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I HATE THIS DISEASE!!!

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    I HATE THIS DISEASE!!!

    Though I have my daily problems I con function like a normal person.
    But today is different. The Spasticity, Muscle Spasms and the pain it creates is about to drive me out of my mind.

    Today is by far one of the worst days I have had in some time. I came to work, turned around and went back home for a few hours. When realized that no medication was helping and I could not get comfortable in any position I went back to work. I just as soon be with company than be at home by myself. I hate this disease and what it does to us.

    It does what it wants to when it wants to and there is nothing we can do about it!!
    Dx'd 4/1/11. First symptoms in 2001. Avonex 4/11, Copaxone 5/12, Tecfidera 4/13 Gilenya 4/14-10/14 Currently on no DMT's, Started Aubagio 9/21/15. Back on Avonex 10/15

    It's hard to beat a person that never gives up.
    Babe Ruth

    #2
    Originally posted by Waydwnsouth1 View Post
    Though I have my daily problems I con function like a normal person.
    But today is different. The Spasticity, Muscle Spasms and the pain it creates is about to drive me out of my mind.

    Today is by far one of the worst days I have had in some time. I came to work, turned around and went back home for a few hours. When realized that no medication was helping and I could not get comfortable in any position I went back to work. I just as soon be with company than be at home by myself. I hate this disease and what it does to us.

    It does what it wants to when it wants to and there is nothing we can do about it!!
    I do not know anyone that has this disease that it one time or another has not said the same thing. And as far as the "bad days" go, there is never a good time, nor a good place to have one. Your last line sums it up best, we are virtually powerless to do anything about it ourselves. All we can do is seek the treatment of doctors. I hope you get over this soon. Good luck!
    hunterd/HuntOP/Dave
    volunteer
    MS World
    hunterd@msworld.org
    PPMS DX 2001

    "ADAPT AND OVERCOME" - MY COUSIN

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      #3
      MS takes and takes and the only response I have is to accept my loses time after time. It's a wonder more don't commit suicide. I've decided that doctors don't know anything except to push more drugs at me.

      I HATE MS!
      Karen

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        #4
        Karenkay

        It's ironic you mention people committing suicide. Yesterday I made the commit to one of my coworkers that now I know why so many people with this dreaded disease commits suicide. I read somewhere that most MS related suicides happen within one year of DX.

        I knew a young man that was approaching his wedding day and started having some vision problems. He went to the eye doctor who referred him to a neurologist. The neurologist ordered a MRI after some clinical testing. After receiving the MRI results he called the young man back in and told him he suspected MS. Upon hearing the news he went in a state of depression and two weeks of his wedding he committed suicide. The note he left said he couldn't bear the thought of living his life with this disease. Mind you he wasn't even DX yet. Sad thing.
        Dx'd 4/1/11. First symptoms in 2001. Avonex 4/11, Copaxone 5/12, Tecfidera 4/13 Gilenya 4/14-10/14 Currently on no DMT's, Started Aubagio 9/21/15. Back on Avonex 10/15

        It's hard to beat a person that never gives up.
        Babe Ruth

        Comment


          #5
          I agree. Hope you feel better soon.
          God Bless Us All

          Comment


            #6
            Anyone contemplating suicide, even if only for an instant, or anytime in the future, should call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 Professionals that can help are available 24/7. PLEASE call! It's free and 100% confidential

            ​I just wanted to add this as I do in most instances that I see talk about suicide.
            hunterd/HuntOP/Dave
            volunteer
            MS World
            hunterd@msworld.org
            PPMS DX 2001

            "ADAPT AND OVERCOME" - MY COUSIN

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by Waydwnsouth1 View Post
              Mind you he wasn't even DX yet. Sad thing.
              Yeah, sad. I wonder if that guy was already dealing with depression. But after living with this **** for so long, it's understandable.
              Karen

              Comment


                #8
                I am fearful to reply, lest I get another "don't say that or oh dear, we'd miss you but you'll have to go" warning.

                Can't walk, can't work, can't drive, can't shop, can't get the mail out of the box. Basically I cry before I pluck up the courage and force myself to have a shower.

                Can make it to the facilities, usually, but not always. Oh and trip over the cat - no problem there.

                Can still find the stockpile.

                If I ring Lifeline or whatever, what is the poor sod who answers the phone going to offer?
                A cure, drugs that work, a vast quantity of Oxycodone?

                I do not want to die, and as Woody Allen said, I could never commit suicide, 'cos I'd have to do in my parents first. Could never do that.

                I want to be fixed. Ain't gonna happen, in my lifetime.

                So between the rock and the hard place.

                Plus side newbies, with the new drugs, you've probably got 20 good years.

                Well, re-reading, that was depressing. But the night is long.

                Comment


                  #9
                  thank you

                  I am not suicidal, but am also PISSED OFF that I have this disease. I thank you for posting this so at least we know we are not alone. I am surrounded by skippy happy positive people who say and think, "Well why have you not just......(Insert idea here)".

                  I am getting awful tired of smiling, and letting others think that I am the source of the problem because I just have not worked hard enough to find the solution to my problem.

                  Again, thank you for letting us join you in a rant.
                  karen
                  Last edited by Seasha; 01-09-2016, 12:03 PM.
                  You are in the driver's seat, but God is holding the map

                  Comment


                    #10
                    I am at work today also. About 2 hours ago I thought my jeans were making me itchy. Not itchy at all now. I have pins and needles, in my left leg all the way to my hip. I also have numb tingly feeling on my head which I keep scratching just because I can...I say that because I keep doing it and it keeps coming back. I feel like I have bugs.

                    I live in S. Central Wisconsin. At this moment it is 30ish, raining, sleeting, cooling off tonight and changing to snow. In the morning it will be more of this. By Sunday it is going to be negative -10.

                    MS, El Nino ... this tingly sensation driving me insane...must be gratitude. Your welcome; you may go now.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      All I can say is I HATE THIS DISEASE TOO!!!
                      DIAGNOSED=2012
                      ISSUES LONG BEFORE
                      REBIF 1 YEAR

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