Social exhaustion/fatigue

[marti]

Funny, I was going to start a new thread today on a somewhat similar subject - talking on the phone. I hate to talk to people on the phone anymore. I'd rather just do email or text. But I dislike social situations these days too.

My life now consists of my sitting on the couch all day in my bathrobe, surfing and/or watching TV. I don't want to go anywhere, I don't want to do anything, I don't want to see anyone. The highlight (and so far lowlight) each day is checking the SSA website to see if my SSDI claim is doing anything.

I anxiously await my DW coming home from work each day, and like seeing my son and his wife who usually come over for a visit on weekends, but that's it.

It's a miserable situation and I hate it. But not enough to change it I guess...

Oh man... I hate talking on the phone. My sister, who is 800 miles away, calls me almost every day. I love her, but I just don't have that much to say or enough energy to carry on a conversation some days. She is 11 years older than me in great health. She's even looking for a JOB! At 75 yrs old and weighing in at over 200 lbs. She's amazing. But, she just doesn't get how tiring it is to run for a ringing phone.

And I spend my days in my loose nightgown so avoid hurting my ribs etc with the HUG. I love watching old sitcom reruns and reading and just being quiet. I have several autoimmune diseases and a few others that are very painful. So it's a somewhat solitary life for me. I don't mind it.

[marti]

I find it too exhausting mentally and physically to go into stores and shop. I do go, but it is tiring and noisy. I used to love to shop, but unless I have a specific task and can pretty much stay in one department I get very tired.

With social situations it mostly fatigue and not being comfortable. Unless it's a very special situation I don't want to bother. I like cozy situations or family get togethers where I can find my space and enjoy it. I find it frustrating not to be able to join in. Trips, particularly long ones leave me stressed and exhausted.

I used to love to travel; not so much anymore.

Guess it's just the MS getting it's way.

Diane

I haven't been to a Mall in years. I have to absolutely force myself to drive 9 miles into town just to get a few groceries.

[Diamond57]

Diito on all of Dale76 replies

[DianeD]

About 'sucking the life out'

I admit I watch the news a lot. I'm not able to ignore the things happening; those things impact our lives. We should at least know about them.

I think you have every right to filter out those who make you uncomfortable, but don't be so critical.

The news today is pretty scary; we aren't all that insulated from what is happening and some people want to discuss it. Since you are ex-military people probably see you as a good source of information, by way of your experience. However, as I said before, it is your right to seek your own peace and quiet.

I have found some people who irritate me because they go on and on without taking a breathe or who are so irrational I don't know what to say. So I can relate to what you say.

I'm thinking that people who want to discuss the news and current events find a blog site that suits them, or find a group that is involved with solving some of our life issues. If a person can't get out to meet with a group, the blog sites can be a good place to share ideas. I think the news gives us a lot to be concerned about and it's hard to do nothing. So I suggest to others who don't have a good forum in which to speak, to write your congressmen and other folks who can make a difference. It's good to get this stuff out in the open, to allow yourself some form of self expression.

Everyone is different and we need to explore to find out who we fit in with and would like to share ideas.

Diane

[Tawanda]

Funny, I was going to start a new thread today on a somewhat similar subject - talking on the phone. I hate to talk to people on the phone anymore. I'd rather just do email or text. But I dislike social situations these days too.

My life now consists of my sitting on the couch all day in my bathrobe, surfing and/or watching TV. I don't want to go anywhere, I don't want to do anything, I don't want to see anyone. The highlight (and so far lowlight) each day is checking the SSA website to see if my SSDI claim is doing anything.

I anxiously await my DW coming home from work each day, and like seeing my son and his wife who usually come over for a visit on weekends, but that's it.

It's a miserable situation and I hate it. But not enough to change it I guess...

Hey Dale,
I am thinking that you will feel a bit more lively when the SSDI checks come in. These are not like the checks of a working person, but they are something, and much better than nothing. Hard to get jazzed about getting out when you have a cashflow issue. Now go get dressed, put the remote down a go outside for a spell!

[Tawanda]

My nightgown - my friend

And I spend my days in my loose nightgown

If it weren't for my husband coming home for lunch, I'd do the same thing. I try to throw something else on because I hate that judgmental look! Granted, there are 10 thousand rips in the thing and it is paper thin, but I have gone so far as to bring this rag to the dry cleaners for repairs (to the reception of yet more judgmental looks). I have turned into that weird old lady who has no qualms whatsoever about going outside to get the mail or meandering about he backyard while wearing the scuzzy thing. Hey, at least I wash it (on delicate, of course, or it would go down the washing machine hose along with the suds)!

[SEAMSGUY]

Hey Dale,
I am thinking that you will feel a bit more lively when the SSDI checks come in. These are not like the checks of a working person, but they are something, and much better than nothing. Hard to get jazzed about getting out when you have a cashflow issue. Now go get dressed, put the remote down a go outside for a spell!

Very true Tawanda. Thanks for the little tap to get me thinking about getting going

[Thinkimjob]

D'ya know, Katie, I think I kind of suck the life out of people, perky as I try to be.

