And I turn back here to get support

[fishead]

I am saddened. I was awakened by a phone call last night (4 hrs ago) and informed that a close uncle killed himself. I haven't posted here in some time, but don't know where to turn to express my feelings, so I am here on MSWorld, asking for all of your prayers for his wife, 2 daughers (adults now), granddaughters, his sister AND my father (he is my uncles younger brother-they were close).

We are not a "large family", and we all are ones who "hold their cards close to the vest". This is really going to effect us hard, I fear.

I have also thought hard about suicide, tonight. I have thought of suicide in the past (had a fail-safe plan), but this is making me feel different things about it. I am torn, because, while I know God is forgiving, I have this tiny tiny worry that suicide may prevent one from entering heaven.

Please feel free to post ANYTHING you want. I am simply "reaching out" to people who may understand and offer their advice on how to cope. I find that my MS is already flaring.

Thank you in advance.

[mercadies25]

Hugs to you and your family.

So sorry for your lost and how it happen. I think that in some way we MSers can understand why, but it is still so hard on the family.

Stay strong we will keep the prayer going.

[pennstater]

I am so sorry for your loss. I am sure many prayers will be said for you and your family.

Suicide is always hardest on the family and friends left behind. I would never judge anyone who felt that was their only option, but you do need to think about those left behind wondering why or what they could have done, as your family is now dealing with these difficult challenges.

If you are thinking about it, please make sure you seek help first, there may be other options.

[KatieAgain]

Hey Fishead

I am sorry about your Uncle. I truly am. It is always sad to lose someone you are close to.

In regards to Suicide and Heaven? Not sure what God you worship, but my God is very forgiving and understanding. And if someone decides to check out of this life a little early, the Pearly Gates are going to be wide open for them. And I am of the opinion that your Uncle has already stepped through those gates and that whatever burden he had has been lifted.

So, Darlin', right now you have an Angel smiling down upon you from Heaven and the very last thing he would want is for you to go in a Flare.

Again, I am sorry for your loss.

[Cat Mom]

I don't have any words of wisdom, just wanted to say I'm so sorry for the loss of your dear Uncle. He must have been in so much pain to take this drastic step.

My older sister has been suicidal almost her whole life, she just turned 60. Other than my kids (and hubby's family), we are the only people left in our family. No parents, Aunts, Uncles... a few long distance cousins. She always said that the only thing stopping her is leaving me with the fallout. As our family shrinks due to natural deaths at ripe old ages, she means more and more to me and I appreciate her "staying".

I remember having an argument with her 25 years ago when a cousin hung himself at 18 years old. I was angry at him for doing this to his Mom, my sister felt bad as he really was troubled and constantly in pain. I do understand her side a lot more now, especially knowing that the #1 cause of death in MS patients is suicide.

I pray for all of you, especially your dear Dad, and hope that you can heal in time. Please don't fear reaching out to a crisis centre or team while this is fresh and stinging. Please keep us posted, you are all in my heart.

Jen

[KitOP]

Dear Fishead,

Please accept my deepest sympathies for yourself and your family.

It is so hard to lose a loved one under any circumstances, but I think is especially hard when they choose to take their own life.

I have been through this many years ago. Needless to say, it is a shock and it seems to hit deep into your own soul. But somewhere deep down inside, we find the strength to carry on with our own lives. Your uncle would have wanted that I'm sure.

Sometimes we know why they have made this choice, sometimes we don't. But your uncle loved you and he loved his family. And you will always love him.

His spirit will live on forever. I have no doubts either that for those who choose this path, they are welcomed into Heaven, all sins forgiven. No more pain, no more conflict.

Sending a hug your way.

[JerryD]

fishead,
My sympathies and prayers to you and yours. Not much more I can say.

[grace4et]

god loves you fishead and wants you to live a good life! we love you too!

[Seasha]

Sending love and prayers to you, Fishead, and to your entire family during this most difficult time. God is most merciful and loving and know that your uncle is in Heaven.

Please check with us often while you are troubled. Your MS Family loves you and will be by your side.

Hugs to you dear ~
Seasha

[Tawanda]

I am torn, because, while I know God is forgiving, I have this tiny tiny worry that suicide may prevent one from entering heaven.

This really resonated with me. Were you raised in the Catholic faith? if so, I know how hard this thought is to shake and am also looking to hear what others have to say...

My family is small, too, and shrinking rapidly. Each member is so very valuable. I lost my favorite aunt right before Christmas, but she was very old and lived a charmed life until the very end. I am in mourning, yet if you lose someone close to suicide, you more than mourn. You ask why. You wonder if there was something you missed and wonder if there was something you could have done. That is to be expected. Because you have MS, I worry that this stress is going to be worse for your physical health than your healthy family members. It will have to be about focussing on the living from now on. The past can't be changed so PLEASE be kind to yourself.

I have attended bereavement groups in the past with great success. Sometimes even one visit is helpful. Mourning is very individualized. So sorry for you and your extended family. (((Fishhead)))

[Justsayyes]

It is so difficult to make sense of tragedy. May you and your family find comfort, peace, and understanding. I am often afraid to reach out to others during such times, but am always glad when I have the courage to do so.

My advise is to reach out and join together with someone. Don't be afraid to talk about it. You will be surprised by how many have been touched by suicide.

The young man I knew who ended his life is often on our minds 5 years later. The pain he endured in his daily life is something we can't understand, but we do believe he is at peace and in a heavenly place.

[REG53]

I am so sorry for your loss.
I will be praying for you and your family.

[SNOOPY]

I am very sorry, fishead

My deepest sympathies to you and your family

[bree2013]

So sorry for what you're enduring Fishead. My deepest sympathies to you and your family. Please try to take extra care of yourself at this time -- your Uncle would want you to be well and in a good place.

Bree

[fishead]

I do so love my MS Family

Thank you EVERYONE from the deepest part of my heart.

I need to clarify something. While I HAVE considered suicide in the past, I am NOT considering it at the moment. The reason I am thinking about it, is that I discovered that, although I always said I had no doubt that God would take me into heaven if I would do it, I have learned (through my uncles suicide) that I obviously DO have my doubts. I prayed over and over last night, that God forgive him and take him into his kingdom.

{Tawanda, to answer your question-I am Lutheran, not Catholic.}

THANK YOU everyone for your kindness!