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FEEL BAD FOR MY DW!!

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    #1

    FEEL BAD FOR MY DW!!

    My DW and I don't get out a lot because I am usually to tired to do anything. Well last night we went to a wedding, the first time in a long time we were able to go to a function together in a long time.

    By the time I rushed home from work, which happened to an extremely busy day, and got dressed for the wedding I was feeling the effects. I was getting tired and she could tell. She told me I didn't have to go but I really wanted to go. So we made it to the wedding which was beautiful service and made it to the reception.

    After about 45 minutes at the reception I was exhausted. I told her I really needed to leave. I could see the disappointment in her face but I knew she understood. But, I really felt bad. It broke my heart to have to leave so soon after getting there. I knew she was enjoying herself and it hurt me to have to leave. Here it is late Saturday afternoon and I still feel terrible about it. Even though I know she understands it still hurts my soul.

    How does everyone else handle this kind of situation? I don't want this to happen again.
    Dx'd 4/1/11. First symptoms in 2001. Avonex 4/11, Copaxone 5/12, Tecfidera 4/13 Gilenya 4/14-10/14 Currently on no DMT's, Started Aubagio 9/21/15. Back on Avonex 10/15

    It's hard to beat a person that never gives up.
    Babe Ruth
    Tags: None
    #2
    Take two cars,

    Also, my DH goes to most evening functions by himself and doesn't mind. It's better than having to be concerned about if I am crashing or having to leave early. Kiss her and tell her to enjoy herself.

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      #3
      Waydownsouth1-a couple of suggestions: a quick nap? just going to the reception? Two cars might work too but if you're like me driving at night is difficult. I'm sure your wife understands!

      Comment

        #4
        Hey Way! I have this trouble too. I generally do a slow caffeine load if I know I am going to have a super long day, eat lots or protein, stay away from the sugar and rest every chance I get. Your wife knows how hard you try, she just saw you. It is the disease, not you. I know that makes it no less hard to deal with but as a couple you need to compartmentalize it like that. Maybe the two of you can brainstorm about ways to save up your energy to go on outings.

        Take care
        Lisa
        Disabled RN with MS for 14 years
        SPMS EDSS 7.5 Wheelchair (but a racing one)
        Tysabri

        Comment

          #5
          Buy her some flowers, and tell her you love her, and that you appreciate the sacrifices she makes when when your disease (which NEITHER of you asked for!) makes it impossible to make it to, or through, events you'd love to share.

          They DO put up with an awful lot in living through this with us, don't they...
          "He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." ~James Elliot

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            #6
            Me? If my partner or anyone else I've gone out with wants to stay, and I want to go home, and no-one can drive, I'll get a cab.

            I've got about three hours' worth of energy, sleep as much as I want.

            Points to you - you made it to the wedding after a hard day at work. Your wife loves you. She understands. You were tired and you felt sick.

            There really was nothing you could do about it. Not as though you were throwing a hissy fit.

            Comment

              #7
              Hats off to you for going to an evening function, especially after work! I don't drive due to blindness from MS but always have taxi money for an escape if things turn bad. My DH is the best, at first he thought he needed to accompany me home but it took almost 10 years for him to "get it".

              He used to leave with me only to get home and sit around while I was fast asleep, missing all the fun. He finally gets that I truly don't want him to leave, I just have to. Having taxi money has taken away the anxiety of "when", sometimes enables me to stay longer due to no need to find a good time to take my DH away!

              We live in a huge city with many taxi options, there's even a wheelchair taxi company (I've never used it personally but did use it to get my Mum to my wedding in 2010). I urge you to explore any options you can. This may assist your feelings of letting your DW down when either not going, or leaving early, from a function.

              I wish you the best, it's a rough place to be in.
              Jen
              RRMS 2005, Copaxone since 2007
              "I hope to be the person my dog thinks I am."

              Comment

                #8
                I can relate. I only go to these big events when I can rest all day prior to attending. Since I had to stop working, it is less an issue whether week day or week end. But when I was working, I either had to take a vacation day or my husband went without me.

                I am sure your wife knows that attending with her is important to you. Just let her know you are still trying to figure your limits out.
                Kathy
                DX 01/06, currently on Tysabri

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