I'd love to think I would be a better person than they are, if things were swapped, and I was well, and they were stuffed But I don't think I would have been.

[bosoxer]

Ditto.

I completely agree. Being w/ groups of people and enduring the constant noise and chatter completely wipes me out. Interacting w/ one or two people at a time is much easier for me.

[KatieAgain]

D'ya know, Katie, I think I kind of suck the life out of people, perky as I try to be.

I'd love to think I would be a better person than they are, if things were swapped, and I was well, and they were stuffed But I don't think I would have been.

Think, I don't think you suck the life out of anyone. Your sense of humor is too wonderful...even when things are bad. Everyone should be able to vent though and I find your posts absolutely delightful. You handle flares a lot better than I do!

People who suck the life out me try to engage me in constant debate about current issues, it's non-stop...and their opinion is the ONLY opinion authorized. It is depressing and exceptionally tiring. I don't have time for that. I have become exceptionally proficient at ignoring people I don't care for. I am not mean or rude, I don't talk bad about them, I just don't extend invitations to them for lunch or get-togethers. People can criticize me for that...so what? Who cares? It works for me by eliminating unnecessary stress.

You need to do what works for you and "bugger" to the rest. Not sure I said that right.

[Kittianne54]

My MS has progressed to the point where I can no longer drive, or walk. I can't even sit for very long without back support. At social events I need to be in a wheelchair.

I find that I'm anticipating, with dread, when I need to leave the house. I know I'll have to make that slow, painful walk, with the walker, out to the garage (then back again when I return home).

After about two hours, my husband will notice that I'm starting to nod off and he'll say it's time to go. This even happens when I have visitors (my kids). After awhile, i'm hoping they'll be leaving soon.

Right now, I'm worrying about my daughter's wedding in a few weeks. It's a whole weekend affair with the nail appt., followed by the rehearsal dinner. The next day is the hair appt, elaborate ceremony, large reception (over 200 ppl), 'after party' (which I can get out of!), followed by brunch the next morning!

I want her wedding to go smoothly, but I can't wait for it to be over with! My husband will be busy as the father of the bride, my sons are either in the wedding or have small kids in it, and my two daughters that help me get to the restroom, dress, etc. are both in the wedding.

My sister, sils or dils, will have to be recruited for help. I'm trying not to worry and just take things as they come, but it's not easy!

Sorry so long, I just had to unload my fears.

[Poppy7402]

I used to enjoy inviting people over for dinner or having friends over for coffee. Now, I just can't be bothered, even the thought of it is just too tiring. Everything just seems like such an effort. Even the kids have noticed the our meals are a lot plainer and we almost never have people over, and hence no one invites us over either.

I've also gone from being a really chatty, outgoing person to the person who listens quietly to what everyone else has to say as I just don't have the energy to waste on talking.

[SEAMSGUY]

My MS has progressed to the point where I can no longer drive, or walk. I can't even sit for very long without back support. At social events I need to be in a wheelchair.

I find that I'm anticipating, with dread, when I need to leave the house. I know I'll have to make that slow, painful walk, with the walker, out to the garage (then back again when I return home).

After about two hours, my husband will notice that I'm starting to nod off and he'll say it's time to go. This even happens when I have visitors (my kids). After awhile, i'm hoping they'll be leaving soon.

Right now, I'm worrying about my daughter's wedding in a few weeks. It's a whole weekend affair with the nail appt., followed by the rehearsal dinner. The next day is the hair appt, elaborate ceremony, large reception (over 200 ppl), 'after party' (which I can get out of!), followed by brunch the next morning!

I want her wedding to go smoothly, but I can't wait for it to be over with! My husband will be busy as the father of the bride, my sons are either in the wedding or have small kids in it, and my two daughters that help me get to the restroom, dress, etc. are both in the wedding.

My sister, sils or dils, will have to be recruited for help. I'm trying not to worry and just take things as they come, but it's not easy!

Sorry so long, I just had to unload my fears.

You are in my prayers, Kittianne. We're pullin' for you.

[Mermaid Susan]

D'ya know, Katie, I think I kind of suck the life out of people, perky as I try to be.

I'd love to think I would be a better person than they are, if things were swapped, and I was well, and they were stuffed But I don't think I would have been.

Thinkimjob,
To me, you are one of the most interesting posters on the boards. Stay strong. The reflective life has merit.

Stay lifted,
Mermaid

[Simply_Sarah]

Lost

I Understand. When I was working I should have stopped a year before the doctors made me, but I could not accept that this would be my life. I literally worked and slept for years. My only friends were at work and family. When work was no longer an option I found out very quick who was a friend and who wasn't. I tried to keep up with them but I couldn't and I got worse. Started having seizures and so I couldn't drive, that dwindled the friends even more. Trying to be the old me was too hard, it was killing me. So, I stopped. Depression hit hard. I have two friends now and my family and some days it is still raw and hard and in October I will have not worked for a year. My two friends and family had to me MS Sarah and realize that I am still me just not 90mph me. I will take 2 loyal friends who love me in my pjs and my family over having to wear myself out wearing a fake smile for anyone ever again. And as for shopping, when you don't waste energy people pleasing its amazing what you can do.