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Are you unsympathic at other peoples minor illness's?

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    #31
    I guess I'm one of the rare ones, but I've actually always been interested in issues related to health/medicine and especially physical functioning and athletic performance, so I love to listen to people talk about their issues and learn about things I don't know about the body and how it works/doesn't work. It's one reason I come here to MSWorld!

    On the side, I'm a yoga teacher and listening to people and learning how they live in and work with their bodies helps me do that better.

    Do I sometimes think people are being drama queens or lazy? Sure, but having MS has actually made me more compassionate to what people might be going through that I don't see or can't understand.

    (And anyone who cancels an engagement because of a minor health issue like a runny nose didn't want to go in the first place. They were just too polite/passive/conflict averse to tell you!)

    Very few people know I have MS. And I agree with Katie, I would never talk about it at the office (and have not disclosed there).

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      #32
      Actually, being someone who has had MS about 25 years, now requires a wheelchair or scooter to get out and about, there is a fair amount of complaining here on MS World that is pretty lame.

      One of the lessons this disease teaches you over the years is there is always someone here much worse off than you that would love to only have your symptoms.

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        #33
        Originally posted by knuckle View Post
        Actually, being someone who has had MS about 25 years, now requires a wheelchair or scooter to get out and about, there is a fair amount of complaining here on MS World that is pretty lame.

        One of the lessons this disease teaches you over the years is there is always someone here much worse off than you that would love to only have your symptoms.

        right ... off topic.
        Suspected MS 1985. dx 1994 still RRMS EDSS 1.0

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          #34
          I just got done reading a bunch of posts in this forum and I was overcome with sadness and but also impressed with inner strength I see in so many of the people here.

          Maybe my expectations of people who are considered "healthy" are too high and maybe a little unfair. Bit I just can't help myself expecting more from people who are not chronically ill.
          Suspected MS 1985. dx 1994 still RRMS EDSS 1.0

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            #35
            No, I'm not unsympathetic. It boils down to life experience. If person A's worst ever illness was a cold, then to them that is the worst thing ever. The same goes for person B's worst ever illness, which may be pneumonia. Does that make either person's experience invalid or give either less right to complain? I don't think so.

            If I was a friend of either one, I would be glad for them that that was their worst ever illness. That doesn't mean I want to hear them complaining all the time. I wouldn't want to hear them complain all day about the new carpet being the wrong shade of green, either.

            However, it doesn't give me more right to complain than them, nor does it give me more right to complain than someone else who has MS and might not have the same levels of disability or similar symptoms.

            Knuckle has a point...everyone complains. Is it worth anyone's time to decide or worry about who's more sick and has "better" reason to complain, whether it's about a sniffle, MS or whatever?

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              #36
              Yes; I am somewhat unsympathetic to people's little illnesses. And yes; it is because I do my best everyday to not let MS keep me down .

              It has to do with character or a lack there of.


              J
              Diagnosed with MS spring 2010; Still loving life

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                #37
                A wise woman once told me that I shouldn't compare my insides to someone else's outsides for I have no idea what their insides are like.

                It really isn't my business how other people act or even what other people think of me. I only have control over how I act and react. And for the people who annoy me I smile and nod or better yet avoid them.

                ∞~∞~Kindness~∞~∞
                M.
                A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
                Albert Einstein

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                  #38
                  Originally posted by knuckle View Post
                  Actually, being someone who has had MS about 25 years, now requires a wheelchair or scooter to get out and about, there is a fair amount of complaining here on MS World that is pretty lame.

                  One of the lessons this disease teaches you over the years is there is always someone here much worse off than you that would love to only have your symptoms.
                  Thank you for the slap on the back of my head.

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                    #39
                    Yes & No

                    Yes, I am more unsympathetic to whining.

                    But then I think "what if they are like me & have invisible sx of something?" As someone said earlier, if a person is blessed to never get sick then gets a bad head cold they may think they are dying. Who am I to judge, especially if I don't know the whole story?

                    I know that my MonSter sx are nothing compared to what many live with every day so that puts things in perspective when I start having a pity party.

