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Are you unsympathic at other peoples minor illness's?

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    #46
    Yikes.

    The way I look at it is....people have the right to feel the way they feel. When my husband had pneumonia a few months back he kept apologizing for complaining he felt bad. He said you are the last person I should complain to. I told him repeatedly that he has the right to feel the way he feels and just because I feel like poop everyday doesn't mean he has to apologize for feeling yucky. I think that some of you are being very cynical but hey...everyone being different makes the world go 'round.

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      #47
      Originally posted by lulu View Post
      The way I look at it is....people have the right to feel the way they feel. When my husband had pneumonia a few months back he kept apologizing for complaining he felt bad. He said you are the last person I should complain to. I told him repeatedly that he has the right to feel the way he feels and just because I feel like poop everyday doesn't mean he has to apologize for feeling yucky. I think that some of you are being very cynical but hey...everyone being different makes the world go 'round.
      I also think some of you need to actually take time to read the thread and understand it before posting.
      Suspected MS 1985. dx 1994 still RRMS EDSS 1.0

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        #48
        Originally posted by Jules A View Post
        I have often wondered if maybe some people just had a more sheltered life than I did.

        Even before MS I never had the luxury of being delicate or having someone else pick up my slack. We were expected to go to work or school and fulfill our obligations unless we were literally hucking up a lung.
        I agree a 100%. My daughters mother-in-law has no health issues but, does not work, can't do house work, can't go to any family functions etc.. her son has to take a day off of work to help her because she has a headache, backache, stuffy nose. I work, I mow the lawn, I go to all the family functions even if only for a 15 min. show of support. I was a manager of a bakery and one of my employees called in with a headache. I told her that if I called in ever time I had an ache of any sort she would never see me.
        We do because we have to. We can't give up. Yes, I feel like s%&t today but I will go to work. Make dinner and clean up after everyone.

        I don't feel sorry and usually I say yeah that sucks, want an aspirin?

        Have a great day everyone!
        DIAGNOSED=2012
        ISSUES LONG BEFORE
        REBIF 1 YEAR

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          #49
          Originally posted by mercadies25 View Post
          I agree a 100%. My daughters mother-in-law has no health issues but, does not work, can't do house work, can't go to any family functions etc.. her son has to take a day off of work to help her because she has a headache, backache, stuffy nose. I work, I mow the lawn, I go to all the family functions even if only for a 15 min. show of support. I was a manager of a bakery and one of my employees called in with a headache. I told her that if I called in ever time I had an ache of any sort she would never see me.
          We do because we have to. We can't give up. Yes, I feel like *** today but I will go to work. Make dinner and clean up after everyone.

          I don't feel sorry and usually I say yeah that sucks, want an aspirin?

          Have a great day everyone!

          I think you're being a bit cynical.
          Suspected MS 1985. dx 1994 still RRMS EDSS 1.0

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            #50
            You're right. Our condition has nothing to do with anyone else's experiences. and even if it did, it's not like we have it the worst in all the world. When you see little babies struggling to beat cancer and not complaining, it makes us MSers look like cry babies, doesn't it? So who are we to talk about other people being wimps, anyway, when you really think about it.

            Excellent point. Thank you for posting your thoughts.


            Originally posted by lulu View Post
            The way I look at it is....people have the right to feel the way they feel. When my husband had pneumonia a few months back he kept apologizing for complaining he felt bad. He said you are the last person I should complain to. I told him repeatedly that he has the right to feel the way he feels and just because I feel like poop everyday doesn't mean he has to apologize for feeling yucky. I think that some of you are being very cynical but hey...everyone being different makes the world go 'round.

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              #51
              Originally posted by MMMMS View Post
              You're right. Our condition has nothing to do with anyone else's experiences. and even if it did, it's not like we have it the worst in all the world. When you see little babies struggling to beat cancer and not complaining, it makes us MSers look like cry babies, doesn't it? So who are we to talk about other people being wimps, anyway, when you really think about it.

              Excellent point. Thank you for posting your thoughts.

              Please read the thread and stick to the topic. We have pointed out over and over again what this is about. Not who hurts worse. Sorry but your comments are offensive.
              Suspected MS 1985. dx 1994 still RRMS EDSS 1.0

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                #52
                Originally posted by Katje View Post
                Please read the thread and stick to the topic. We have pointed out over and over again what this is about. Not who hurts worse. Sorry but your comments are offensive.
                You asked if we are unsympathetic to other people who have minor complaints. She gave a fantastic answer that really made me think. I said as much.

                Now if I ever become intolerant of other's less serious illnesses, it will help to remember lulu's post. My condition doesn't invalidate anyone else's feelings about a temporary illness.

                And more, when I feel intolerant, I will remember that there are those who have it worse and who don't complain.

                You original post has made us all think. That's a good thing!

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                  #53
                  Originally posted by MMMMS View Post
                  You asked if we are unsympathetic to other people who have minor complaints. She gave a fantastic answer that really made me think. I said as much.

                  Now if I ever become intolerant of other's less serious illnesses, it will help to remember lulu's post. My condition doesn't invalidate anyone else's feelings about a temporary illness.

                  And more, when I feel intolerant, I will remember that there are those who have it worse and who don't complain.

                  You original post has made us all think. That's a good thing!

                  We were talking about healthy people, who just can't seem to function if they dont get enough sleep, a cold etc.... I know we have al seen this in people who simply can't function.

                  My husbands father has liver cancer, walks with a walker because he is weak, stomach distended but of water and he has it drained. he has been hospitalized many times.

                  He is dying. He woke up one night at 3am, asked his wife to take him to the ER because he didn't feel right, thought he was dying. She complained to him she only had 3 hours of sleep and told him that he has cancer and it's perfectly normal to feel sick. She went back to bed because she needed sleep.

