How do I fix being unhappy?

[pennstater]

Jerry,

Hope you are in Air conditioning now. Hot as hell in our neck of the woods.

I don't know if this is an option, but I rediscovered the peace that comes with sitting on the porch early AM, with tea, listening to the birds. So quiet. I start my day there now, writing 3 gratitudes. Some are deep, some are as simple as the newspaper(yes, a true honest paper for my news) wasn't in the bush. If it rains, I listen to the rain. It just seems to set a more peaceful and light tone for the day.

My husband put up bird feeders and buys different seed to attract different families. He fills them at night, and I try to identify different birds. Can't believe it, but I am a birdwatcher. We also get gophers, deer, red fox since the farm park is near. So I get a treat sometime.

Also do container gardening on the porch.

Contemplating learning an instrument and/or a language. Need to challenge my brain more. I think music may be good. I just have to tell myself if I am no good, but having fun, that is the goal!

And our dog is great for spirits. Agree that puppy may be too much, so next dog will be older from the start.

Hope you find some joy.

[REG53]

Sorry about your boredom Jerry. I hope you will be able to find a hobby you will enjoy. If I did not have a scooter to go shopping, I would go crazy. Do you have a scooter? They also make them to ride in the yard.

I loved the suggestion about knitting caps for children with cancer.

[Mamabug]

I loved the suggestion of writing a book or a blog.

[JerryD]

Thanks for all of the responses. Yes, pennstater . I am in the A/C, thank goodness. Your response gave me some peaceful thoughts. Kind of 'poetic'. REG53... what kind of scooter do you have? Or, better question, what scooter would you recommend? I have an electric powered scooter but it is underpowered and can't get around on anything but a smooth surface.

[Mamabug]

And, Jerry. There is a difference between being unhappy and being clinically depressed. If what you are experiencing is simply unhappiness, hopefully, some of the suggestions will work. If you suspect depression, please see a doctor.

[JerryD]

Thanks for your concern, Mamabug. How can a person NOT be depressed knowing that every day will be the same or worse for the rest of one's life. I take Zoloft to help me but it's not euphoria. I am in the house with A/C and I can't complain about my living conditions.
I am grateful for the good things that I have. But having MS has stripped me of any optimism.
I continually look for any thread of positivity to hang on to. I want to know when will the MS scourge end? Can anyone tell me? I know the answer. Maybe, I hope soon. lol

[Mamabug]

Sorry that the Zoloft does not seem to be helping much. It feels hopeful to me that you are searching for additional ideas to increase your happiness, and that some of the ideas sounded hopeful, and peaceful to you.

Some days, I feel unhappy too. Some days, I'm tired of being tired.

[REG53]

Jerry, My first scooter I brought is an electric one called pride celebrity 4 wheel, which I love. My husband brought me a cobra gt4 which goes even faster, it is also electric but pricey. I love both of these.

You may also want to google rugged terrain 4 wheel scooters.

[jreagan70]

Unhappiness and boredom are two different things. There are plenty of people who are too busy to be bored and yet they're still deeply unhappy. Hobbies can fill time but they don't necessarily make a person happy.

A major reason people are unhappy is that their emotions are just reactions to outside conditions. So when they find they can't control outside conditions and they don't like what's going on, they have left themselves no choice except to be unhappy. Their attitude is, "Give me something to be happy about and I'll be happy." Except it doesn't work that way.

As Abe Lincoln said, "Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be." Happiness is a learned state. People can be happy amid terrible circumstances by training themselves how to be happy and stop giving so much attention to things that make them unhappy.

A lot of people with MS just refuse to be happy because MS is such a terrible scourge in their lives that it wouldn't be "right" to be happy in the face of it. But two classic questions come up: 1) How's that working for ya? and 2) Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?

And they make the argument, "But it's true! MS is terrible and has ruined my life!" There are true things in life to unhappy about, but there are even more true things in life to be happy about. Happiness lies in which truths a person appreciates more and gives more attention to. That's why writing in a gratitude journal every day has been shown to work in increasing people's happiness.

