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    Doctors can be insulting.

    I don't usually complain about doctors or people telling me I "look good", but this kind of insulted me a little.

    I saw my rheumy Friday for my osteoarthritis and fibro. We always bring up the MS since it seems to affect everything else. He told me I must have a relatively benign course of MS since I seem to be in pretty good shape. Ok.. I'm grateful that I am walking. But, he happened to see me on a somewhat good day. He isn't around for all the terrible. life-stopping days where I have constant pain, dizziness, fatigue etc etc.

    This is always the way when you go see a doctor for a regular appointment. You're always in better shape that day so the doctor questions if you even have a disease. My neuro ( is an idiot ) but she has taken me off the meds because they are not doing any good any more. She is not very good with MS, but she does recognize some things as being hopeless. I've actually been in denial for 14 years. But then those days hit when there is no doubt.

    I don't let the people around me get to me with their questions and suggestions. But when a doctor says something kind of insensitive it does bother me a little.
    Marti




    The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.

    #2
    Doctors, Family, Friends And Strangers. Unfortunately If We Don't Feel Well, Or At Least Me, I Won't Go To Doc Office. So They Don't See The Worse.

    We Are Our Only Advocates And We Have To Fight For What We Know Is Right.

    Sorry You Had To Go Through The Agony.

    Good Luck Next Time.

    Keep Looking Good!
    DIAGNOSED=2012
    ISSUES LONG BEFORE
    REBIF 1 YEAR

    Comment


      #3
      So while his observation was just that and also only a snapshot in time I'm not sure he meant to be insensitive. Although I'm not the most optimistic person there is some value in being positive and I would bet he thought he was being supportive especially since there isn't a darn thing he can do to really affect the course of this miserable disease anyway.

      If you consider what most physicians are used to seeing with regard to advanced MS the fact that you made it in to his office, were verbal and able to care for yourself despite the horrible symptoms you describe, is pretty positive, imo.
      He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
      Anonymous

      Comment


        #4
        Doctors can be very insulting.if one really is obnoxious I do my best to change. So far I have been very lucky. I had a doctor with a sort of abrasive personality and she would upset me a lot. She finally started tuning I to the fact that her manner was too heavy handed for me. She would catch herself when she saw me flinching and recoiling from her so she would approach me more gently.

        I think we need to communicate our feelings. If the doctor says, "you're too sensitive. Get another doctor", then it's time to move on.

        Comment


          #5
          Marti, I've come to believe that it's pretty important to feel comfortable with my doctor and confident that my doc is making wise decisions regarding my medical care. Sounds like you are feeling like your doc is both insensitive and an idiot. Those statements don't sound either comfortable of confident. Also, it sounds like your MS is no longer being treated. Unless you are sure you have progressed to SPMS, that concerns me.

          Is it time to look for a new doc?
          ~ Faith
          MSWorld Volunteer -- Moderator since JUN2012
          (now a Mimibug)

          Symptoms began in JAN02
          - Dx with RRMS in OCT03, following 21 months of limbo, ruling out lots of other dx, and some "probable stroke" and "probable CNS" dx for awhile.
          - In 2008, I was back in limbo briefly, then re-dx w/ MS: JUL08
          .

          - Betaseron NOV03-AUG08; Copaxone20 SEPT08-APR15; Copaxone40 APR15-present
          - Began receiving SSDI / LTD NOV08. Not employed. I volunteer in my church and community.

          Comment


            #6
            A little tough love

            I love my Neuro and sometimes he's a real jerk, I've walked out of his office on a few occasions irked by his comments. However when I sit and reflect on what he's told me I have to admit he's right. As crappy as I feel at times, I know it could be worse. Yes, I could use to lose a few pounds and menopause could be to blame for some of my symptoms.

            I also stop and try to remember that he is doing everything he can for me, which with MS isn't much, his frustration level is equal to mine.

            Peace,
            Anna

            Comment


              #7
              If you feel that your doctor disrespects you, just say to him/her " yeah, I am glad to stand upright right now! " I use that comment, always. I think that you will have to develop some thicker skin. I don't like to hear insensitive comments but it seems that it comes with the territory. Good luck

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by hobbit View Post
                I love my Neuro and sometimes he's a real jerk, I've walked out of his office on a few occasions irked by his comments. However when I sit and reflect on what he's told me I have to admit he's right. As crappy as I feel at times, I know it could be worse. Yes, I could use to lose a few pounds and menopause could be to blame for some of my symptoms.

                I also stop and try to remember that he is doing everything he can for me, which with MS isn't much, his frustration level is equal to mine.

                Peace,
                Anna
                I love your attitude! Very often when someone says something that irks me I also reflect on why it was so abrasive and more often than not there is something valuable in what they said.

