Dear Mr. Monster,
We are writing to inform you that as of December 30, 2013 you are being charged with multiple counts of sexual harassment across the globe due to your repeated advances on both men and women and your constant desire to "hug" nearly everyone you come into contact with.
You have been warned repeatedly to cease in this manner. Due to your blatant disregard for the personal space of others; we are now prepared to seek damages against you.
Should you wish to discuss this matter before we formally file suit you can speak with our mediator at the following number:
The Closet Monster
1-800-BITE-ME
(I swear if that little bugger keeps this up it's going to get the closet monster and whatever that thing is that goes bump in the night unleashed upon it!)
We are writing to inform you that as of December 30, 2013 you are being charged with multiple counts of sexual harassment across the globe due to your repeated advances on both men and women and your constant desire to "hug" nearly everyone you come into contact with.
You have been warned repeatedly to cease in this manner. Due to your blatant disregard for the personal space of others; we are now prepared to seek damages against you.
Should you wish to discuss this matter before we formally file suit you can speak with our mediator at the following number:
The Closet Monster
1-800-BITE-ME
(I swear if that little bugger keeps this up it's going to get the closet monster and whatever that thing is that goes bump in the night unleashed upon it!)
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