You Know What is Bad?

[KatieAgain]

Your doctor tells you your liver enzymes are elevated and you say , "Good."

Then your doctor says it might be from all the medication from your recent flare and you say, "Sure hope not."

And finally your doc says lets hope the liver enzymes come down by next month, and you say, "Lets hope they increase."

Then your doctor says to not give up hope, and you say, "Gone."

Thats what happens when I have a flare. A little piece of me goes with it. And now I have had one too many flares...because there is nothing left to give. I am indifferent...I just dont give two flying figs.

[mercadies25]

Finally some honest thoughts!

Just know you're not alone. Although I know you feel alone.

This sucks and no one no how can you put a bow on it.

So sorry darlin.

Big hugs.

[pennstater]

Katie,

So sorry to hear you are coming out of a flare. Of course the steroids don't help our attitudes any. I have to get an abdominal ultrasound due to counts and MRI showed something. Sometimes I think I would just rather not get some tests sine the show stuff that is often meaningless.

Here is hoping you start to feel better.

Take care.

[Thinkimjob]

My neurosurgeon would say you are feeling a tad nihilistic.

He still wants to stick a stent across the aneurysm in my brain. I asked him, really, what was the point, things being what they are.
He said, "What if we don't do it and you die, and the next day they discover a cure for MS?"
"Well, I'd be dead and I'd never know."
"You're just be nihilistic."
No, realistic.

You'll get your mojo back, Katie. It's hard, but you are a soldier, and today's VE Day.

[J-Bo]

Wish I had something useful to say Katie. I hope it helps a little that you have a place where you can voice despair. I know that I don't feel free to do that in my personal life. It gets exhausting to be everyone's "brave, strong inspiration." And it's lonely too.

If it does help to get it out here, please keep doing it. We can take it, and we get it.

[REG53]

Katie, I am so sorry you are feeling down and please don't give up. Your post are inspiring and helpful to so many.

I hope you start feeling better soon.

[MSW1963]

Katie, your conversation sounds a bit like the one I had with my neuro, although mine was related to having my med shipments just stop showing up one month.

Talked about it during my last OV, and doc's office assured me they would get the 'big guns' DMT coordinator on 'it' to resume DMT meds. I am so over the DMTs, begging for funding to help with co-pays, side effects, etc.

My attitude is very much 'I really not interested and could really care less' and 'what's the point?' other than what's in it for them to keep me on a DMT. MS is never going to stop progressing. I'm so over the DMT hype that I was so enthusiastic about initially. Sorry I know my cynicism is probably the last thing you need to hear. Hoping your flare and enzymes levels stabilize soon and you start feeling better.


I'm wishing you the best

[kim-mastro]

Katie-I'm so sorry that you are feeling so bad. I know that there is nothing any of us can say that will make this better but you know that we are all here for you. Vent, breathe, and fight on. This is always a fight for one. Eventually you'll start feeling better. Believe that.

[22cyclist]

Katie: Hang in there. I am at your point of I can't take this or that medication due to kidney function. So I may end up with nothing. For now they are watching me very closely on Ty with MRIs every 3 months or any time I get new symptoms.

It just sucks sometimes. I know you will be OK, as will I. Glad you came on here to vent!

Take care
Lisa

[KatieAgain]

Thank you everyone. I read through each of your posts and each of them made me feel better.

I think what has really gotten me down is I am in out-patient rehab now 2 times a week and my MS Specialist wants to put me on Lemtrada next year. I like TY better.

This is no picnic...for any of us.

Thanks again for letting me vent.

[Tia1]

(Hugs)

Hi Katie, I tried to reply before but my post was lost. I just want you to know that I am praying for you! You are amazing and strong (i know that these words can sound like curse words some time, cause none of us want to be but so strong) but your journey and your willingness to share it with others has been so helpful to me.

Enjoy that little puppy of yours and that amazing view that I've heard you talk about and hold on to knowledge that you have of better days. You've come so far and overcome so much. The joy that you have received and shared is powerful. It can happen again. The sun is always more beautiful after the storm, let us help you get through the storm.

I wish that I lived closer to you and could help you in a tangible way. I believe in the power of prayer and will continue to pray for you.

[KatieAgain]

Hi Katie, I tried to reply before but my post was lost. I just want you to know that I am praying for you! You are amazing and strong (i know that these words can sound like curse words some time, cause none of us want to be but so strong) but your journey and your willingness to share it with others has been so helpful to me.

Enjoy that little puppy of yours and that amazing view that I've heard you talk about and hold on to knowledge that you have of better days. You've come so far and overcome so much. The joy that you have received and shared is powerful. It can happen again. The sun is always more beautiful after the storm, let us help you get through the storm.

I wish that I lived closer to you and could help you in a tangible way. I believe in the power of prayer and will continue to pray for you.

Thanks Tia for your well wishes and prayers. I love my little guy...he is a toy poodle.

Someone's prayers helped. A fellow retired AF officer that lives in the town next to me shows Toy Poodles and one of her dogs had a litter in March.

So tomorrow the puppy stork is bringing a 2 pound, furry ball of pure love to my house here in Katieville. My little guy is going to be a big brother.

[kim-mastro]

Hopefully the puppy stork dropped off your new little bundle of joy and all is well (or at least getting better) in Katieville! I was very glad that you have something to make you happy!!!

[Tia1]

Thanks Tia for your well wishes and prayers. I love my little guy...he is a toy poodle.

Someone's prayers helped. A fellow retired AF officer that lives in the town next to me shows Toy Poodles and one of her dogs had a litter in March.

So tomorrow the puppy stork is bringing a 2 pound, furry ball of pure love to my house here in Katieville. My little guy is going to be a big brother.

Awww, that is so awesome! Congrats! I wish we had picture options. Let us know how it goes.

[KatieAgain]

Neither the puppy or his sibling (who went to another home to be a show dog) passed their vet checks due to serious behavior issues. The breeder is sending both dogs to a behavior specialist that is going to send a few months working with them.

After serious discussion with my personal vet...I will be getting a different dog. When? Not anytime soon.

I have been approved for a Service Dog, so that option is still on the table and one I am going to have to give some serious consideration.

In the meantime, I am the owner of the most wonderful toy poodle in the U.S. And he has been my best buddy for over 14 years.