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    Disclose or not?

    I was diagnosed in 2007 & was told to never disclose my MS to an employer or potential employer. As I understand the reasoning it's a double-edged sword to me. On one hand you won't get hired if they know & on the other you have no excuse why you can't do the job when you have an exacerbation. Keeping it a big secret has been a negative for me & I don't know how to operate like this. It all seems so decietful & weaving webs that I get caught in. I don't know what to do anymore.

    #2
    I can relate to what you are saying. I've been with my company for over a year now, and I wonder about telling. There are others with medical issues that are given extra leniency but I have not disclosed. I work harder than most, and never call off but it is very difficult for me at times. If I could tell, they would give me extra flexibility, but would I be denied in future advancements? It's such a difficult thing for us to deal with.
    Take care, Wiz
    RRMS Restarted Copaxone 12/09

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      #3
      You don't have to say just what is wrong, just that you are having a bad balance week, or memory week. Most people have them at times, so people will probably just think it is like them. But, if you do need a major accommodation you will probably have to tell your boss, when this happens the Company and all Management will know. Once out of the bag, it will never go back.
      Bill
      Scuba, true meaning of Life! USS Wilkes Barre 91, USS Monitor 96, 97, 99 .. Andrea Doria 96, 98 .. San Francisco Maru 09

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        #4
        I think it depends on the size of the company also. At my job we had to take pre-employment physicals which included the requirement to disclose medical history which I did because I was signing up for their health benefits and didn't want that to come back and bite me in the butt later if it was discovered that I falsified those documents.

        The good thing about that is that my immediate supervisors and team have no right to know and don't know anything about my MS which I will never disclose unless at some point there comes the need for accomodations. It is my understanding that if I ever need to apply and use FMLA the reason does not have to be disclosed to them either.

        I hate this disease and the fact that we even need to stress out over stuff like this. Good luck to you!
        He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
        Anonymous

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          #5
          Originally posted by birdshutterbug View Post
          Keeping it a big secret has been a negative for me & I don't know how to operate like this. It all seems so deceitful & weaving webs that I get caught in. I don't know what to do anymore.
          Pardon me while I have a laugh at the concept of worrying that you are being deceitful. Unless you are stealing office supplies and clocking out early, you're not being deceitful by not disclosing information that is no one's business but your own. You don't need an excuse when you can't do the job. All they need to know is that "you're sick." And when you're not sick anymore, you can do the job. This is what sick days, FMLA, short term disability, and long term disability are for.

          Stay within the confines of the law and company policy, and you will have no need to feel guilty. You aren't doing anything wrong. When is the last time your employer came to you and said, "Gee, birdshutterbug, we're thinking about outsourcing your job because someone in Elbonia can do it cheaper....is that okay? Please like us for being honest with you."

          Of course that would never happen. They have no legal obligation to disclose information that could be detrimental to their bottom line to you, a mere employee. It could hurt your morale or cause you to become resentful and then, you might not work as hard for that carrot. Well, the law works both ways. You need to protect your bottom line too. I would not disclose until and only if I was unable to operate within the restrictions of companmyu policy. If they giove you eight sick days a year and you need nine...time to disclose. Otherwise, keep it to yourself.

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            #6
            Originally posted by ParadiseLost View Post
            Stay within the confines of the law and company policy, and you will have no need to feel guilty.
            I fully agree that there is absolutely no reason to feel guilty about what is going on with your own personal business.

            And if you have ever handled proprietary or confidential information then there are non-disclosure agreements that prohibit you from revealing stuff within a certain amount of time.

            In my last couple of interviews I am asked about what I did in my last job and I directly tell them that that information is classified; by the Department of Defense. So unless I want to start sharing a prison cell with someone who wants to call me Betty, I am not even allowed by federal law to reveal anything about what I did in my previous employment.

            And I strictly follow that guidance with my personal health/personal issues, etc. That is what this venue is for; sharing and expressing stuff about this awful disease.

            Save your guilt for something else.

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              #7
              I disclose. I work for small companies and there aren't large layers of Management. I've found that my bosses are more understanding of my "bad days" than before I told them. Before they just thought I was a whiner and got sick a lot. After they understood I had issues. But I understand that my situation isn't everyone's. In short, I still got my work done, sometimes with accomodations, and that was what mattered.
              Beki: "God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but he did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears and light for the way."

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                #8
                I haven't disclosed to my workplace but will probably do so later this year. I've done everything possible to hide the fact that I have MS. Mainly keeping my mouth shut about anything MS-related. I am grateful: with the healthy diet and lifestyle changes I've made since my diagnosis I am never sick and haven't had to miss a day. Looking at me you'd have no idea I have MS. This definitely makes it easier.

