Should I tell her?

[J-Bo]

I don’t know what to do. Recently, a coworker told me that her 14 year old son has contracted mono. I’m struggling with whether or not I should tell her about the theory (the Charcot Project) that there might be a connection between mono (Epstein-Barr) and MS. I know it’s just a theory and as such, far from proven. And there are a zillion theories out there—they can’t all be correct.

But here’s the thing: she also told me that he said he wanted one of those stand assist chairs for Christmas because “he thinks it would be really cool.” She seemed to find it amusing, and I think her take was that kids these days are so lazy that they even want a gadget for standing up. But I think it’s very odd for a boy that age to want something associated with old, disabled people who they usually would make fun of, don’t you?

She’s never mentioned that he has any disabilities, but still. I’ve gotten the impression he’s kind of “nerdy” and now I wonder if that might go along with being clumsy and poor at sports, maybe? They’re not always the same thing, but…maybe I’m just reading too much into this.

Usually my guiding principle with deciding to tell or not to tell people something that might upset them is whether or not their knowing would help them to so something about it. In this case, I’m thinking:

• She could have his vitamin D level checked and make sure that he gets out in the sunshine a lot. That seems more and more to be real science, right? Also, it's easy enough to do. So is supplementation.

• She could quit smoking. I don’t know if second-hand smoke increases MS risk, but again, science is telling us that there’s a good chance that actual smoking does. I’m honestly not looking for an excuse to beat up on a smoker—I used to smoke myself, and I never, ever judge others who do, and never once have a nagged anyone. I know how hard quitting is. But you can't even say that she mind wind up quitting for no good reason. It would be a good thing all on its own!

• She could just keep a close eye on it—if it turns out that he does have MS, earlier diagnosis could lead to earlier treatment.

I just hate to get her all worried for no reason, you know? I’m not a mother myself, but I do understand that special kind of worrying that moms do over their children. If you have an opinion on what I should do, please chime in and let me know what you think. Even if your opinion is that I should mind my own beeswax, that’s OK to say too. Thanks!

[Jules A]

So many people have had mono and never got MS. I wouldn't even think about mentioning this or your list of suggestions. Sorry but it sounds extremely intrusive.

I'm interested to see what others think.

[Jules A]

If it makes you feel any better for your friend's child although there are studies that indicate there is an increased risk in contacting MS after IM it isn't so simple and of course there is always conflicting research:

"In summary, despite an exhaustive search using multiple methodologies we have shown that EBV appears largely absent from multiple sclerosis brain. While our findings do not exclude the notion that EBV may contribute to multiple sclerosis via an indirect effect on immune function or through molecular mimicry between EBV and CNS antigens, our results lead us to conclude that EBV infection is unlikely to contribute directly to multiple sclerosis immunopathology in the vast majority of cases."

from:
http://brain.oxfordjournals.org/content/132/12/3318

[palmtree]

I would not tell her. The boy thinks those stand up machines are cool. That's all. I can understand how a 14 year old would think they are cool. They ARE cool.

The last thing she needs is to worry unnecessarily or make her son feel defective and different.

Let him enjoy his machine.

[J-Bo]

Oh, I don't think she was actually going to buy one for him. I still think it's really odd, but realize that it doesn't necessarily mean he has a neurological disease. He could just be a little strange.

Thanks guys for your opinions. I was leaning toward not saying, although the the suggestions would be the easiest, benign ones I could image. It wouldn't be like asking someone to give up gluten or something like that. But like I said, I'm inclined not to say anything just because of the worry it could cause. More harm than good, in other words.

[Nanobaby]

Re: smoking & MS

You may be interested in some of these publications:

Smoking is a risk factor for early conversion to clinically definite multiple sclerosis a 2008 cross-sectional study from Pauli and colleagues.

Stronger evidence comes from Cigarette Smoking and Incidence of Multiple Sclerosis
(Hernán et al., 2001) where the researchers examined NEW cases of Multiple Sclerosis in relation to smoking. They found that smoking behaviour was associated with increased risk of MS.

Mikaeloff and colleagues (2007) looked at Parental smoking at home and the risk of childhood-onset multiple sclerosis in children.

[dyin_myelin]

I think he wants the chair because he's so tired from fighting mono. It's probably easier for a little dude to ask for the chair as a joke rather than say he's fatigued all the time. Why not suggest to her and a group of other co-workers that they think about adding a vitamin D supplement to their/families' diets? This time of the year/far north it's a good idea.

[Thinkimjob]

No, is the short answer.
I think of all those times people offer me unsolicited well-meaning advice.
If she asks you a question, though, by all means answer. She has no doubt already had a look on Dr Google.

[Seasha]

Why not suggest to her and a group of other co-workers that they think about adding a vitamin D supplement to their/families' diets? This time of the year/far north it's a good idea.

Bingo! I think it''s great idea to start a conversation about the importance of Vit. D for everyone!! I would leave all else alone like others have said.

[annedocuk]

Absolutely no need. In all the years I worked as a GP I saw glandular fever (mono) about once a month. I have had very few patients with MS even though the few graduated to seeing me in the hope I had some miracle answer. Maybe 5 in my career length. Why worry mum for something so unlikely. GF can leave kids wiped out for months.