Have you forgotten what life was like without MS?

[Marco]

I have not forgotten about life with MS, but I don’t spend time dwelling on it. My focus is on today and trying to make the best of it. Many of my long-term friends are lamenting the loss of function, ability or capacity and they don’t have MS. At times, I have described having MS as being “decades older” than your real age where physically and mentally you just don’t have the juice.

Lately, I am spending more time in a wheelchair and less time walking (rollator/cane), but the wheelchair is allowing me to go further than I could without it. There was a time when I ran a half-marathon in 1:13 minutes, but that was a lifetime ago. Some might consider me a “has been,” but that is better than a “never was.”

The movie “Hope Floats” was filmed close to my house. There was a line, “ You think life goes on forever? You think behind every chance there's another chance and another one and another one? It's the worse kind of extravagance the way you spend your chances.”

I hope to live my life taking advantage of what opportunities I still have and not regretting what should or could have been. At times, it's real tough and it would be easier to curl up in bed and forget the day existed. When I need encouragement I can look back at everything I've been through and realize with Grace today too will be conquered.

[Seasha]

Marco - "applause, applause" - great post, great thoughts!

[owlnona]

I've been DX almost 14yrs. & not a day goes by that I don't long just to be able to drive. I can cope w/not walking,needing help all the time,ect.if I could just drive.It's the feeling of total loss of independence. Oh! I can walk some,I use a Rollator around the house & wheelchair w/out. But to go anywhere,even just have my DD take me to Target,or the grocery,it's like planning the DDay invasion.Do I have my catheters,my meds,my clean "undies",my wheelchair.
But I shouldn't complain,I have a wonderful family,my youngest son,will call & say" Pack up Mom I'm taking you to lunch & a movie today."He & his wife are willing to do that w/out my asking.
But one thing this MonSter has showen me is who my true friends are!
God Bless Owlnona

[Lonilee]

Haven't forgotten never happen I'm a fighter

What a fantastic ques late from mid Atlantic
24 years of my disease only 41, pretty 3 kiddos I refuse to let it define me, my marriage is awful which bites but not ms fault, my kids are doing well not ms fault but me off balance no sports anymore jumping on trampoline that's ms but hell I am 41 trampolines r dangerous anyway but still rocking bathing suit take some lose some can't leave sucky marriage 2nd to depend on spouse that sucks but could be worse I suppose hang in there fellow friends we will overcome or at least come to my house for a party not to think about it 😋😛😃 Charlotte lonely sleepless in Seattle but never forget before at this pt I've had it longer than I haven't

[502E79]

"The time that was continnues to tick inside the time that is."
— Edurado Galeano

and

"... each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible."
—Viktor Frankl

and

"I hope to live my life taking advantage of what opportunities I still have and not regretting what should or could have been."
—Marco

All spoken eloquently, MS or not!

[lulu]

my old self

Sometimes I see pictures of myself at younger, pre-MS days and feel like yelling at myself to do all I can because the day is coming when I can't. Then I get sad. I do notice that once I get talking about my pre-ms days, I just keep going on and on and on. Then, I feel weird that I lived in the past for that time period. It is hard to look forward. The uncertainty is too much to think about so I try not to go there. I try not to go backward because I have come such a long way from my first episode. It is hard to live in the present because I feel like I am wasting my days. So....I keep telling myself, it will get better and try to stay positive. I guess that is all any of us can do. Good luck to us all.

[halleykempt]

I've had MS for about 18 years and my pre-MS life is becoming a distant memory.

I have never lived without MS. My theory is that I was born with MS or it developed after a virus when about 4years old. Looking back at my child hood there were times when my legs were is spasm and my mother would massage them. Had what was dx as a heat stroke. Sensitive to heat. Mood swings that was dx as "high strung." Migraines for 50 years. Appear to have gone into remission for years and symptoms appeared again in early 1980 with vertigo, numbness and balance problem with me falling flat on my face. Finally dx in 2010 after collapsing and I had been in a power chair since 2007. Suspected it but could not get doctor to listen. I am a 74 year old woman with heart failur and will not take any of the meds except Solu-medral during a flareup but will not take them ever again. Will ride them out as before dx.