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                  #9
                  I was recently offered a position by a large hospital corporation. I had a pre-employment physical yesterday and did not disclose my MS. It wasn't listed on the list of conditions on history form and there was no space for other. The nurse practitioner did ask if I had anything not listed and I told her no.

                  I read all the fine print and it did say that the results of this physical could be shared with your employer and you must pass your physical/drug test or your employment offer could be rescinded. I performed all of the physical tasks (bending, stretching, lifting, walking) just fine.

                  Should I have disclosed or not? I have to go back to the nurse tomorrow to have the TB test read, so I could fess up to her then, but I don't want to lose this job.

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                    #10
                    To Disclose or Not to Disclose

                    I was with you 100% until you said, the nurse practitioner asked if you had anything not listed and you said, NO. You lied and that in and of itself could be grounds for termination of your employment if it ever comes to light. Even if you have had glowing performance reviews for years and this comes up (say you have to request ADA accommodations) then your employer has the legal right to fire you. If you decide to disclose your MS right now and the job offer is rescinded your employer is opening itself up to a lawsuit. Most large employers (but not all) and especially a hospital corporation are not likely to risk that.

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                      #11
                      Originally posted by cmspacca View Post
                      I was recently offered a position by a large hospital corporation. I had a pre-employment physical yesterday and did not disclose my MS. It wasn't listed on the list of conditions on history form and there was no space for other. The nurse practitioner did ask if I had anything not listed and I told her no.

                      I read all the fine print and it did say that the results of this physical could be shared with your employer and you must pass your physical/drug test or your employment offer could be rescinded. I performed all of the physical tasks (bending, stretching, lifting, walking) just fine.

                      Should I have disclosed or not? I have to go back to the nurse tomorrow to have the TB test read, so I could fess up to her then, but I don't want to lose this job.
                      The way I understand it is, they are not allowed to ask you to disclose health information unless it may affect your ability to do the job. Now they may not have it worded that way on their application, but the law as I understand it states that you are protected from invasive questions unless they are directly related to your ability to perform the necessary functions of the job. In other words, do not disclose UNTIL you require accommodations to perform your job. To be asked otherwise is a violation of the law.

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                        #12
                        I disclosed to my supervisor the other day but not yet my manager. I have so many appointments that I have to go to and have had bad days where my attitude wasnt the best so I felt it was time.

                        I have seen some people at my work who didnt disclose issues they were having and when their performance slipped they paid for it but had their manager known it may not have been as big of a deal.

                        I am worried about telling my dept manager though as he seems like the type to hold it against me.

                        I guess it depends on what you think the company will do and how you read the personalities of management.
                        ~Living and Learning~
                        ....Always check with your doctor, anything I post is based on my life experience

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                          #13
                          I'm so confused with this. I see both sides with telling your employer or not. However I feel that by using words like "secret" is making us ashamed of who we are. Don't misunderstand me, please. People do not understand MS and when they hear it, the first thing they think of is a wheel chair. I can not tell you how many people have said to me, you don't look sick, so I do understand and we don't want anyone's pitty, I got that too.

                          However just think about this thought for a moment. If we all keep it to ourselves, quit our jobs before we are fired, nothing will ever change for us. No one will ever understand what we go through and how hard we work to stay employed. I would love to have the world see how many of us that have MS and continue to successfully work. It would blow the employers minds to see how many there really are and they have no idea. Perhaps if they knew they wouldn' be so afraid to hire us, just a thought.

                          In any case we should not be ashamed, it's not our fault we have MS. By the way, I love working!

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                            #14
                            I disclosed immediately. For me personally; it's important to be open and honest for a few reasons. The first is that it is easier for a boss to understand time off requests and make accommodations if necessary. It also helps keep office gossip and politics to a minimum. It is inevitable in an office environment for employee "A" to get jealous or angry because she wasn't allowed to have Friday off but employee "B" was allowed. This way, everyone understands why.

                            Also (ahem) my err... boss one day picked me up from the doctors office and drove me to the ER (so I wouldn't have to go by ambulance) after passing out twice which is what started this whole process...(they thought I had a stroke) and he and another employee went and got my car and brought it to the hospital...so he has a vested interest...lol

                            It also worked to my benefit as my boss knew a couple of people he introduced me to who had MS in this area and so now I have some face to face contacts I can talk to as well. He has also taken the "fatherly" concern role and now calls me in after appointments to see how I am and what they found out, and offers advice when I ask for it.

                            My other boss has also reminded me that if I need to take FMLA not to worry about doing so.

                            I work in local/state Government planning and feel fortunate to have such great people to work for.
                            Kim
                            Hope for the best, prepare for the worst and that way you have all your bases covered.

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