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No assisted livings will take me because I am not 55...

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    #31
    Lisa, I can appreciate the position you're in. I'm sure your attorney has told you that a report to social services is justification for a restraining order against your husband. The police can remove him from the house.

    But a restraining order is only a legal restraint -- it isn't a physical restraint -- and you'll have to be prepared for retaliation.

    Having a prenup already settles all of the financial questions about a divorce.

    So if you're physically in danger, why haven't you already left? How badly will he have to hurt you before you decide it's time to leave?

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      #32
      Lisa

      Going to piggy-back on what Dyin' said.

      I live in a 55+ gated community. I was 49 when I moved in and 52 now. Most of the communities have what they call a 80/20 rule. Meaning 80% of the population must be 55+.

      Although living in a Senior Citizen Community is sort of unthinkable to someone in their fourties...I am glad I did. And I am not alone.

      My Community is much better equipped to handle disabilities. We have every store imaginable, but if you cant make it to the store, order your food online and it gets delivered to you house for a nominal fee...drugs too. Healthcare is available as well as agencies to assist you in home if need be.

      I would call some of the larger ones in particular Sun City Carolina Lakes near Charlotte.
      Katie
      "Yep, I have MS, and it does have Me!"
      "My MS is a Journey for One."
      Dx: 1999 DMDS: Avonex, Copaxone, Rebif, currently on Tysabri

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        #33
        Palitive Care

        Originally posted by 22cyclist View Post
        My husband has told me I need to go ASAP, he just can't tolerate me anymore. He would like for me to go into an assisted living for a while, but I do not meet the criteria for one. He is selling our rental home so he can give me part of the money to buy a house, so I now have to wait until that house sells. Not so sure what to do now. He said it was because of my MS, he didn't want to have to be picking me up in the bathroom at 3:00 am. when he has to be at the hospital at 6.

        Maybe I am just venting. IDK.

        Lisa
        Try starting at Palitive Care they can accept at prior ages there. Good luck.

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          #34
          So sorry that you are going through this. You seem like such a sweet person.

          I am separated from my husband. He, too, became abusive. Although it wasn't because of my MS, having MS made me feel too vulnerable to stay. It was really hard, but I've come out the other side. Being away from a stressful spouse has helped me a lot.

          Take care of yourself! If you have to leave temporarily, do so. Your safety is paramount. I learned that there is a lot of support for abused spouses. Reach out. You can contact whichever social services are in your area to find help.

          I believe in karma, too. Your spouse will get what's coming to him one day.

          Be well! Feel free to reach out to me or others on the board for support.

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            #35
            Originally posted by 22cyclist View Post
            Each of us had a prenump as we both are set to get sizable inheritances.
            I suspect that regardless of the state with the physical and emotional abuse he is heaping on you, that the prenup could be thrown own and you could get significantly more from him. In addition, if you did not develop MS until after the marriage, that could come into play as well for your future care. Being a fair-weathered husband would not go over so well, I suspect.

            Ask your attorney what his thoughts are on this.

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