6 months... Frustrated and sad

[Tracy42]

Hello, I am reaching out to a family here who "gets it"'
I am Trying soooo hard to live a good life, my best life. To do more than exist. I am single, and I see myself shutting down. I keep fighting... reading, juicing, trying to maintain hope and gratitude for what I do have. But I am SOOO TIRED. My best friend was recently given 6 months to live. I was with him when the words spilled from the doctors mouth. Besides my own pain and denial, I really wanted to grab hold of those 6 months. I wanted to fulfill his life's dream, but it also made me to really want to LIVE.
I don't want to give my dreams, my 6 months, my life over to MS. BUT how??

How terrible is this... I wish I could hire a friend. Someone who could understand and help with coordination and brain power. Someone who could help with my hurdles and when I am really lonely and scared...hold my hand. Someone who could help coordinate a really good 6 month dream!

Gosh it's so frustrating!
I think I am missing my self, missing my friend, feeling scared and lonely.

Thanks for listening... I'm needing virtual hugs

[KatieAgain]

I am so sorry to hear about your friend...

MS takes tolls on most of us. Physical,Emotional, and Spiritual.

JulesA started a great thread here not too long ago called The Bucket List or something.

Coincidently...I did start a bucket list when I got DX. I have now been through several. In fact, I'm crossing off an item on my current bucket list by returning to Europe for a vacation in the Fall.

Start a bucket list....

And these are from me to you (((((HUGS)))))

[KitOP]

Hi Tracy, It is hard isn't it? I know what it's like to have a close friend hear those words. It's like it's happening to you too.

But MS is not the end! A lot of people live pretty normal lives with it. Are you on one of the DMDs? Have you talked to your neuro about the fatigue? There are treatments for that as well.

Life is for living, whether you have MS or not. Look to see if there is a support group where you live. Maybe find things to occupy your time, like volunteering.

Reach out to people, I've found that they just don't come knocking at your door looking to be your friend.

But please know that you have found a virtual family here. People that will listen when you need to vent. We love to help in whatever way we can. "People Helping People", is what MSWorld is.

So consider yourself hugged! and if you are interested in coming into the chat room, there are plenty of caring people in there too that would love to chat with you any time that you want.

Here, have another hug, and chin up. You can do this!!!

[Tracy42]

Thank you

Thank you for responding! I can't think my way out of a paperbag today, and feel alone and sad and scared. I can't get the darn chat room to work. Thank you for hearing me.

Got the much needed hugs

[Seasha]

Hi Tracy~ I'm glad you reached out here and considered yourself ((Hugged)) by all who read your post, even though not everyone replies.

I am truly sorry about your friend! Like KitOP says, it's happening to you too. Just recently, my good friend and sil passed away - she was originally given 4-10 months, but lived only for 31 days. As hard as it was for me with my diminished energy level, I was with her almost every day. It seemed trivial compared to the battle she was facing.

I thought so much of my life while hers was ending. While it was devastating, it made me keenly aware of how precious life is - yes, even with MS. It made me want to hold dear to my own life and pass on her legacy of fighting to the end, of showing those around me how much they mean to me while they are still living.

I am sorry that you are so tired. Emotionally, this news must be zapping your energy. Please allow yourself to take moments to just sit back and be still~ take deep breaths and know that we are here for you!

And take those precious moments to be with your best friend.

[Tracy42]

Thank you seasha - your words are what my clogged brain is thinking. I can't event tell you. Thank you, thank you...