Help! please.

[letijuar]

Hi Everyone,
My name is Leti and I do not have MS but my sister was recently diagnosed with MS. She is having a hard time adjusting to these news and so is my family. I am a medical student but I only know so much about MS. She will be starting on Copaxone next week. She has been experiencing back pain, face pain,optic neuritis, headaches once in a while, and fatigue. Right now she is struggling with deciding if she should continue with her dreams of becoming a lawyer. I keep telling her that MS should not stop her from becoming a lawyer. But she's afraid short/long term memory loss will affect her with continuing her studies. She is experiencing some short term memory loss but nothing bad, I keep telling her to continue reading and learning new things to exercise the brain. I was wondering if someone can advice me on what I should tell her about her future career? Or is there any other careers she should be following instead?
I am from the San Diego area. My sister is 22 years old.

[sulphur kennel]

Keep going

No one can tell what the future holds. She could be walking down the sidewalk and be hit by a car. Should that be a reason not to follow her dreams? Don't give up. We need lawyers that can understand what me deal with daily. She should use it to her advantage.

[palmtree]

No one has answered your message. I think it's because we don't have the answers either. MS is such a difficult disease. We all find a

[Seasha]

Hi Leti and welcome! Thanks for checking in on behalf of your sister. None of us has a crystal ball looking dinto the future (healthy or otherwise)!

If she has a passion for continuing her education to becoming a lawyer then, IMO, she should continue just that and never give up! Hey! She could become a disability lawyer - many of us have had to go on SSDI and a lawyer who understands the complexities of living with MS is a bonus.

She can always ask for help with her studies in the classroom. I know of others who have asked for accommodations doing just that - like note taking or tutoring.

If becoming a lawyer proves too difficult in the long run, maybe she could become a paralegal. The criteria is less demanding.

She must be having a hard time adjusting to her new diagnosis, but it does become easier along the way. Many of us have gone on to have successful careers after a dx and led productive lives for many years ahead!

Thank you for taking an interest in your sister's wellbeing. She's lucky to have you
Good luck wishes for her!

[SNOOPY]

Hi letijuar and welcome to MSWorld.

my sister was recently diagnosed with MS. She is having a hard time adjusting to these news and so is my family.

Your sister and your family are dealing with grief. This very normal when getting a diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis. This can feel very much like a rollercoaster (ups and downs) but on an emotional level.

This link below explains the 5 stages of grief:
http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-st...oss-and-grief/

Due to the unpredictability and changes to a person's life this disease can cause the grieving process can happen periodically through our life.

Sometimes in life we can regret the paths not taken. If your sister's dream is to become a Lawyer then the question for her becomes, will she regret not following that path.

Our lives change many times throughout our lifetime. Many times the changes are not what we expected or even wanted but, there is a reason or purpose (I believe) for all that happens. Sometimes down the road we understand and sometimes we don't.

This disease doesn't have to be an end, but a new beginning for whatever paths we take in life.

[Waydwnsouth1]

Welcome Leti! Your sister is lucky to have you, who cares so much for her. Right now your sister is still trying to adjust to the shock of the diagnosis. In time she will adjust and will be better prepared to make her career decisions. That's just my opinion. Best of luck to you and to your sister as struggles with her new life with MS.

[Seasha]

Sometimes in life we can regret the paths not taken. If your sister's dream is to become a Lawyer then the question for her becomes, will she regret not following that path.

Our lives change many times throughout our lifetime. Many times the changes are not what we expected or even wanted but, there is a reason or purpose (I believe) for all that happens. Sometimes down the road we understand and sometimes we don't.

This disease doesn't have to be an end, but a new beginning for whatever paths we take in life.

Yes to all this. Thanks for saying what was in the back of my mind. I just couldn't bring it forward!

[kelm10]

information

thank you for reaching out and trying to help your sister.

When working on my Masters I stuggled. There is medications that can help with the fatigue and possibly the memory like Ritalin.

Many MSers say that the first year is the hardest.

Things to consider:

-is she getting the sleep that she needs
-is she eating correctly
-minimizing energy drinks
-encourage her to come here and read and chat, we understand
-life can be full of regrets. live it to the fullest, she can pursue law school slower the the regimine that is the usual.

[letijuar]

No one can tell what the future holds. She could be walking down the sidewalk and be hit by a car. Should that be a reason not to follow her dreams? Don't give up. We need lawyers that can understand what me deal with daily. She should use it to her advantage.

Thanks a million for replying back with wonderful words of encouragement. I have informed my sister on this and she is taking a look at Disability lawyer careers. Thank you
Best,
Leti

[letijuar]

Hi Leti and welcome! Thanks for checking in on behalf of your sister. None of us has a crystal ball looking dinto the future (healthy or otherwise)!

