long term care for people with MS! The federal government is not going to make it happen the states aren't going to make it happen. WE have to make it happen. We can form a non profit home. We can take care of each other.

We become trapped in bodies that can't move as fast, can't think as fast but our intellect is still there. Maybe we cannot talk. We can type. We can enjoy nature, reading, going out on the town and seeing cultural events.

I have a dream.

[palmtree]

I just want to add. Anyone considering going to a nursing home, please do everything in your power to prevent that from happening. It may seem like a nice place where everyone will I take care of you. But you can see from this experience that is not the case.

Even with the best of them you lose your freedom. They take all of your money and you no longer can manage it.

For anyone feeling like this is the only answer, get help.