Hello to everyone...

[Lia]

My Name is Lia. I was diagnosed with RRMS on December 10, 2013. I am currently in remission. I am taking Tecifedera and have resumed regular activities such as work and social life. I am married and have a teenage daughter. I'm finally accepting my diagnosis and I intend to live a productive life despite this diagnosis. I'm still somewhat depressed but I'm trying my best to return to a happy state. Hopefully meeting new friends here will help me to achieve this major goal. Thanks in advance for your help and your words. Lia

[DebbieB]

Hi Lia, Welcome to MSWorld! Sorry you were recently diagnosed, but happy to hear you are in remission and on Tecfidera (I am too!).

I have found great support and tons of information on MSWorld and I hope you do too.

I look forward to your posts.

[Temagami]

I read somewhere that it takes 5 years on average to fully digest the diagnosis- so cut yourself some slack for allowing it to settle. You will find new normals that may change over time. Do check out the UK MS site, the Australian one, the US one and Terry Whals, George Jelinek and the Rocky Mountain MS Center.

[Lia]

thanks...

for your warm welcome and kind words. I can't imagine wasting ten years of a good life coming to terms with my newly diagnosed illness. I wasn't entirely surprised by the diagnosis because I had symptoms 4 years ago and an MRI showed 6 lesions, however, the neurologist at the time suspected MS but because I did not meet a the the criterion a diagnosis at that time was not given. Fortunately, I did not have any new symptoms until last October when I experienced double vision, fatigue, bladder dysfunction, back pain, and depression. I had enormous stressors in my life at that time: the year began with the death of my father from pancreatic cancer, ongoing problems with my teenage daughter and marital problems, work was stressful and then ended the year with symptoms of MS and my diagnosis. 2013 was the year from hell. 2014 has brought remission of MS, improving relations with my daughter and husband and medication to treat my MS. Things are looking up and I'm hoping for the best...

[MSbrother]

Your optimism is inspiring.

[Lia]

I try to stay positive and try to live a productive life despite disease damage mostly to my vision…had a prism put in new eyeglasses which was effective for about 2 months, but lately my vision is becoming blurred and my eyes hurt all the time.

I went to see my eye doctor who said there was nothing further she could do and I would have to make adjustments to my vision on my own. I have an appointment to see a neuro-opthamologist next month and hopefully he can offer some solutions to my ongoing vision problems.

I'm also very depressed at times and want to end my life. I'm tired all the time and each day is a struggle to get through. My family is giving up on me and going on with their lives without me. I guess my faith keeps me alive and my fighting spirit. I have a lifelong history of depression and was diagnosed Bipolar in 1998 having suffered for years. So now I have mental illness and multiple sclerosis…I refer to my life as M&M's.

It's difficult when you have been sick most of your life with mental illness and now to be sick with MS just isn't fair…I'm angry and often ask "why me?" "what did I do to deserve this?" and then I realize that these questions are futile and I'm wasting energy being angry about something that is beyond my control. I'm really sad right now and feel so alone in my struggle with all of this…goodnight friends.

** Moderator's note - Post broken into paragraphs for easier reading. Many people with MS have visual difficulties that prevent them from reading large blocks of print. **

[MarySunshine]

I'm sorry to hear you are suffering so much. It's amazing how much we take for granted the simple things in life until they are taken away...like eye sight.

Stay strong in your faith. God has His plan.....and if things get bad, there are a number of psychologists, etc who have experience with chronic illness. I went through 9 years of diagnosis, then undiagnosis and misdiagnosis to the point where I am still struggling to fight the denial of my recent "definite" diagnosis. My psychologist was a blessing. She has helped me focus on what matters.

We're only given challenges that we are strong enough to handle. He must think you are very strong to give you BPD and MS.

[Lia]

Thanks for your support MarySunshine...

I'm sorry to hear you are suffering so much. It's amazing how much we take for granted the simple things in life until they are taken away...like eye sight.

