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After 25 years

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    After 25 years

    of driving a truck, i am no longer safe. I have a hard time staying awake. Ive been protecting my job for the last 7 years by not mentioning the "F" word.(FATIGUE) My doctor hasn't pulled me from the truck but i don't trust myself. My fatigue comes and goes and knows no rhyme or reason. Scares the heck outta me when I'm 1,000 miles from home and can barely keep my eyes open. I have only driven truck and have no marketable skills.

    I feel guilty and weak, although I know it's an illness. We are struggling as my wife lost her job 9 months ago. She is working 3 part time jobs and like most people, never planned for this day. I don't know where to go, i wish i wasn't a citizen of the USA then i could get some help. What to do, 44 years old and don't know what i want to be, or what i can be. Oh forgot to mention that we have 4 kids at home 7 to 18 and a couple grandkids.

    We kept pushing for the American dream nice home pool in the backyard and now, well we all know what happens now. Very depressing in our home these days. Been too hot for me to get out in the sunshine so i sit around and waller in the mud.

    #2
    I am so sorry this is happening to you but glad that you are willing to recognize it and make changes before you become unsafe and harm yourself or someone else.

    No great advice just wanted to let you know that we understand how miserable and unfair this disease can be.
    He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
    Anonymous

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      #3
      I'm wondering if you should check with your doctor about treating the fatigue. When one has MS, the tendency is to blame every symptom on MS, but there are many other illnesses that cause fatigue and that can be treated.

      Also, there are medications to treat fatigue, even if the fatigue is MS related. I take Provigil and it is very helpful to me - the difference between working a full-time job or being totally disabled.

      What about switching to a different job as a truck driver? Perhaps instead of over-the-road, you could take a local or regional job. I'm thinking a delivery type job where you have short drives between different stops where you get out and deliver packages or unload goods. Much easier to stay alert for that compared to diving hundreds of a miles at a time on a boring stretch of interstate.

      When you say "my doctor hasn't pulled me from the truck," I'm thinking you mean the doctor that does your CDL exam, who might be your regular primary care doctor, or may be someone your employer pays just to do the CDL exam. You might want a different private doctor to do any medical evaluation for your fatigue - say a sleep study for sleep apnea, or whatever. Then your medical problems are between you and your treating physician, and need to be reported to the DMV/CDL folks only if they are relevant to your ability to drive truck.

      I'm sorry you have to go through all this, and I sure hope it works our for you and your family.

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        #4
        I believe the Provigil would be allowed, but none of the ADHD/Amphetamine ones would be. It might be a good choice to consult with an Attorney on a possible SSDI filing, since the fatigue may be making it impossible for you to continue to work/drive.
        Bill
        Scuba, true meaning of Life! USS Wilkes Barre 91, USS Monitor 96, 97, 99 .. Andrea Doria 96, 98 .. San Francisco Maru 09

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          #5
          Originally posted by Intruder View Post
          I have only driven truck and have no marketable skills.
          Just say "yet." You have no other marketable job skills YET. Because you haven't considered all the tasks you do as a truck driver that are transferable to another position. I'm guessing as a truck driver you are familiar with the protocols and practices that places you delivered to had to observe. Such as warehouse/receiving departments.

          We have a guy where I work whose sole job is keeping track of all the inventory that gets shipped to the facility and making sure it is logged in and bills are sent to accounting/clients. His job requires him to stay moving, but it isn't sitting in a driver's seat for long periods with either the hot sun beating down on him through a windshield and/or tedious scenery making him sleepy, or inclement weather making things like getting in and out of the cab or maneuvering a rig through rain or snow more difficult.

          You might have had to employ more sophisticated planning skills than you realize, to get through route blockages or scheduling/logistics delays. Dispatchers use these skills, and it's hard to crash a desk.

          When I was feeling depressed about the effect my relapses were having on my ability to multi-task, I was told about my state's Bureau of Vocational Rehabilitation. I believe most states have a BVR through partial federal funding. In this economy, budgets are tight, but as a displaced or soon to be displaced employee, you might qualify for some assessments from them. They accepted me based on a letter from my doctor who told them I was being treated for depression. My particular brand of MS didn't manifest itself visibly, but it was really making me anxious and upset at my limitations.

          I took aptitude testing and ended up applying for and receiving student loans to go back to school. It's been almost 3.5 years, and I graduated with straight A's with an associate's degree in drafting. I'm employed full time for an engineering firm that makes industrial machinery now and I love it. While I don't have the same issues you do, there are jobs out there you might be able to do with your abilities and experience and you should not discount yourself based on how you feel right now. Depression and anxiety make other symptoms feel that much worse.

          You should log back in your post and let us know what you're thinking now and then.

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