I have never used this forum to vent much, but sometimes things build up, eh? Might as well vent to those who might just understand.
I had a neurologist appointment yesterday, and I showed up on time, dutifully, as usual, but this time it was different. I usually have good visits, somewhat hopeful.
It started when I saw my ex boyfriend in the hallways. The one who left our relationship to go become an x-ray tech. Fine, it threw me a bit, I have to admit it. We all know strong emotions and MS don't mix well.
Next this one nurse asked me to do a 25 foot walking test for the Fampyra. I guess I was still a bit upset because I zoomed through it (with cane) then tripped over my own sneakers and fell flat on my butt. Not a big deal, but I started crying like a baby and couldn't seem to get control of myself for about 5 minutes. The worst thing was that I went to the appointment alone, so there was nobody there that really cared.
The rest of the appointment was unremarkable in that they decided I was stable on my medications and that they wanted to see me in 6 months. That left me feeling sad as well. I "manage" on my medications, but I'm hardly "doing fine". My life feels like a constant obstacle course.
I not feeling sorry for myself, well maybe a bit, but it was not a great day yesterday.
I had a neurologist appointment yesterday, and I showed up on time, dutifully, as usual, but this time it was different. I usually have good visits, somewhat hopeful.
It started when I saw my ex boyfriend in the hallways. The one who left our relationship to go become an x-ray tech. Fine, it threw me a bit, I have to admit it. We all know strong emotions and MS don't mix well.
Next this one nurse asked me to do a 25 foot walking test for the Fampyra. I guess I was still a bit upset because I zoomed through it (with cane) then tripped over my own sneakers and fell flat on my butt. Not a big deal, but I started crying like a baby and couldn't seem to get control of myself for about 5 minutes. The worst thing was that I went to the appointment alone, so there was nobody there that really cared.
The rest of the appointment was unremarkable in that they decided I was stable on my medications and that they wanted to see me in 6 months. That left me feeling sad as well. I "manage" on my medications, but I'm hardly "doing fine". My life feels like a constant obstacle course.
I not feeling sorry for myself, well maybe a bit, but it was not a great day yesterday.
Comment