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Going back to work (again) Monday... Nervous...

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    Going back to work (again) Monday... Nervous...

    So silly me went back to work a couple of weeks ago because I thought I was "better" - the IV steroids had packed a punch and my body was almost back to normal. The 2nd day back at work, I had to leave - the parasthesia on the whole left of my body returned in full force. Coincidentally - two days later they found a brand new lesion on my brainstem - my neurologist said this could definitely account for the speedy return of my symptoms or that they maybe never fully went away. Aaaaanyhow, that is the short story... I have been on FMLA/STD for four weeks - my neuro and I discussed in detail and decided the 18th is a good day to return.

    Basically - my left leg is very weak - I feel like it could "collapse" at any moment", my left butt, thigh, toes, arm, hand, face, boob and ear are all numb. Because of this I am walking slowly - pointedly - it is very obvious - my balance is off. On top of that, I am still experiencing that bowled-over "MS Hug" - my left ribcage is in a constant state of someone sitting on it. Whooooah is me - lol - I am getting used to all of this sort of - my Point is:

    I am nervous - about returning to work - I am walking slower, I am walking funny, my neuro and I even talked about potentially getting a cane to help with balance. She explained to me that there is no telling how long this will last - or if it will ever go away, mostly the parasthesia. I am taking Trileptal for the "neuropathic pain" but she stated that this can take a long time to start working, weeks or even months...

    Everyone knows me at work - I just received a promotion to a Supervisor to boot - and these peers of mine - are instantly going to see that I am "different". I even look a little different - my face is...well...different - I think it is from all of the steroids - it is chunky - I have a double chin that wasnt there a month ago. I am different. My whole body is different. Everyone is going to notice. I don't know what to do except barrel through. What do I say when people ask? Because they will ask - I've been gone a month and I'm coming back gimpy. *sigh*

    Maybe this was more to get it out - but if you have experienced this and have any input or kind words - throw them my way!!!
    "There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.” ― Beverly Sills

    #2
    Stoshoo,

    Please don't worry about what others will think! You have MS and your still able to work. Whether you be with a cane, on crutches, or a wheelchair. Whatever will help you make it through the day.

    If anything, your peers will be more understanding and helpful. You may get questions at first, maybe surprised faces. That's understandable, don't feel bad about it. They know you were on sick leave.

    Just focus on staying well and not tiring yourself out!

    I got many a surprised face when from one day to the next I could no longer walk. People see me in a wheelchair and they look at me in obvious shock. It's a normal reaction. People care! Just explain briefly and get on with your day.

    I hope your return goes well for you. Don't tire yourself out, take breaks when you can. And smile! Lol

    Be the wonderful person that you are. Being you is good enough!

    HUGS, and good luck!
    When I can laugh at my experiences, I own them and they don't own me!

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      #3
      stoshooo, congratulations on your promotion, but sorry your MS 'episode' coincided so succinctly.

      Since you are already dealing with Short Term Disability, I thought it might be worth mentioning some of the policy limitations in typical Group Long Term Disability policies.

      The most problematic limitation for MSers is the 2yr 'look back' provision in a typical group LTD policy. To avoid denial of LTD benefits for pre-existing condition=MS, you should not file a LTD claim until you have met the 2yr look back period, or 2 years from the policy effective date.

      Your LTD policy look back period may be shorter or longer, but typically it's 2 years from the policy effective date. Read your policy. Once the look back period is met, you can be dx'd 2 days or 10 yrs and not risk having your claim for benefits denied for a pre-existing condition.

      Best of luck and take care.

      Comment

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