                  He took a cab to the ER. His ammonia levels were high and he was admitted. His wife made it to the hospital at 11:30am, she need her sleep you know and angry at my husband because he wasn't there all morning with his dad.

                  This is not about ohh we have MS we suffer so much greatly than everyone else. This is about people who just can't function when they get a hang nail, yet people who are chronically ill seem to trudge alone in spite of the aches and pains and other obstacles we have in life.

                  **Let's try to keep this thread on topic so everyone can benefit from it.**

                  So please again, read the thread for once and keep on top of what we are discussing before getting on your high horse.
                  Suspected MS 1985. dx 1994 still RRMS EDSS 1.0

                  Comment


                    #54
                    Originally posted by Katje View Post
                    He is dying. He woke up one night at 3am, asked his wife to take him to the ER because he didn't feel right, thought he was dying. She complained to him she only had 3 hours of sleep and told him that he has cancer and it's perfectly normal to feel sick. She went back to bed because she needed sleep.


                    .
                    Holy crap! That is awful. Your poor FIL
                    Aitch - Writer, historian, wondermom. First symptoms in my teens, DX'd in my twenties, disabled in my thirties. Still the luckiest girl in the world.

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                      #55
                      Originally posted by aitch10 View Post
                      Holy crap! That is awful. Your poor FIL

                      He also fell on the floor coming out the bathroom and laid there for 2 hours, she didn't hear him yell once. They live in a small apartment, not like he was in the west wing on his way back to bed.
                      Suspected MS 1985. dx 1994 still RRMS EDSS 1.0

                      Comment


                        #56
                        I think that your post has made us all think. Lulu mentioned her husband's bout of flu - perfectly on topic.

                        I've learned to be more empathetic toward others from Lulus post and from others, too.

                        It's not about what we have and if others have it worse or better. It's about how we behave as charitable humamn beings.

                        I get that you wanted to rant about the people you know and don't like, and wondered if others feel the same about wimpy people. But it seems that your original question has outgrown it's original, narrower scope and has helped people in ways you couldn't have imagined when you posted. That's the beauty of a forum. It's great!

                        People who won't even call the rescue for her husband? Yeah, that's appalling. It's black and white. But you did mention people with minor or temporary complaints too, and that's what most people have focused on, probably because that is the gray area. Your question has helped us think more clearly on the gray area. Thank ou for that!

                        I'm not on a high horse. I'm trying to thank you for starting this thread. It's one of the most helpful I've read!

                        Originally posted by Katje View Post
                        We were talking about healthy people, who just can't seem to function if they dont get enough sleep, a cold etc.... I know we have al seen this in people who simply can't function.

                        My husbands father has liver cancer, walks with a walker because he is weak, stomach distended but of water and he has it drained. he has been hospitalized many times.

                        He is dying. He woke up one night at 3am, asked his wife to take him to the ER because he didn't feel right, thought he was dying. She complained to him she only had 3 hours of sleep and told him that he has cancer and it's perfectly normal to feel sick. She went back to bed because she needed sleep.

                        He took a cab to the ER. His ammonia levels were high and he was admitted. His wife made it to the hospital at 11:30am, she need her sleep you know and angry at my husband because he wasn't there all morning with his dad.

                        This is not about ohh we have MS we suffer so much greatly than everyone else. This is about people who just can't function when they get a hang nail, yet people who are chronically ill seem to trudge alone in spite of the aches and pains and other obstacles we have in life.

                        **Let's try to keep this thread on topic so everyone can benefit from it.**

                        So please again, read the thread for once and keep on top of what we are discussing before getting on your high horse.

                        Comment


                          #57
                          Tea and sympathy

                          Yes I am unsympathetic with minor problems. I deal with the public and see repeat customers a lot. It's funny but some people are never happy and find SOMETHING to whine about. And yes, no joke, someone was whining about a hang nail the other day

                          "I often wonder what some of these people would do if they had something serious to deal with?"

                          This may sound nasty but I often play a game: how would so and so cope with MS. Not that I wish this on anyone, but when I hear someone whining about how they can't take their trip to England now because I just charged them $50, I have this little moment of reverie when I have this scene of the person dealing with MS running through my head.

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                            #58
                            Originally posted by MiSunderstood
                            I didnt see any offensive comments. Katje, I really wanted to post my thoughts on this thread because it's provocative and really got my attention but I don't want to get scolded if I dare to stray off topic.

                            And nobody wants to be scolded because we're apparently unsympathetic to people with pneumonia, cancer, big babies and being called cynical either. Considering that's not what we were talking about.
                            Suspected MS 1985. dx 1994 still RRMS EDSS 1.0

                            Comment


                              #59
                              And here is the reason people leave boards. I'm good with mods not approving this, though considering some posts that have been approved here, I would be surprised if it wasn't.

                              In a thread with varying opinions, it would be nice to see folks at least agree to disagree if they don't see others' point of view. Instead, it's a continual denial of opposing points of view with insults thrown at those posting them. We understand the topic, we just have a different answer to the question posed.

                              Mods, can we please have this thread closed? It's devolving into the kind of thread that turns people off posting.

                              Comment


                                #60
                                I've only been diagnosed with MS for about a year and half. In that time I've come to meet many strong people who have this disease. I was raised by parents who went to work everyday and never called in for a cold or any other minor illness. I had never called into work in my life until about a month ago when I woke up covered in a rash and with a fever of 103 - a reaction to my "newest" med for TN. I truly believe that the strongest people are given the chronic and severe illnesses We, for the most part, don't complain (unless to each other) and soldier on. You do what you have to and get up again tomorrow and do it again....
                                Julie
                                DX 11/9/11
                                Rebif Therapy 12/13/11

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