Stay strong in your faith. God has His plan.....and if things get bad, there are a number of psychologists, etc who have experience with chronic illness. I went through 9 years of diagnosis, then undiagnosis and misdiagnosis to the point where I am still struggling to fight the denial of my recent "definite" diagnosis. My psychologist was a blessing. She has helped me focus on what matters.

We're only given challenges that we are strong enough to handle. He must think you are very strong to give you BPD and MS.

Yes, it's my faith and strong belief in God and His greater plan for us which we are not aware of sometimes.

I want to appreciate every day the best I am able to but my symptoms keep me from doing so...currently I am unable to walk because of excruciating back pain, fatigue, bladder issues, and ongoing vision problems.

These, including my history of mental illness keep me away from the things I enjoy: church, socializing, my hobbies and work.

I do have a team of specialists I see on a regular basis including my family doctor, psychiatrist, neuro-psychiatrist, neurologist (x2) and natualpathic doctor.

I'm happy to hear that your psychologist was a blessing. I would like to visit with a psychologist as well but time and money is a issue but I'm going to try to make this happen.

Thanks so much for your kind words…they really mean a lot coming from someone who understands my pain...

[lavenderteawithme_33]

Welcome.....

You are very positive. Sorry for your loss, my uncle passed from the same cancer. Glad to hear your relationship with you family is better. You have been through a lot.

Keep in touch.

[Lia]

thanks so much lavenderteawithme...

Welcome.....

You are very positive. Sorry for your loss, my uncle passed from the same cancer. Glad to hear your relationship with you family is better. You have been through a lot.

Keep in touch.

I try so hard to remain positive…for me this has been a life long struggle because I suffered from depression since I was a child. Yes, losing my dad who was also my best friend, from cancer was really difficult. I took care of him throughout his 2 year battle as well as working…moving homes…raising a teenage daughter…working out a troubled marriage.

In hindsight, because I was relatively healthy during this period, I ignored the mild symptoms of MS I was experiencing all along which were sporadic and short-lived.

Experiencing a relapse last October that lasted until mid-January prevented me from working, driving, and put an incredible strain on my personal relationships which were already problematic.

Today, I'm determined to make myself as healthy as I can be and restore my relationships with my daughter and husband. They are the world to me…I cannot live without them.

I found since my diagnosis last December that family and friends will offer their support, but when you actually ask for it, they let you down. Disappointed, yet enlightened, I realized that in the end it's up to me to help me. I need to make the right choices, which sometimes may cause familial problems, but I need to remember that I have a chronic illness which needs a lot of attention.

Thank you for caring and for taking the time to respond to my concerns.

[txlaura]

I too have MS and was diagnosed with Bipolar afterward

It is hard to deal with both and I hear your struggles and can relate. I attend a Bipolar support group weekly and meet with a psychiatrist, especially for the times when I am depressed.

The group helps a lot even though they don't understand MS they get the mood swings and we talk about where we are at and our struggles. Also it is cheaper than individual therapy.

You sound like you are doing good at taking care of yourself and your positive attitude is inspiring to me. thank you for sharing.

[McCurdy]

Hello

Hello everybody. Just wanted to say stay strong and keep fighting and moving forward. I was dx in September of 2011. It was a quick dx. I was having horrible neuropathy in my arm. In the same wk my Neurologist did a EMG,MRI, and then a spinal tap to rule everything else out. Got started on IV steroids and Copaxone. About every 2 months i got a flair up along with more steriods. They said it took the Copaxone about a year plus to go into full effect which sucked. Mainly because i was getting more lesions and the Copaxone was given me severe side effects. About a year later my city dr and local dr decided to switch me to Avonex. At that time i devloped Osteonecrosis in my left hip b/c of getting all the IV steriods. So then back on 9/24/13 i got a total hip replacement. Since i been on the Avonex i have not needed steroids or had a flair up until now.

Thank You, Get back to me with any questions.

