Thinking of telling my boss about MS any tips/thoughts?

[ThisBSMS]

The reason I want to do it is because it is becoming increasingly difficult to go to work everyday. I work full time in corporate environment - marketing. It is demanding, but I am managing it. What would help is if I at least had 1 day of working from home. Most of the days I am completely wiped out and some days if I stay late and work 10-12 hour crazy days, I pay for it the very next day/week with the return of my old symptoms. Currently I have a couple of relapses that won't go away fully for over 3-4 months because I just don't relax or sleep well.

Anyway, any tips? Who has done it? How? I never revealed to anyone in my past positions - I look perfectly normal to everyone around, but no one has a clue what I am dealing with inside or how I am feeling. I am very hesitant to reveal, but I've been calling in sick at least a couple of days each month. My boss and I have a decent working relationship and I like working with him.

Thanks so much!

[techie]

When I was home during my first attack and on medical leave

My boss called to see how I was doing. I knew NOTHING about MS then. I assumed I would be back to normal soon So I told him everything that was going on. Not very I would have waited if I had known more about it.
We had a great H. R. department. They strongly suggested I go on intermittent leave. So long as I got 30 hour a pay period in I kept my medical insurance.
So see if you can get on intermittent leave first. Then do what is best for you.
techie

[MSW1963]

I personally wouldn't disclose a medical diagnosis, MS in particular for a number of reasons;
[LIST][*]expensive, long term MS meds; expesive care; MRIs, etc., pose real risk of increase in group medical plan rating and cost;
[*]potential LTD claim
[*]inconvenience, cost of accomoditations in the workplace
[*]inconvenience of complying with federally protected employee rights in the workplace
[LIST]
Unless your company has a history of supporting and embracing employees with expensive, chronic illness, I personally would not disclose MS.

I would consider applying in advance for FMLA leave of absence. FMLA provides 12 weeks unpaid leave while your job is protected. FMLA can be used incrementally. Paid vacation and other paid time off can be applied while on FMLA leave.

Elibigility for many benefits dissappear in an instant when employment status changes to former employee. One exception is if the date of onset of a disability is prior to or coincides with a change in employment status.

[thelegendlc]

Accomodation - Work at Home

I was the accountant for a non-profit organization from 1996 to 2006. For the last four years that I was still able to work the executive director allowed me to work from home. The software program "Go to My PC" allowed me to have access to my computer at work via the Internet. I was able to use all the software programs on my work computer and print reports/checks, etc. from home or have them print at the office. This arrangement certainly wouldn't work for everyone; but, it would be worth investigating.

[Andy75]

Don't do it unless absolutely necessary

MSW1963 provided some great information.

My mentor advised me to keep it a secret, which I did successfully for several years. When I did disclose I lost my job and career in three months. Companies that are understanding do exist, but in my opinion not too many.

Best of luck

[ThisBSMS]

Thanks everyone - should I at least tell HR? r/o

and how do you apply for FMLA? I mean I don't want to take a month off work, but I certainly would like a more flex schedule, like 1 day of working from home.

I think my frequent sick days - like 2-3 per month on a regular basis as well as a really bad attack that knocked me out in Dec 2011 and had me out on temp disability for 5 weeks - might raise some suspicions. My boss was asking what happened when I came back from that nasty attack after 5 weeks of not working but of course I didn't want to disclose, and made up other stories which did not indicate a long term illness. I didn't want to say anything then, b/c I was only 5 months on the job.

So, what to do, I still don't know. I know if I disclose I cannot take it back but hoping that maybe it would be a bit easier to take time off. I don't know.

Also, would it be advisable to just tell HR, but not my immediate supervisor?

Thanks again.

[MSW1963]

I suggest you consult with your MS doc to make certain you have the doc's support and willingness to complete forms for FMLA.

Request FMLA forms from HR; the forms do not require you to disclose specifics about your diagnosis/illness.

That's not to say that HR won't draw conclusion about your illness, assuming the doc completing FMLA leave request forms submited to HR is a Neuro, maybe a MS specialist.

But HR will be on notice that terminating your employment can only leaglly happen if they meet FMLA & Department of Labor laws.

[Jules A]

I would also suggest finding out what is involved in applying for FMLA. It is very important, imo, to legally protect your job because like MSW1963 said we aren't exactly a winning proposal to most employers' bottom line.

[Trestle]

You can't unsay it.

What is said, cannot be unsaid.

As a society we have yet to reach a state of social awareness and justice that disclosure of a chronic illness to an employer will be greeted as anything other than a liability.

Human Resources is not your friend - they exist to protect the company from employees. After 30 years in the working world I can tell you that HR are THE biggest blabbermouths in any company.

I've heard some real horror stories. New employee, long term employee, public service, private sector, senior, junior - doesn't matter.

Never assume people won't behave badly.

[akafearless]

I just went and looked up the FMLA forms and they have really changed in the last few years. They really do not tell what's wrong etc.
few years ago I completed the paperwork for my ex husband on my daughter and they wanted to know EVERYTHING.
it's much better now.
Companies hate them. Not really sure why. Even though I was eligible because of my daughter, it was suggested by corporate that if at all possible to handle it without do so. My boss was awesome and understanding. This was still true when I was dx'd with MS.
Ya just never know.

[Special Kay]

Human Resources is not your friend - they exist to protect the company from employees. After 30 years in the working world I can tell you that HR are THE biggest blabbermouths in any company.

This has been true in all the places I've worked, no offense to any HR professionals out there that I don't know.

I'm working on negotiating a one-day-a-week-from-home situation but my MS is not disclosed at work and I am not using MS as a stated reason.

After a glowing end-of-year review, I took the opportunity to suggest that I could be even more effective and productive working from home (quiet, less distractions) one day a week. I also have (non-MS) family reasons to travel on a regular basis, so that "day at home" might be "out of town" as well.

My boss has approved it and we are working out the details.

I would say if you have the standing/seniority at your work to negotiate for a flexible schedule, then do so while you can. But don't bring MS into the picture if you can avoid it. The arrangement has to be good for the company and no extra hassle to them.

[ThisBSMS]

What are you using as a reason to negotiate 1 day from home?

I am thinking of ways to approach it without bringing my diagnosis into the picture.

[jackquelinecue]

good. very very informative

[dart12]

told my boss and I'm glad

Although I know that most people here disagree with telling your boss about ms, I told mine when I got suspect diagnosis in April which was then confirmed in October. He has been wonderful and I'm glad that I do not have to hide my diagnosis.

He was shocked initially but has adjusted well and been hugely supportive to me. I have been reassured that my job is safe for as long as I want it and that they will make any necessary adjustments including time off at short notice if needed.

The people I work with have been the most understanding and supportive people in my life since I was diagnosed and I cannot thank them enough for that. I give my job my all, and they recognise that.

In my job, it could be dangerous if I have a relapse at work so it is important that my support staff also know (2 other staff members). I am not sorry that I told them either, they make sure I don't posh myself too hard as I have always worked myself into the ground.

Obviously I can't say that other bosses will be as supportive, I was comfortable enough with my boss to share my diagnosis and I realise that I have been very lucky to work in such a supportive environment. Whether you tell your boss or not is ultimately your decision, I am not trying to influence your decision but wanted to add one positive feedback to this thread :-)