shopping difficulty

[Holly Golightly]

Hi. I am wondering if anyone has any useful advice for me. I walk with a cane but my balance issues make it impossible for me to use a wheeled shopping cart at the grocery store or Target. I also have recently begun having significant difficulty carrying the hand baskets that stores provide in lieu of a cart, so I've been using a mesh market tote to collect items and carry them to the checkout counter. I've asked Guest Services if I was allowed to do this and was told that I most certainly was. However, the last few times I've done this, I've been treated with hostility from other shoppers (or perhaps undercover store employees) as if they believe I am shoplifting. One creepy man even followed me throughout the store watching my every move - I was afraid he was going to make a citizens arrest right there in the toilet paper aisle. I realize that I cannot actually be arrested for stealing unless I attempt to leave the store with unpaid merchandise, but the humiliating treatment while I am still in the store by would-be vigilantes is very upsetting to me.

Does anyone have any advice how I can make my shopping experience pleasant again, while still remaining independent and not having a friend or store employee carry my items for me?

Thanks very much for your thoughts!

Holly

[Seasha]

Hi Holly~ Sorry you had this experience. I'm sure you ruined that creepy man's day when he watched you go to check out. I often wonder if those kind of people lead such desperate lives that they have nothing better to do!

If you could just try to turn a blind eye to what others see or think, that would be best, imo. That said, it's not easy, I know.

I just got back from shopping when I read your post. Depending on the size of the store, I always go for the motorized carts that are available in the entryways. I know
Target has one. Does your grocery store have them too?

It takes so much energy to shop anyway, but these carts are a breeze and one way that I can keep my independence. there is a learning curve however. The first time I used one, I was running into everything

Hope others have some helpful suggestions.
Take care and here's to better shopping experiences !

[Marco]

Hi Holly! It's unfortunate that some people assume the worst. Being home bound, there is a certain amount of freedom I get from shopping. I now do all of my shopping from a store provided scooter or my own wheelchair. I sometimes use a cane to knock products off the shelf and then catch them. There are times when people are surly, but they usually see I am doing what I need to do.

If you "don't look sick" then people assume you are taking a short cut or just too lazy you won't use a cart or hand basket. I now wear a disabled baseball hat and that gives people more information about me -- then tend to treat me a bit better. Just yesterday I was tempted to create a t-shirt that reads

I have MS.
What is
YOUR PROBLEM?

Once cooler heads prevailed I ditched the plan, but I can go back to that place really quickly. People don't know what you are going through or how you are struggling so they make assumptions based on their own limited (and often ignorant) experience. I really hope you figure things out so you can enjoy shopping again -or- at least in peace.

[Thinkimjob]

Shopping trolleys are the only thing that keeps me upright in a supermarket. I have started to steer at a strange angle, though.

None of the shops in this town are big enough to offer shopping scooters. I always accept help now when people offer to carry my bags to the car. This was hard to do the first few times. Not any more. I'll even ask if it's not offered. Yay, me.

Don't worry about weird people stalking you round the shop in the hope they'll see you suddenly stuff a 48 pack of toilet paper up your jumper and run from the building.

Ignore them, or if you're feeling perky, go with Marco's "I have MS; what's your problem?"

[DebbieB]

Holly, so sorry that happened to you...I'm sure it was a wanna-be-cop just waiting to take you down. lol

As much as I love getting out, there's some times I just can't, and utilize the delivery services that some grocery stores are offering now. Giant & Safeway. Cost is a little more than if you were in the store looking for good deals, but it'll do in a pinch. You do have to plan ahead (at least 24 hours), and can schedule the delivery within 2-4 hour windows.

Good luck!

[kelm10]

repeat

If it was an undercover employee they will learn who you are and not follow you. Maybe the store just needs reminded when you come in, so that they can tell who ever is under cover.

If it is not and just a person following you, then let them follow you and get their entertainment for the day, when you get into the check out line.

If you can walk with the mesh bag without difficulty with your cane, then keep it up with your independence. But, if you are having difficulty, that may be why someone is following you in the store to make sure that you don't fall. That would be me that would do that. If that is the case maybe consider the scooter.

Try not to let what others do, bother you. Maybe strike up a conversation of someone that is following you. It would let them know that you are aware of them.

[KatieAgain]

It sounds like you were being followed by an in-store security person. I would have gone to Customer Service and asked for a Manager. If it was a security person the store probably would have given you some recompense for it. If not...Mr Creepy would have been sent packing.

If you are still walking fairly well and it is the weight of the Shopping Cart that is throwing you off, you might want to get a Rollater. They look just like a Walker, except it has four wheels. I have one that I use for flares. It has a shopping basket on it and a seat that I can use to sit down if I get tired. I even use it in the house to do laundry!

[tortis]

Hi, I would and I have actually confronted the person that is following me and asked them right straight out why they were following me as I think that can be considered stalking. I am not quiet about it either and I make sure the store knows that I do not like it and I make sure that he really is a store employee because if they have a problem with you they should talk to you right away. I was a retail manager for many years and we would never do that.

PEACE

Tortis

[Zuzus11z]

Sorry you had to go through that.

Personally I would have addressed the person following me in conversation...maybe not to the point where I tell them that I have MS (maybe) but enough to possibly make them grossly uncomfortable.

[Holly Golightly]

Thanks for your wonderful replies!

Normally I am not shy about confronting someone who oversteps my boundaries. I can duly put somebody in their place without half trying. If told by a stranger that I looked like a shoplifter, I'd probably tell them that they looked like a pedophile. I didn't feel safe confronting creepy guy though; I was genuinely frightened of him.

I agree with those of you who suggested I visit Customer Service. Doh! I suppose if I'd had my wits about me I'd have done that.

We have several grocery delivery services in the city where I live that I use regularly. I still somehow need to stop at Target on the way home several times a week. Poor planning I guess.

Thanks again, everyone!

[poppydarling]

What I do now is carry my cell phone with me, with the web page of the store open (or put them in my contacts list). If I have trouble anywhere in the store, I whip out that phone and call and ask to speak to a manager. I love their surprise when they find out I'm calling from within the store I have them come find me in whatever section I find myself -- at these big box stores it can take them a bit to walk over! but they post signs that disabled shoppers are welcome and should ask for help, and I sure do.