If she has a passion for continuing her education to becoming a lawyer then, IMO, she should continue just that and never give up! Hey! She could become a disability lawyer - many of us have had to go on SSDI and a lawyer who understands the complexities of living with MS is a bonus.

She can always ask for help with her studies in the classroom. I know of others who have asked for accommodations doing just that - like note taking or tutoring.

If becoming a lawyer proves too difficult in the long run, maybe she could become a paralegal. The criteria is less demanding.

She must be having a hard time adjusting to her new diagnosis, but it does become easier along the way. Many of us have gone on to have successful careers after a dx and led productive lives for many years ahead!

Thank you for taking an interest in your sister's wellbeing. She's lucky to have you
Good luck wishes for her!

Hi Seasha,
Thank you so much for the wonderful comment. My sister read all of these and I can see she's on a better mind set and hopefully she reconsiders staying with Law if that's what she really wants. She will be on this site as soon as she feels ready =)

[letijuar]

Hi letijuar and welcome to MSWorld.



Your sister and your family are dealing with grief. This very normal when getting a diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis. This can feel very much like a rollercoaster (ups and downs) but on an emotional level.

This link below explains the 5 stages of grief:
http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-st...oss-and-grief/

Due to the unpredictability and changes to a person's life this disease can cause the grieving process can happen periodically through our life.

Sometimes in life we can regret the paths not taken. If your sister's dream is to become a Lawyer then the question for her becomes, will she regret not following that path.

Our lives change many times throughout our lifetime. Many times the changes are not what we expected or even wanted but, there is a reason or purpose (I believe) for all that happens. Sometimes down the road we understand and sometimes we don't.

This disease doesn't have to be an end, but a new beginning for whatever paths we take in life.

Hello,
I really appreciate your comment and wonderful words of encouragement. She is slowly moving forward and accepting MS.

[letijuar]

Welcome Leti! Your sister is lucky to have you, who cares so much for her. Right now your sister is still trying to adjust to the shock of the diagnosis. In time she will adjust and will be better prepared to make her career decisions. That's just my opinion. Best of luck to you and to your sister as struggles with her new life with MS.

Thank you so much. I completely agree with you that she needs time to think about what she wants to do. I just hope she picks what she really has a passion for.

[letijuar]

thank you for reaching out and trying to help your sister.

When working on my Masters I stuggled. There is medications that can help with the fatigue and possibly the memory like Ritalin.

Many MSers say that the first year is the hardest.

Things to consider:

-is she getting the sleep that she needs
-is she eating correctly
-minimizing energy drinks
-encourage her to come here and read and chat, we understand
-life can be full of regrets. live it to the fullest, she can pursue law school slower the the regimine that is the usual.

Hello,
Thank you so much for your advice. My sisters read this and I can see she is not giving up. Thank you. She will be on this site as soon as she is ready.

[Maggie2015]

it is possible!

Hi Letijuar,

My name is Maggie and I am new to this Board like you. I am so glad you reached out for your sister and that she has been relieved to get the support the wonderful people here have given.

I want to contribute my story to possibly help your sister.

I was diagnosed with MS when I was working full-time as a professor of English. I was able to continue working and succeeding! for three more years for two reasons 1) as kelm10 said, I was put on a low dose of Ritalin two times a day to help with fatigue and cognitive problems; and 2) I asked for and received reasonable accommodations through Human Resources.

Ritalin was an enormous help. And the reasonable accommodations let me keep going. For example, I asked for a three day a week teaching schedule so I had at least two days--one for doctor's appointments, and one to just work from home in my pajamas and do classroom prep and paper grading and answer emails (and if I didn't have doctor's appointments, I had two days to work from home).

I did everything I would have done on campus, but not having to get up and get "professionally" dressed and do my hair and make-up and pack all my heavy books and folders and drive to work two days a week made SUCH A DIFFERENCE. I didn't fall behind, no one suffered (not my colleagues or my students) and I was able to keep doing my job and doing it well!

As to your sister and her dream, I would say like Seasha and others have said that she should pursue it as she is able. If her path to being a lawyer goes at a slower pace or is structured differently because of her MS, I hope that she will know it is OK.

And to add another part of my personal experience to my advice for your sister, this is why I want her to know it's OK.

She may have limitations due to her MS, but her MS also gives her an advantage in that she can help others because she will have the person experience to do so. Sulphur Kennel said we need people who understand what we deal with daily, and Seasha suggested that she could become a disability lawyer.

I just went through a 9-month custody battle for my soon-to-be 8 year old daughter. I am waiting the judge's ruling on custody. My ex-husband has claimed that I cannot be the custodial parent because of my MS.

