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FELT BAD AND GUILTY

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    FELT BAD AND GUILTY

    My Aunt's from Los Angeles are in town for the next week and yesterday I took off to spend the day with them. Unfortunately my MS had other thought. When I woke up and got out of bed I knew I was in trouble. The fatigue was horrible and the pain in my legs was a 14 on a scale of 1-10, 10 being the worst. I took every medication I could safely take but no relief arrived. When I picked them up at their hotel it was painfully obvious I was in bad shape. I was having trouble walking, and as I was walking in front of them I could hear them commenting on my problems.

    So we went to get their rental car, which wasn't ready and wouldn't be for another hour and forty-five minutes. So I took them to the cemetery to visit the gravesite of their brother and my mother. After that they asked me to take them back to their hotel so they could rest, mind you we had only been gone for a hour and a half, and they would call my nephew to come pick them up.

    There were obviously being nice and taking not that I was not doing well at all. But I felt terrible that I couldn't spend more time with them. I also felt guilty. I know they understood but I still felt bad about it.

    I will see them throughout the weekend but it still doesn't make me feel any better about yesterday.

    How do you handle that type of situation? I'm lucky in that I didn't have to bow out they did that for me but I still had to cut our visit to two hours.

    Feeling guilty and bad.
    Dx'd 4/1/11. First symptoms in 2001. Avonex 4/11, Copaxone 5/12, Tecfidera 4/13 Gilenya 4/14-10/14 Currently on no DMT's, Started Aubagio 9/21/15. Back on Avonex 10/15

    It's hard to beat a person that never gives up.
    Babe Ruth

    #2
    Don't feel guilty. There was nothing you could do about it.

    Often I think MS plays up when "it" knows there is something you really want to do.
    I generally say, "I feel terrible about this, and I was so looking forward to spending the day with you, but I just can't manage it."

    I tell visitors beforehand I have about three "good" hours in me, maximum.
    One activity a day, two at most. Maybe go out for lunch, stay home for dinner.

    Forewarned is forearmed. The other thing, it is easier all round once you get over the first hurdle, which is the reality of your condition.
    Hiding it is more dehabilitating than anything. You'll be surprised how understanding and kind people are.
    Always thought my father would never cope with the sight of me and a wheelie-walker, and it must have upset him at first, but he sucked it up.

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      #3
      I will admit I fell in the same guilt trap in the past. MS is a pest, worse than any kind of gripping cold or bug combined. I noticed out of an entire month I would have 3 good energy days if I'm lucky.

      Please don't punish yourself if your body doesn't want to co-operate. I learned quick if I get anxious for good or bad, I wind up triggering a pseudo flare-up.

      It's not your fault so please don't beat yourself up.
      Dx RRMS 2015

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