                I am also so very thankful to the professionals who have devoted their life's work to a thankless, complicated disease like MS.
                He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
                Anonymous

                Comment


                  #9
                  Thanks all. I'm sure my rheumatologist was not meaning to be insensitive. But when they say things like that it makes me think that they are not trying hard enough to get to the root of our other problems. Maybe they don't realize how serious some of our other diseases can be and that they do affect everything else.

                  They see that we look pretty good ( at the time ) and figure we're just exaggerating or imagining some things. So the quality of our care is diminished a little.

                  As I said, I usually don't take these remarks to heart, but it does make me wonder if my doctors are making light of my other problems because they perceive my MS as being benign. I am grateful that I am still walking somewhat naturally and can take care of myself to a point. Cooking has become a problem. And getting into a shower is something I have to think long and hard about before I jump in. I'm sure you all understand what I'm saying.
                  Marti




                  The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Unfortunately, seeing is believing... The most attention I ever got from a doctor in my entire life was when I had a small welding burn on my finger that got infected! I'm not joking either, a wound the size of a dime with in minor infection, I went to ER to get some anti-biotics & I had a Dr. & intern spend 45mins with me & request a follow up appointment as well, they recommended I attend their burn clinic! The same hospital has literally kicked me out for MS relate symptoms that were far more serious!

                    I personally reached a breaking point a few years ago & I just don't go to Dr.'s of any kind unless I have absolutely no choice. I'm sick of have Dr .'s discrediting everything I say or telling me I have to focus my visit on just one or two symptoms. I have hundreds of symptoms & many are connected so it is almost pointless to only talk about one or two!

                    Comment


                      #11
                      You didn't say, Marti. Are you comfortable staying with this doc, or is it time to look for another?
                      ~ Faith
                      MSWorld Volunteer -- Moderator since JUN2012
                      (now a Mimibug)

                      Symptoms began in JAN02
                      - Dx with RRMS in OCT03, following 21 months of limbo, ruling out lots of other dx, and some "probable stroke" and "probable CNS" dx for awhile.
                      - In 2008, I was back in limbo briefly, then re-dx w/ MS: JUL08
                      .

                      - Betaseron NOV03-AUG08; Copaxone20 SEPT08-APR15; Copaxone40 APR15-present
                      - Began receiving SSDI / LTD NOV08. Not employed. I volunteer in my church and community.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by marti View Post

                        They see that we look pretty good ( at the time ) and figure we're just exaggerating or imagining some things. So the quality of our care is diminished a little.
                        Believe it or not, you're speaking to something that strikes me very closely. I still look "fine" even to docs - if you don't see me when I'm at all tired or on a bad day (which of course is what happens by the time I make it to the office). I've had four years of all my symptoms being written off as anxiety. I'm finally learning that I don't talk about symptoms in terms of a diagnosis - just "this is what is happening..." If I mention MS, suddenly they decide I'm anxiety driven... Wish it weren't the case, but I suspect it's the nature of the disease.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by Mamabug View Post
                          You didn't say, Marti. Are you comfortable staying with this doc, or is it time to look for another?



                          Mamabug I have an appointment with a new neuro in April. This one specialized in strokes and doesn't seem to be up on MS. My original post was based on my visit to my rheumatologist. He's a good doctor and I know he didn't mean anything but encouragement by what he said. Guess it just struck me at the time.
                          Marti




                          The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            OK. thanks for explaining that. Hope that your rheumie will think more before opening mouth in the future. I also hope that your new neuro will be more knowledgeable about MS than your current one. I ended up switching, after five years with a general neurologist, to an MS specialist, even though it meant driving three hours, one way, to my twice-annual appointments.
                            ~ Faith
                            MSWorld Volunteer -- Moderator since JUN2012
                            (now a Mimibug)

                            Symptoms began in JAN02
                            - Dx with RRMS in OCT03, following 21 months of limbo, ruling out lots of other dx, and some "probable stroke" and "probable CNS" dx for awhile.
                            - In 2008, I was back in limbo briefly, then re-dx w/ MS: JUL08
                            .

                            - Betaseron NOV03-AUG08; Copaxone20 SEPT08-APR15; Copaxone40 APR15-present
                            - Began receiving SSDI / LTD NOV08. Not employed. I volunteer in my church and community.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Originally posted by Mamabug View Post
                              OK. thanks for explaining that. Hope that your rheumie will think more before opening mouth in the future. I also hope that your new neuro will be more knowledgeable about MS than your current one. I ended up switching, after five years with a general neurologist, to an MS specialist, even though it meant driving three hours, one way, to my twice-annual appointments.
                              You and I are in the same general area. If I wanted to see a "real" doctor I'd have to go either to Kansas City or St Louis. Too much driving or riding for me. So in Springfield Mo we are locked in to mediocre doctors for the most part. It makes me crazy since this is a fairly big city with pretty good hospitals. Why can't all cities get the good doctors and the most recent treatments? I always read about the next, most efficient treatments etc or hear about them on the news. But we never see them here. Why is that??
                              Marti




                              The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.

                              Comment

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