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    "Looks like you are feeling much better!"

    Really???? How can you tell?

    Maybe its the total of three hours of Ambien and narcotic induced sleep after three nights of electric shocks and horrible cramps..or maybe it is because it is
    8AM when you visited and the exhausting fatigue that hits so bad that it takes too much energy to speak has not started yet, or that I have a brief lucid moment today where I actually remember my words and make sense, or maybe the tons of medications I just took to get through the day that makes me feel like a drug addict has not kicked in for the day....or maybe I can actually see who I am talking today instead of a blurry mess ...maybe because I am seated and you do not have the pleasure of seeing my "drunk" walk and the effects of dizzyness.

    Don't assume I am feeling MUCH better because I am not. I am living with this thing called MS and it is unpredictable, and is like living in a nightmare at times that you never wake up from no matter how much you promise or bargain with God. Depression? yes. Pain? yes. Anger? Big time. I am obviously not at the "acceptance" stage in the grief process.
    Just please do not tell me I am feeling better and I am looking like I am back to looking like my "old self" because nothing could be farther from the truth as what you just said. Looks are deceiving.

    Sorry for the rant. It just a rough morning of feeling sorry for myself.

    #2
    Peace, Love and Understanding

    Completely understanding the 'nightmare' and being told 'you look fine' ... grrrrrrr

    Hope you're day gets a little more ... damn, that word was just right there I truly wish you peace and a better day.
    Peace, Love, Laughter
    michele - dx 2012, 1st sx 2000 - starting Copaxone 7/2012

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      #3
      Very well articulated. I HATE that!!
      Go ahead and rant, this is a good place for it.
      Compassion, forgiveness, these are the real ultimate sources of power for peace and success in life.
      Dalai Lama

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        #4
        Because he only sees me once a year, I guess he forgets, every single year when my tax guys sees my donations to the NMSS and RMMSC and he askes do you know someone with MS? and I say I have MS and EVERY SINGLE YEAR he says, "You don't look like you have MS." I just sit and stare at him and he goes on and it is over until the following year.

        People mean well......but really, what do you say to comments like that without sounding like you are trying to win the "who has had the worse day" award?

        Would it be better to be in a wheel chair and have a working brain? I think those in wheel chairs would say no. But sometimes I think.................(don't mean to offend anyone in a wheel chair.)

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          #5
          Rant away, kiddo! We've all been there!

          What kills me is when I'm feeling pretty good and thinking I look good, and inevitably someone will come up and say, "Gee, you don't look well" or "Gee, you look so tired"

          Goes to show, you can't win for losing....

          Sending you ((hugs)) and a bouquet of roses
          1st sx '89 Dx '99 w/RRMS - SP since 2010
          Administrator Message Boards/Moderator

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            #6
            I too get a frustrated with those comments.
            I don't understand my frustration though.
            About a month after my flare from last year and I was back to work, I was in my yearly work review when the supervisor asked me about it. My boss said "She is feeling much better!" I looked at her dumbfounded, and didn't have to even say anything. She said "I can tell, you LOOK so much better" For a while after that flare she would look at me when I would get to work and some days she would stop me and say "You aren't feeling well today are you?" I wanted to say..."I don't feel WELL any day!!" I was in the extreme anger stage at that time, but I kept my mouth shut.
            My neuro always tells me at our visits how much better I look now compared to how I looked the very first time he saw me. Well the very first time he saw me I was still fighting my flare and had just gone through every test known to man, fired my GP, seen 2 neuros, had just been told by one that I needed MASSIVE amounts of anti-anxiety meds and a psychiatrist. I had given up but was only in his office because my mother made me try "Just one more"

            I was just told the other night at work by a woman that I really needed to consider getting into another line of work because with my MS my memory was going to start to fail along with my body and I wouldn't be able to do what I am doing, and she also said soon. Really do I look THAT bad??

            Have been told by 2 supervisors to get back into school, while I can still do it, and get out of working in the factory as I wouldn't be able to do it much longer.

            These are always eye openers for me, and I know I need to do something because my job feels like it is killing me and I am miserable, but who are they to plan my life for me? Who are they to decide what I can and cannot do. I guess it brings out the stubborness in me and I just want to prove to them that I CAN still do it and do it well. Which makes me miserable the next day when I am not at work.

            So the you don't look well comments make me frustrated, but then the you look great or the you look like you are feeling better comments frustrate me also.

            I just want to say..."If you only knew"
            I would love to give these people a play by play of everything I feel every single day, but of course I don't.
            I NEVER have a "GOOD" day anymore.
            I am never without something that reminds me that I have MS. Yet they say I "look so good" I DON'T FEEL good though darn it!!

            I am hoping someday I can get to the point that I can just let the comments go in one ear and out the other and not even think about it.
            DX 10/26/11

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              #7
              I am stunned that people at your job (especially your one-up superiors) would recommend you get into school/another line of work when you DO NOT HAVE A PERFORMANCE PROBLEM.

              They are opening up a potential lawsuit with this.
              Dx: 2/3/12. 6-8 lesions right medulla/cervical spine. GLATIRAMER ACETATE 40 mg 1/19, medical marijuana 1/18. Modafinil 7/18, Women's multivitamin, Caltrate + D3, Iron, Vitamin C, Super B Complex, Probiotics, Magnesium, Biotin.

              Comment


                #8
                Nah, it's okay. I'm stuffed, and I know I'm stuffed, and I'll take whatever comes my way.

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                  #9
                  No Lisa I do not have a performance problem. I can say that I do do my job well, maybe not as well as I did 7 years ago, but still well.
                  I do not take this advice from them as an insult, they are supervisors that are only looking out for my best interest, they don't WANT to see me go.
                  As a matter of fact one of them keeps begging me to come to his shift, he wants me....lol

                  I know when they mention this to me it is because they care is all and are only saying it because they are my friends.

                  Now if the HR Manager were to say it to me, that would be another story....lol
                  DX 10/26/11

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                    #10
                    Originally posted by valeriem2220 View Post
                    I am hoping someday I can get to the point that I can just let the comments go in one ear and out the other and not even think about it.
                    valeriem, been there so please don't think I'm downplaying the gravity of this rant and how such comments offend or bewilder you, but one day you may get to the point where, not only do those comments go in one ear and out the other, but you can give a hearty and sincere "Thanks for the compliment!" to those who say you look like you're feeling better... because you just might!

                    Jen
                    RRMS 2005, Copaxone since 2007
                    "I hope to be the person my dog thinks I am."

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Thankfully someone is looking out for ya.

                      Glad to see you have so many people in your corner.
                      Dx: 2/3/12. 6-8 lesions right medulla/cervical spine. GLATIRAMER ACETATE 40 mg 1/19, medical marijuana 1/18. Modafinil 7/18, Women's multivitamin, Caltrate + D3, Iron, Vitamin C, Super B Complex, Probiotics, Magnesium, Biotin.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        I never know what to say when people say that they hope I'll be better soon. My husband will even say that I'm being negative when I doubt that I'll return to work. I can barely walk. I'm back on Gilenya after a short break due to insurance, and we were noticing some positive results, but the truth is that there is no cure. I don't want to be negative, but I need to be realistic too. I'll be glad if I can have enough energy to keep my house relatively clean.
                        Dx 12/2006; first symptoms about 1984, but maybe earlier--on Gilenya and Ampyra.

                        "God has a lot of explaining to do"--Frida Kahlo

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