rudeness of the highest order

[GardeningMSer]

I've been aware for a while now that those of us using wheelchairs and scooters are far too often considered less than human; today I got another example.

I was in the library, sitting on my scooter looking at shelved books and a 60 something large male comes over, reaches over my head to grab a book.

I was ***! This was an incredible invasion of my space! If my scooter had a reverse mode (it is a Travelscoot, very light, no reverse) I would have run him over.

Does anyone think he would have done this if I were on my feet and looking at a book!

AAARRRGH!

[Temagami]

Yes, I do think it likely heŽd reach over your head even if you were standing. Courtesy has gone out the window.

DoesnŽt make your example any better though.

[Jules A]

To be perfectly honest if I saw the book I wanted and someone was significantly shorter than me or in a chair rather than wait for them to finish browsing or ask them to move I would also likely reach over top and grab it without any intention of offending.

[misslux]

IMHO, rude no matter what. It only takes a couple seconds to say "excuse me, could I grab that book?"

I have people who walk and stand WAY too close to me if I'm sitting on my rollator against a wall waiting or resting, sometimes standing in front of me only inches away. They don't do that to people standing.

[Thinkimjob]

I never realised, my dear misslux how quick this b'stard had got you. Hey ho. Gets us all in the end.

GardeningMSer, I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt. Yes, rude, yes, inconsiderate. The world is full of unpleasant people. There are many, many more good-hearted people out there. Don't worry too much about it.

[Cat Mom]

That IS rude! I"m sad to say that I'm not surprised though. A simple "Excuse me" would suffice.

Honestly, I believe common courtesy really needs to make a comeback.

Jen

[misslux]

I never realised, my dear misslux how quick this b'stard had got you. Hey ho. Gets us all in the end.

Good times I tell you.

[Jules A]

A simple "Excuse me" would suffice.

Good to know! Although it didn't occur to me that someone would feel I was being rude but of course I would say excuse me or make some other type of small talk.

[J-Bo]

Yes, rude. And it always seems like when people do stuff like that, they catch you off guard, at least that's what happens to me. I'm left spluttering, and then that night I think of all kinds of things I should have said.

[Thinkimjob]

It does hurt. I'm probably more sensitive these days.

Not looking for it, but noticing it more. I eye people off a bit if they seem inconsiderate. They really probably never think of it. Whereas me, clutching my shopping trolley (aka wheelie walker) I notice everything.

Get your child under control! Don't walk in front of me, can't you see I'm bloody stuffed?

[gomer]

Sorry to bust you pity party, we all need/do that sometimes.

Today my day started off on a less than pleasant note. However, I got out and about today a little, to gas the car and groceries. I was getting my scooter out and someone nearby in the parking lot asked if I need some help. At another store the checkout clerk asked if I need help getting my groceries to my car. Today I ran into at lest THREE extra nice people.

Ya..there are the bums out there, I even (figuratively) run into them. For every bum, I think I come across at least 2 or more nice people, though.

Being in a wheel-chair or riding a scooter etc, I think we tend to become more self conscious or critical of little things we would not even blink an eye at before.

Q? did the guy (or gal) that cut you off on the road to the library know, or cared, you were handicapped?

Those type of people do not care, whether on the road, grocery shopping or anywhere.

Gomer

[golfore]

Homer, I have to agree with you. I use a walker and find that folks are mostly very helpful.

I head out with a smile on my face and almost every door I come across opens "automatically".

[choco]

I do not think GardeningMSer is having a pity party in the least. If a person was standing in front of a book selection and another person came along and reached over to get a book and in the process stretched their arm inches from the face of that person standing, that would be considered downright rude. Why does it make it any different for someone sitting?

I generally have a high tolerance level but rudeness will cut straight through it.

Ever since joining the disabled brigade and using a scooter I have experienced this kind of rudeness - having said that rudeness has always been there, but I realise I am more sensitive to it now. That doesn't mean I am feeling sorry for myself whenI do, just annoyed at the blatent lack of respect.

By the way GardeningMSer, I have two stock answers when confronted with this kind of behaviour. One, "You're excxused" and two, "Am I invisible?"

[misslux]

I agree with choco and I don't think it is necessarily being over sensitive. It's all really just common courtesy. There are certain things you don't around people who have physical disabilities* because we fall into a vulnerable population group. Like it or not, it's true.

Things you DON'T do -- e.g., rushing past someone with a cane inches away, reaching over someone in a chair or scooter without announcing your presence, standing an inch away from someone "sitting" in a chair or scooter, etc.

Sure, there are lovely people who are helpful, but there are a lot who aren't.

*shouldn't be done with anyone really

[Seasha]

Things you DON'T do -- e.g., rushing past someone with a cane inches away, reaching over someone in a chair or scooter without announcing your presence, standing an inch away from someone "sitting" in a chair or scooter, etc.

Sure, there are lovely people who are helpful, but there are a lot who aren't.

*shouldn't be done with anyone really

Some time ago a rude thing that happened to me while shopping with my dd at the mall for a new phone for me. I asked all the questions, but the clerk only looked at my dd to answer. This went on for quite some time.

Hello!! I might be in a w/c but I can still hear, think, speak, etc.

I have had many great exchanges from wonderfully kind people, but all it takes is one bad experience to leave a bad taste in your mouth. GardenerMS, I'm sorry this happened to you - and to all of us that have had "rude people" exchanges. It takes a lot of patience to let it go~

I work at choosing this route.