I have to give up my career which I had reached a high point with several years ago, I was at the top of my field. I can no longer do that work or I will not be able to do it for a long long time. I haven't actually been able to do it in four and a half years. It isn't work I wanted to do but was pretty much what friends and family pushed me into not listening to me when I said how I need my husband to help me do it as my assistant because the MS made it too hard for me to do alone any longer.
And now even though he's home all day every day, he's too busy taking care of me to handle another full time job. He has a full time job already but then when I got back home from rehab, he suddenly had another full time job in changing me, helping me with everything I need all day, he's like a personal aide to me and can't even get enough sleep.
We had another horrible day and so I accept it, my career is over. It's time to switch gears and move in a direction that I am capable of doing without any help. I might not be able to even do that either. It's time to liquidate my business assets and other assets and move on.
I'm going to cancel my home PT and in a few months if I ever get my handicap taxi pass so it would only costs me $2 instead of $50 (which is simply prohibitive right now) to get to outpatient therapy, maybe I'll be able to go then. But maybe not, that might be too much for him to help me with. I just need to focus on losing weight as that will help so much. I have some great equipment and just need to train, train, train. If I lose weight, I can get a smaller wheelchair that will fit through the doors of my house. I haven't even been in my house in six months and it's driving me to the brink.
So my future endeavors are permanently on hold. Knowing this disease, that means that career is done, finished, I did an incredible job of what I used to do but now it's time to bow out and hope a younger generation may take it over. Even though I didn't want to do it originally, I came to love it because I was so good at it and who doesn't enjoy something they do exceedingly well? Oh well. Instead, I will spend more time with my dogs, birds, and bunnies.
I miss my parents though and my mom is terminally ill and I won't be able to see her for a long long time, I hope she lasts that long. Thanks for reading.
Letting go is liberating, hard but liberating.
And now even though he's home all day every day, he's too busy taking care of me to handle another full time job. He has a full time job already but then when I got back home from rehab, he suddenly had another full time job in changing me, helping me with everything I need all day, he's like a personal aide to me and can't even get enough sleep.
We had another horrible day and so I accept it, my career is over. It's time to switch gears and move in a direction that I am capable of doing without any help. I might not be able to even do that either. It's time to liquidate my business assets and other assets and move on.
I'm going to cancel my home PT and in a few months if I ever get my handicap taxi pass so it would only costs me $2 instead of $50 (which is simply prohibitive right now) to get to outpatient therapy, maybe I'll be able to go then. But maybe not, that might be too much for him to help me with. I just need to focus on losing weight as that will help so much. I have some great equipment and just need to train, train, train. If I lose weight, I can get a smaller wheelchair that will fit through the doors of my house. I haven't even been in my house in six months and it's driving me to the brink.
So my future endeavors are permanently on hold. Knowing this disease, that means that career is done, finished, I did an incredible job of what I used to do but now it's time to bow out and hope a younger generation may take it over. Even though I didn't want to do it originally, I came to love it because I was so good at it and who doesn't enjoy something they do exceedingly well? Oh well. Instead, I will spend more time with my dogs, birds, and bunnies.
I miss my parents though and my mom is terminally ill and I won't be able to see her for a long long time, I hope she lasts that long. Thanks for reading.
Letting go is liberating, hard but liberating.
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