[Temagami]

Interesting- my Dad also had pancreatic cancer. I wonder b/c there has been some research that sees some crossover between diabetes and MS. I was the sibling on the scene to help out every day- it was hard to see him decline, but I do not regret the time I spent with him.

Without a gaping flesh wound, people don´t? can´t? see the disease.

I am avoiding sugar like the plague and it helps with decreasing paresthesia- a lot.

I hope things improve for you in the near future.

[Lia]

thanks so much txlaura...

It is hard to deal with both and I hear your struggles and can relate. I attend a Bipolar support group weekly and meet with a psychiatrist, especially for the times when I am depressed.

The group helps a lot even though they don't understand MS they get the mood swings and we talk about where we are at and our struggles. Also it is cheaper than individual therapy.

You sound like you are doing good at taking care of yourself and your positive attitude is inspiring to me. thank you for sharing.

Thanks so much for taking the time to read and respond to my post. Sorry that you are suffering with both BiPolar Disorder and MS. It does make it easier to digest when you communicate with people with similar experiences.

I try to remain positive but believe me this is a struggle for me daily. There are many moments when I want to give up and just shut the world out…but I find when I do this my problems get worse…missed work…problems with personal relationships…missed meals…forget meds…insomnia…see where I'm going…it becomes a vicious cycle.

Group therapy I found was successful for me in the past but I also found psychotherapy very helpful…individual therapy is also very helpful because there are some things you just are not able to share in a group despite the open atmosphere.

I'm happy to know that I'm an inspiration to you and if you need any advice on Bipolar Disorder…I'm an expert because I lived it most of my life and I am 49 years old. I was hospitalized, attended out-patient programs, had behavioural and cognitive therapy, and psychoanalysis. I also had a supportive family and a strong faith in God. I read almost everything written on the illness and if you wish I can recommend many good and helpful books which changed my life.

With respect to MS I only was diagnosed last December and have much too learn about the illness. I am going to the MS Clinic at a downtown hospital and this will allow me to live a productive life. I will be with visited by neurologists and all other professionals who specialize with MS. Just like my mental illness I want to know everything about MS.

Stay well and remember "Never Lose Hope!"

[Lia]

thanks Temagami...

Interesting- my Dad also had pancreatic cancer. I wonder b/c there has been some research that sees some crossover between diabetes and MS. I was the sibling on the scene to help out every day- it was hard to see him decline, but I do not regret the time I spent with him.

Without a gaping flesh wound, people don´t? can´t? see the disease.

I am avoiding sugar like the plague and it helps with decreasing paresthesia- a lot.

I hope things improve for you in the near future.

Thanks so much for your supportive words and I'm happy to know that you don't have any regrets after your father's passing. The only comforting thing about cancer is that sometimes we have a chance to make things right before you say goodbye forever in this world.

Maybe there is a connection with diabetes and MS…that would not surprise me. I also avoid sugars but mostly because I actually don't like them. Before my diagnosis of MS I ate relatively healthy being a vegetarian most of my life. I really don't think diet has much to do with the onset and progression of the disease. I honestly believe it is caused by a viral attack.

Approxiately 5 years ago I was very sick with a high fever and thought I was going to die. Thank God I recovered but after that my health start to deteriorate and my first symptom of MS surfaced which was left face numbness. A neurologist, MRI (lesions visible), and lack of other symptoms were not enough to diagnosis MS at the time. I was relatively stable for about 3.5 years until I had my second (???) episode last October which included double vision, fatigue, bladder problems, weakness in my limbs, back pain, and depression (including memory and concentration).

I think I'm in partial remission now but I don't now for certain because I still have some residual symptoms. Having both bipolar disorder and mild MS…I look physically fine to others but most of my pain now is not so visible like a gashing wound as you say.

Thanks for your kind words and I hope you feel better as you read this. Know I'm available to talk if you need someone to talk to and share your story with…God bless.