Hi, my name is Sarah and I'm from the US. I just got an MS diagnosis last week from my family doctor based on an MRI and am seeing my new neuro, family in tow, next week. At first, I was pretty ok with the diagnosis, even though it was reported to me rather rudely (all I got was "I'm right, you do have MS. A neuro will call you."). I thought that, hey, it could be MS, it could be something else, but I'm ok right now. I frankly only went to the family doctor in the first place because I was having trouble with a foot while running. I thought, hey, I can run, no big deal, worst case, I'll get some meds.
So today I finally got the results back from the MRI and I think it's really hit me. Seeing the descriptions of the lesions on my brain...it's so hard, even if I'm not having a lot of problems. I'm a professor - my brain is my livelihood. To know it's degrading, it's so hard. The file for the MRI was tagged "normal" too. The reading - not so much.
So, right now, I'm lucky. The issues affecting me are simply a bit of weakness that doesn't affect my day to day life. No pain, one spell of vertigo that was attributed to inner ear (I guess it could have been otherwise). I've had one "spell" over a year ago that involved a weak leg and that basically went away on its own. I should be happy, right? I frankly don't know how to feel, though. I go from happy to sobbing to happy to feeling like I've got to work out all the time to take advantage of my body. I was getting back into running because I wanted to lose weight before trying to get pregnant. Now, will I be able to accomplish that goal? Who knows?
A lot of emotions here, I guess you can tell. Going from "why me?" to "how do I break this to my family?" to a hundred different things. The only thing that keeps me going is the thought that I'm ok today, and the thought that, by the time I'm in my 50s (I am early 30s now), they'll surely have cured MS. Here's to hoping, and here's to keeping on keeping on, I guess.
So today I finally got the results back from the MRI and I think it's really hit me. Seeing the descriptions of the lesions on my brain...it's so hard, even if I'm not having a lot of problems. I'm a professor - my brain is my livelihood. To know it's degrading, it's so hard. The file for the MRI was tagged "normal" too. The reading - not so much.
So, right now, I'm lucky. The issues affecting me are simply a bit of weakness that doesn't affect my day to day life. No pain, one spell of vertigo that was attributed to inner ear (I guess it could have been otherwise). I've had one "spell" over a year ago that involved a weak leg and that basically went away on its own. I should be happy, right? I frankly don't know how to feel, though. I go from happy to sobbing to happy to feeling like I've got to work out all the time to take advantage of my body. I was getting back into running because I wanted to lose weight before trying to get pregnant. Now, will I be able to accomplish that goal? Who knows?
A lot of emotions here, I guess you can tell. Going from "why me?" to "how do I break this to my family?" to a hundred different things. The only thing that keeps me going is the thought that I'm ok today, and the thought that, by the time I'm in my 50s (I am early 30s now), they'll surely have cured MS. Here's to hoping, and here's to keeping on keeping on, I guess.
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