Do you do better when others.....

[4boysmom]

Do you do better when people give you a break because of your MS, or push you just as hard as they think they can get away with?

I've been doing a water fitness class every weekday at noon for over 6 months now. I'm moving so much better! The teacher is awesome. We have ladies in their 70s with bad knees, backs, etc. We have bored healthier 70ish women. We have several of us in our low 50s, some healthy, and some like me with MS or other issues, slower and in need of flexibility and balance practice. We spend 20 minutes in a warm pool doing basic warm-up moves and stretches, then another 20-25 minutes of flat-out hard work!

We jump up on benches, we run ALOT, we do squats, we skip, we sweat and perspire both, and I love every minute of it! Even though I am the MS lady, I quite often finish the exercise first and lead the pack of runners through the water. It has been such a great thing for my life. Our teacher gives us the maximum goal, but will always say, just do what you can! If I get tired, and slow down, she'll look at me and still say, "Good job, today! Tell your body it served you well. Thank those knees, thank your legs. Can't wait to see you tomorrow and what fun I can come up with for you!"

It has been a great challenge, but I feel awesome about the things I can do now.

On the other hand, I had a physical today. My family doc knows I've been really struggling with digestive issues. He is kind and understanding, and truly wants to get me useful help. But I complained that with all this exercise I'm doing, and really watching calories, I've been unable to lose any weight because of how my digestive tract has basically quit working. In his kind voice he tried to assure me that I am doing just fine, that I weigh the same as I did 2 years ago when in reality I could be 20 lbs. heavier!

I'm wondering if it would have been better if he hadn't been so empathetic about the weight, and said, "Well, maybe you are snacking more than you think you are?" It is interesting that I'm even questioning this. I am working hard, and it doesn't seem fair I can't lose. But the doctor has kind of given me an out, and I'm the type that will take advantage of that. So if I gain 20 lbs. that I really can't afford to gain, will I be okay with myself because of what he said?

Just wondering if anyone else thinks silly thoughts like this.

[poppydarling]

So you are a person who will take an "out" whenever you can? I think that just makes you human. I don't have to look for outsiders to beat me up, either – I usually do a pretty good job of that myself, but that doesn't make it healthy or right.

I think if you're suspicious of people being kind and compassionate, maybe that's what you need to be thinking about, rather than why people weren't meaner to you.

[KatieAgain]

We jump up on benches, we run ALOT, we do squats, we skip, we sweat and perspire both, and I love every minute of it! Even though I am the MS lady, I quite often finish the exercise first and lead the pack of runners through the water. It has been such a great thing for my life. Our teacher gives us the maximum goal, but will always say, just do what you can! If I get tired, and slow down, she'll look at me and still say, "Good job, today! Tell your body it served you well. Thank those knees, thank your legs. Can't wait to see you tomorrow and what fun I can come up with for you!"

I am in my early 50s. If I jumped up on a bench, I would be in the ER with a cracked head. I lost my ability to run years ago, but I can still outpace my 83 year old mother. If I did a squat, I would fall over.

So that is awesome you can still do those things...you should be proud.

However, with that said, I try to do 30 minutes of exercise a day to keep my strength up. Being retired military, the last thing that would motivate me is a drill sergeant. I think I am self motivated to do the things I need.

I found out today that I have been signed up for a new type of vestibular rehab because of this last flare. First thing out of my mouth was, the therapist needs to be kind. But I will in turn do what is asked of me.

A person who is kind to me gets 100% of my attention.

[Marco]

I would try to consider the "feeling awesome" and "moving better" aspects more and worry about the weight less. You are improving your strength, dexterity, flexibility, motility and cardiovascular health; all wonderful things. I know that's much easier to say than do, but you've made positive changes and that's great. Remember building muscle may actually (initially) make you gain weight.

If you're diet needs improvement that's also an excellent place to be. It means with a few changes you can be doing even BETTER. I'm really excited for you and make the additional changes. You are so worth it and will enjoy the fruits of your hard labor. Please keep informed!

[Thinkimjob]

Have to say I am not a fan of "you can try harder". I can't.
I used to hate sympathy, mistaking it, sometimes, not always, for pity.

Now I quite like it. You want to carry my groceries, hoick my wheelie-walker up the steps, clean the cobwebs off my walls? Well, thank you very much. Most kind, whereas before I'd insist I was perfectly fine, even though I was utterly buggered.

Too proud to ask for, or accept help.

My fault, not theirs.

You can only do your best, and you can't always do that. You're only human.

[kelm10]

DITTO

I ditto what Marco says. But, want to add that maybe you need to find a dietitian or nutritionist that can do the same as your water class instructor.

Have you checked out the weight loss section of the message boards. That might be a good place to start.

But, please, remember to not beat yourself up. I teach a water class and can not do what you do.

[4boysmom]

I probably didn't word my initial post the best way possible .

I like both approaches at different times. I just wondered if people generally did better being pushed to their limits, or are more like thinkimjob.

Believe me, I do take help these days. But I still try to push myself when I can. I am trying not to focus so much on losing weight, but how much better I feel.

I do try to keep my caloric intake down to 1200-1400 a day, but since my digestive track has taken a "slow road to china" approach, I'm not doing so well losing. I'm on a quadruple dose of Miralax along with a daily 290 Linzess just to keep things moving! Exercising a good 40-50 minutes daily in the pool, but not losing a thing! It gets a bit discouraging, but I'm handling it okay. Just depressing watching my DH be able to lose. It will come sometime. I just need to be patient!

[Marco]

I already push myself too hard, too far, too long and too often. I will generally hurt myself is someone pushes me. It doesn't take much for me to hit diminishing or even negative returns.

It sounds like you are doing the right things and you are improving your health. The scale can be a terrible measure of overall health.