[Sissy]

halleykempt, I have to agree with you! I am 64 and it took 20+ years to get a Dr to listen to me, it was all
"in my head "! NO DUH Sherlock!

I had 1 treatment of Solumedral and I begged to go home so much that I was home in 3 days. I fight through it now!

[Marie12]

forgot I CAN'T walk @ 2am this morning

I am not posting this to make U feel sorry for me. But I am posting this, because I don't want this to happen to any of U. This morning @ 2am I woke up because I need to use the toilet. This is common with me, every hour.
Well, we remodeled, and the toilet is five feet away from my bed. I do use my wheelchair 100% of the time, but can still stand.
So I got up, waited a few seconds to get my balance, and the next thing I know, I'm making a lot of noise. I had just fallen straight backward onto my back. I am thankful I don't have anything sharp around the house.

I am amazed that nothing is broken, slowly got back into my 'elevate head hospital bed,' And I knew if I'd get up, eat, then take some aspirin, I wouldn't hurt as much today. But I was too scared to try to arise again.

Unfortunately, I scared my husband. He came downstairs to see if I was ok. I'll b more careful. I do use my wheelchair all the time now, but it was 2am, and I forgot that I can't walk.

[misslux]

Marie, I am so glad you are okay!

[Moosette]

I miss my old self terribly and think how much better of a parent I would be if I could do things with my kids

I hear ya, I feel the same way and sometimes get extremely pissed off at MS for not only affecting me but for affecting my child and how it affects the way that I am able to interact with her. I hate that this is my new normal and sometimes when I look at pictures of myself pre-diagnosis I break down and cry because it reminds me of what a simpler time that was. I would give anything to have that back because as time continues to pass so do my memories of life before MS.

[ms man]

I have not forgotten about life with MS, but I don’t spend time dwelling on it. My focus is on today and trying to make the best of it. Many of my long-term friends are lamenting the loss of function, ability or capacity and they don’t have MS. At times, I have described having MS as being “decades older” than your real age where physically and mentally you just don’t have the juice.

Lately, I am spending more time in a wheelchair and less time walking (rollator/cane), but the wheelchair is allowing me to go further than I could without it. There was a time when I ran a half-marathon in 1:13 minutes, but that was a lifetime ago. Some might consider me a “has been,” but that is better than a “never was.”

The movie “Hope Floats” was filmed close to my house. There was a line, “ You think life goes on forever? You think behind every chance there's another chance and another one and another one? It's the worse kind of extravagance the way you spend your chances.”

I hope to live my life taking advantage of what opportunities I still have and not regretting what should or could have been. At times, it's real tough and it would be easier to curl up in bed and forget the day existed. When I need encouragement I can look back at everything I've been through and realize with Grace today too will be conquered.

It doesn't take MS to make one miserable.

[Hawkeye]

“Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been.” John Greenleaf Whittier

I remember my "former life," and I sincerely miss it.

I accept where I am today, though, and do my very best to adapt, carry on, and try to make a difference for people when I can...

[Thinkimjob]

Actually, I can't bear to think about it too much.

It's like any loss. Sometimes I'll let myself remember, and I always wind up crying, but the same thing happens when I think about people I loved who've died, or my old home on the farm.

I just don't let myself. Those are beautiful memories, but I keep them locked away, because otherwise my heart would break. Even writing about it has the tears flowing.

Hey ho. Loss is part of life, and we all find some way to cope.

[tommylee]

I've had MS for about 18 years and my pre-MS life is becoming a distant memory.

I still remember feeling good but it seems like a different life in a different place.
Almost like watching a movie of someone else. The memories are becoming more detached and distant.
I have had MS for about 20 years.