And my own attorney has not only reinforced to me that I will probably lose because of my MS, but even in our one-on-one conversations she has made me feel to a degree ashamed of my MS or that I have to hide it.

I appreciated my own attorney's honesty when she said to me we were likely to lose the case because the judge would want my daughter to be with the "healthy" parent. But in our own talks preparing for trial, I would urge her to help me assemble evidence that I can be the primary caretaker with MS.

For example, after my relapse in October 2013, I was using a wheelchair. I have pictures of myself dressed up as what I called a "Wheelchair Witch" being a room mother at my daughter's first-grade class Halloween party that year. I brought treats, and I wheeled myself around the classroom and talked to each of my daughter's classmates and answered all their questions about my wheelchair.

In the end, one of my daughter's classmates told her she "was so lucky" that she got to ride in my lap when I was using my wheelchair.

None of the kids were scared of me and I got to participate completely in her party.

But my attorney did not want the judge to see a picture of me using a wheelchair. She wanted to show the judge that my MS relapse was over and that I was "healthy" now. She would say things to me like, "I'm sure you wish you didn't have MS, but you do so your job is to prove that your MS is stable now."

Or she would say, "I know you don't want to have MS, but you do and if you have a relapse before the trial it is all over."

I started to feel ashamed of having MS and I did what she advised and got my most recent MRI showing I had no disease progression since my relapse and a letter from my neurologist stating my low EDSS score and claiming that "at this point her MS should not interfere with her parental duties."

I had my parents drive all the way to my home state to testify that if I had a relapse while my daughter was in my care they only lived 10 minutes away and that my father would make certain I got treatment while my mother would take care of my daughter and ensure her routine was not disrupted.

I'm not saying my attorney gave me the wrong advice--but I guess what I am trying to point out is that I started to feel like I'd committed some sort of crime by having MS and having had a relapse and I needed to be "exonerated."

But I can't be, because MS is chronic and unpredictable.

I guess I just wish there's a way my attorney could have communicated with me that wouldn't have made me feel like "less of a mother" or "less of person" because of my MS.

I think we DESPERATELY NEED lawyers who understand disability and are able to help people with disabilities. Your sister would have a HUGE ADVANTAGE. I bet people with disabilities would absolutely go to her for help because they would TRUST her to understand their struggles and to fight FOR them.

Please let your sister know what I've said here if you can. In my opinion, it doesn't matter if it takes your sister double the time to get her degree and if she becomes an attorney she can only practice "part-time" for example--she can still pursue her dream and she can still help people!!!

A big hug to your sister and a to you for being such a good sister!

Maggie

[TheMiddleWay]

I am a paralegal, and I’ve had MS for 5 years. I work with an attorney who has had MS for 9 years. There is no reason that someone with MS can’t be a successful lawyer. If this is something she really wants to do, then she should go for it. But go in with eyes wide open. All the attorneys I know work more than 40 hours a week. They aren’t necessarily in the office that entire time, but almost all of them take work home on a regular basis. The pressure to bill hours when working for a law firm is very real and tied to advancement. But again- one of my colleagues has had MS for 9 years and is successful.

I would encourage her to look into working for a small or medium sized firm, or perhaps as in-house counsel for a corporation. I think at a very small firm (1-3 attorneys) or as a solo practitioner, it would be stressful knowing that if you have a relapse there’s no one to cover for you. At a really large firm the higher-ups are less likely to know you personally and therefore less likely to be flexible and understanding. The good news is that depending on the kind of work, it’s feasible to work from home for a time, which might mean that she would be able to keep working with a very flexible schedule during a relapse.

Having a law degree doesn’t necessarily mean working in a firm with 200 attorneys and billing 2000 hours a year. It doesn’t always mean being someone who appears in a court room. Attitudes about work-life balance vary greatly between firms and employers. There are a wide variety of opportunities for people with law degrees. Investigating the possibilities and considering the work environment in addition to the law area is important, whether you have MS or not. The trick will be finding the right position or company/firm.

My biggest concern has little to do with her MS. There are quite a few new attorneys out there right now that can’t find jobs. Law school usually means taking on a very large amount of debt. I’ve seen many newly licensed attorneys forced to work for very little money as temps in unstable situations simply because law schools are turning out more lawyers at a time when technology and the economy are reducing demand. Networking is crucial in landing a position.

During a relapse or being newly diagnosed is not the time to make big life decisions. When you’re in it, it’s hard to see beyond it. As others have said here, you don’t really know what’s coming in life- and while MS adds a layer- that’s true for all people. Also, going down one path doesn’t mean you’re stuck on it forever.