Learning how to be happy means to stop practicing being unhappy.

There's a book by Marci Shimoff called "Happy for No Reason" that looks at how happy people got that way and how anyone can increase their happiness. It's worth reading for anyone, but especially for people living with trying circumstances like MS. And for anyone who's in therapy, it's a great book to discuss with your therapist.

[pennstater]

Jerry,

Few other things. Aside from gratitude journal( which also has a picture of the important people in my life now and also earlier times) and mindfulness, I have a separate journal I keep for quotes.

As I come across quotes I like, I add to it. Some are inspirational, some religious, some funny, some optimistic, some sarcastic, etc... Any source is fair game: Ghandi, Mother Theresa, Helen Keller, FDR, Abe Lincoln, John Kruk, Dilbert, Kermit the Frog, Any of Jeff Dunham's dummies...you get the picture. When I am having a rough time, I look at my gratitudes and quotes. They usually help pull me out of a funk when needed.

I also have play lists to match moods and what I need: energy (mostly 60s to 80s retro fast dance songs), peace and calmness (hymns, folk songs, nature sounds, light classical), a good cry ( hymns, show tunes), happy feet ( southern rock). Of course, categories and music choices are all personal preferences. And bit takes time to create and maintain.

Other things, I find coloring books relaxing, and even some paint by numbers. I joke I am regressing to my childhood. But maybe if you look at things you enjoyed before and see if possible to do, even if need adaption. I gave up candle making, as just too easy for me to burn myself. I realized I was always interested in genealogy, so researching family history. Back to 1692 in one tree, 1736 in another. It is fun as I try to imagine their life at the time. Later, I may try to match historical and cultural facts to my own family tree to understand it better. I am considering volunteering with a local assisted living center to help some senoirs research their trees.

Wish you well. I do hope you can find a scooter that gives you some more freedom. Explore your interests in reading, it could open up a new opportunity to expand onto a new hobby.

[TaoWarrior]

Jerry I play online games. One I play now called Rail Nation is a team based game where we have a skype forum set up. We can plan the game or just chat and joke around. It's good to get friends you can talk to. A lot of browser games have a team element and if you play for a bit you can build friendships with folks.

Not the greatest idea of all times but it does give me an outlet when I'm feeling down.

[Thinkimjob]

I don't know. Got three months supply of antidepressants, just sitting there. Haven't taken any.

It's okay sitting dead still on the couch. Except oops that second glass of water.u
The only time I feel happy is when I am utterly concentrated on something other than me.

As soon as I need to oh, clean my teeth, have a shower, lavatorial stuff, I kind of want to cry, because every little thing is so sodding HARD, and I do it, because I have to and I give myself points for courage.

Spent five minutes today crying in the disability car park, before I went to the super(yeah right) market, psyching myself up.

But you know, it was all right. Got my milk from the far left back corner and my bread from the far right front corner. Got home and cried a bit more.

I hate this disease. I wish it would end, instead of dragging on and remorselessly down for years and years and years.

That wasn't much help, was it, JerryD. Sorry.

Still, like Orange is the New Black, and the Walking Dead will be back on soon.

[KatieAgain]

Still, like Orange is the New Black, and the Walking Dead will be back on soon.

Orange is the New Black had its 3rd Season Primier last week here, so it should be headed your way soon. I am waiting for the Aussie Version "Wentworth" to update its new season on Netflix.

As far as grocery shopping, I found a grocery shopping service that I employ when I am sick. They charge 3% of my total bill and delivery is free if I order $100 worth of groceries or more. I email my shopping list by 0900 in the morning...groceries are delivered by 5 in the afternoon and they will also unpack for me.

Agencies in the States such as Seniors Helping Seniors have the grocery service as well and will assist even if you are not over 65.

If you don't have a grocery service, employ a young person with drivers license to go to the grocery store weekly for you. Lots of high school and college kids looking to make a few bucks.