I will make this as short as I can. It's been a long time since I have posted. I was dx'd with RRMS back in 96. In 2011 I had to take disability retirement. In 2012, I lost my husband of 30 yrs to cancer and shortly after he passed away, I lost the ability to walk. My youngest moved off to college in 2013 and I spent a year living with my oldest daughter and her family.
For a year, I never left their house unless I had a dr appointment. I was there to babysit and pay rent. I couldn't cope and was miserable. So I put myself in a nursing home for rehab to be able to walk again and live on my own with help coming in. Even if it meant assisted living.
That was in Aug. 2014. A CNA dropped me while helping me to my wheel chair and broke the femur bone in my left leg. When I got out of the hospital, I went to another nursing home and am still there.
What PT I have gotten has been with my arms to help with upper body strength. PT stopped bc of Medicare. I needed my meds evaluated so they sent me to the hospital to get that done. The idea was, according to my soc. worker, if I stayed three midnights at the hospital Medicare would pick PT back up for me. When I got there I didn't know why the police had to escort me to my floor and they searched everything as well as locked up my phone with all my contacts. It was a psych ward. It turned into a week of hell! I have never been so scared of being lost in the system without anyone's knowledge of where I was. I made it back to the nursing home.
Thru all this I have had a sense of humor and was quick to tell people, life is good. We can choose to be miserable or choose to be happy. I meant that. I was on 60mg of cymbalta twice a day. When I left the hospital they were weaning me off the cymbalta and putting me on Wellbutrin. 30mg cymbalta and 100 mg wellbutrin. I can not convince myself that life is good and we choose to be happy. Its gone. I am 55yrs old and living in a nursing home with people who are mostly between 70 and 100 yrs old. No one my age. I have been in bed for 3 days now with no desire to be around people. I have been smoking a half a pack a day but the last three days have no desire to get up for a cigarette. (That is so not me) The dr said today that they are stopping the cymabalta completely and upping the Wellbutrin to 100 mg twice a day. I pray that helps. I hate feeling like this. And the thought of spending the rest of my life in a nursing home is horrible. This is a pretty good place for when I am older but not now!
Thank you for reading this vent. I just had to get it out somewhere.
For a year, I never left their house unless I had a dr appointment. I was there to babysit and pay rent. I couldn't cope and was miserable. So I put myself in a nursing home for rehab to be able to walk again and live on my own with help coming in. Even if it meant assisted living.
That was in Aug. 2014. A CNA dropped me while helping me to my wheel chair and broke the femur bone in my left leg. When I got out of the hospital, I went to another nursing home and am still there.
What PT I have gotten has been with my arms to help with upper body strength. PT stopped bc of Medicare. I needed my meds evaluated so they sent me to the hospital to get that done. The idea was, according to my soc. worker, if I stayed three midnights at the hospital Medicare would pick PT back up for me. When I got there I didn't know why the police had to escort me to my floor and they searched everything as well as locked up my phone with all my contacts. It was a psych ward. It turned into a week of hell! I have never been so scared of being lost in the system without anyone's knowledge of where I was. I made it back to the nursing home.
Thru all this I have had a sense of humor and was quick to tell people, life is good. We can choose to be miserable or choose to be happy. I meant that. I was on 60mg of cymbalta twice a day. When I left the hospital they were weaning me off the cymbalta and putting me on Wellbutrin. 30mg cymbalta and 100 mg wellbutrin. I can not convince myself that life is good and we choose to be happy. Its gone. I am 55yrs old and living in a nursing home with people who are mostly between 70 and 100 yrs old. No one my age. I have been in bed for 3 days now with no desire to be around people. I have been smoking a half a pack a day but the last three days have no desire to get up for a cigarette. (That is so not me) The dr said today that they are stopping the cymabalta completely and upping the Wellbutrin to 100 mg twice a day. I pray that helps. I hate feeling like this. And the thought of spending the rest of my life in a nursing home is horrible. This is a pretty good place for when I am older but not now!
Thank you for reading this vent. I just had to get it out somewhere.
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