                    All that being said if someone is just a whining hypochondriac I have little sympathy or patience!
                    DX 10/2008
                    Beta Babe 12/2008-07/2013
                    Tecfidera 07/2013-01/2018
                    Aubagio 01/18-09/20

                    Ocrevus 09/20-present

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                      #40
                      I am the world's (possibly) best listener to other people's general miseries. Health, boyfriends, girlfriends. Ah yes, mmm, yes, mmmm, oh dear, mmmmm.

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                        #41
                        I totally agree with you....

                        I have little family and smaller circle of friends since the ms. I am well aware that people don't want to hear my health woes and I am very cautious to complain to them. It is evident that I have balance issues and often a scowl on my face from the continual pain that I have. I don't like either of those and I have to concsiensly(sp) not be like that.

                        When I ask my only daughter left near me for help to put in my window a/c unit, she cancels out b/c she has a sinus headache or had a long day at work or just simply blows me off. that is just one example, i could go on and on.

                        Then I have some friends that know of the ms, and I regret that i told them b/c then i get the horror stories they have heard of and compare me to those.

                        I also want to slap all the people that tell me, but you look so good.

                        Clearly outsiders just do not understand and I really don't want to wish them to be insiders, I don't wish this on anyone.

                        Thanks for your post, it shows we need each other for understanding and support.

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                          #42
                          Amen, sister

                          Originally posted by KatieAgain View Post
                          Please note that this is just my opinion. And my opinion only.

                          I would never discuss an illness at work, no matter what it was. It's bad form.
                          My having MS does not make any of their aches, pains or illnesses any less. It was not their fault I got MS. They too are having what they perceive as problems and I am not there to help...then something has gone wrong with me. Empathy is something I hope to never lose. That would upset me more than having MS.

                          Just my 2 cents...I know it is a different opinion...hope it does not cause any problems.
                          My husband is the one with MS so my opinion certainly counts for nothing but KatieAgain you have the same attitude we do. How dare I judge anyone else pain level or tolerance. Pain is pain. God help me if I become so self centered I can't see others suffering, or don't even care to.

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                            #43
                            The original question was regarding "minor" illnesses and if we are less than sympathetic.

                            I don't believe I am self centered or lacking in true concern for "suffering" when I am irritated by a litany of complaints from people who should be grateful for their health. Nor do I begrudge them their healthy state.

                            I also would never point out to them how foolish they sound.

                            I do though, have every right to be irritated by foolishness and generally choose friends who are made of better stuff.

                            I call this discernment; not being self centered or callous. There is enough real sadness and death in the world that I don't choose to invent more or to be around people who do.
                            Diagnosed with MS spring 2010; Still loving life

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                              #44
                              Originally posted by justacowgirl View Post
                              The original question was regarding "minor" illnesses and if we are less than sympathetic.

                              I don't believe I am self centered or lacking in true concern for "suffering" when I am irritated by a litany of complaints from people who should be grateful for their health. Nor do I begrudge them their healthy state.

                              I also would never point out to them how foolish they sound.

                              I do though, have every right to be irritated by foolishness and generally choose friends who are made of better stuff.

                              I call this discernment; not being self centered or callous. There is enough real sadness and death in the world that I don't choose to invent more or to be around people who do.
                              Well said.
                              He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
                              Anonymous

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                                #45
                                Originally posted by justacowgirl View Post
                                The original question was regarding "minor" illnesses and if we are less than sympathetic.

                                I don't believe I am self centered or lacking in true concern for "suffering" when I am irritated by a litany of complaints from people who should be grateful for their health. Nor do I begrudge them their healthy state.

                                I also would never point out to them how foolish they sound.

                                I do though, have every right to be irritated by foolishness and generally choose friends who are made of better stuff.

                                I call this discernment; not being self centered or callous. There is enough real sadness and death in the world that I don't choose to invent more or to be around people who do.

                                Thank you! I figured this topic would go the way it did, luckily some really understood the question.
                                Suspected MS 1985. dx 1994 still RRMS EDSS 1.0

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