Is it time for reality check?

[sardi_g]

Correction: I was diagnosed at 42 but I started wondering years before that but again, I didn't push it although I went to a few doctors but I didn't get through to them.

[sardi_g]

Sorry to sound so ocd today but moderators: you took out an entire word even though I used asteriks so it wasn't profanity but you took it out anyway and I think it changed the meaning of what I was trying to say. Is there a consistent policy so we know what will be removed vs modified?

I was trying to use a slang for brave but by taking out the second word, that just leaves "bad" which has a much different connotation than what I meant.

[Marco]

I'm rereading this thread and I'm not liking what's coming out of my mouth. And my self-deprecating humor sounds like I'm being insulting to others, I'm so not.

I'm really fumbling through this whole process. But thanks so much for the responses.

I think you are doing a great job with this thread. Your honesty and willingness to consider your own personal limitations is refreshing. It is not easy opening your heart and life to let strangers pick it apart. Your post will undoubtedly help others in a similar position and provide wisdom long into the future. I also find you easy to relate to as you progress in the grieving process. Many of us are text book examples of the 5-step grieving cycle: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Most MSers are also familiar with our own process through the grieving cycle and hopefully will extend grace to you for any minor indiscretions.

MS certainly isn't a disease for the weak in heart or mind. MS has led me to question many things about life, people and myself. What I can now tell you is my life is not easier, but it is better in many ways. My wife and I love deeper and harder than before. It's easier to see the 'silver linings' when you actually look for them. It's easier to be compassionate towards others. It's easier to count our blessings and not take as many things for granted. I could go on and on, but I will spare you before the platitudes really start going. Again, I want to thank you for sharing with me (and us).

[sardi_g]

Thanks for that, really. It looks like sausage-making to me but it would be great if I wasn't the only one who could benefit. But that I certainly did. :-)