Annette Funicello's "Final Days"

[Tawanda]

It's always been my choice to not hide MS, but it is everyone's individual right to handle their disclosure or non-disclosure in their own way.

I don't think that because she is famous, she has any kind of obligation to be a spokesperson for MS awareness. Not everyone wants to take the same route as Michael J. Fox or Teri Garr. And let's face it, not everyone is cut out for it,either.

The only favor she owes anyone is to be true to herself and live whatever way she wants. If she prefers to keep her progress quiet, then good for her. She should be able to live as quietly or as loudly as she wants without tabloid photographers taking photos of her to go with ridiculous "last days" stories.

When I originally posted last night, I knew I dropped a bomb! I figured that I would probably disagree with just about every response, but I do see the validity in what you're saying.

You could also add Montel Williams, Farrah Fawcett, Patrick Swayze, Michael Landon, Muhammad Ali, Dick Clark, Kirk/Michael Douglas and even Richard Pryor (and many more) as persons capable of putting themselves out there. You are right. Not everyone is cut out for it. Much of the public sees these disclosing persons as "sad" or "pathetic" and wish to look away. I remember having a "discussion" with my husband about why Dick Clark had every right to still be Rockin' on New Years Eve despite his dibilitating stroke! I was actually happy for the opportunity to "educate" DH.

I also think there is "new" Hollywood vs. "old" Hollywood, and that Annette may be the latter. What's hard for me is that Ms. Funicello was originally such a strong horse in the M.S. Advocacy race at the time of my diagnosis and like a little kid, I felt completely disappointed (and worried sick) when she suddenly disappeared.

[Tawanda]

I saw this when I was checking out of the grocery store today also. It has bothered me for a different reason. I think Annette deserves her privacy just like everyone else. She should be allowed to deal with her disease in the way that works best for her and her family. What a tragic thing for her family to have this headline and picture plastered all over the place. Who knows if that was even Annette.

Jade

Dear Jade,
It is always sickening the way some Paparazzi will do anything to get the "money shot", but I can't help but wonder if it took more precious energy and effort to hide herself from these vermin than to just live her life like the rest of us poor people do! It's not like having M.S. is a badge of shame or anything!

[gomer]

Another 5 decader here.....

I quit playing sports at 12 yrs old, humiliating trying to keep up with other kids my own age. I was removed from my home by the state at 13 and hospitalized in 1959. I spent a lot of time during at 13,14 & 15 and in foster care when not hospitalized.

I had to get a Dr. letter to even get considered for the Navy. The doc described me as having an ability to persevere and should be given a chance. I never, till this Jan, 50 years later, knew WHY I had these electric shocks.

Back about 1963 my social worker from the hosp visited me and asked me if I wanted to be exempt from the draft. I told him NO, I wanted to be treated as "normal". He said it would be a good for me as I would not have to worry about future medical care. I always thought it was a very odd statement, now I do understand. Few at 17 even thinks about health care, I sure didn't? I never asked him WHY and I was never told WHY.

I made it thru boot camp, my Co.Comander( Drill sgt to grunts) had me do watch duty instead of marching. That was a relief but I never got to march in revue at boot camp graduation either. I got to actually live one of my dreams as a kid, work in aero-space avionics.

Until last summer when a new eye doc told me my diplopia was neuro-muscular, probable MS, I never even knew what MS was. After I was Dx'd with diabetes, my neuro issues were dismissed as being from the diabetes and even when I complained something ELSE was wrong, I was ignored or even sent to the shrinks, who in turn said I was not nuts or depressed etc.

What would my life had been like had I knew? I do not know. When I could not do one thing, I simply found something ELSE that I could do. When I could not play baseball, I was up flying in a red 1929 J3 piper cub, When I could not play sprots in HS , so I would photograph football games from the side lines. I did what I could and be happy doing. When I had kids, I coached recreational soccer even tho I could not phsyicaly play, I had other parents help, some of them even went on to be soccer coaches.

I NEED to get that movie and watch it...............

Gomer

[Tawanda]

Michael J. Fox was born in 1961, making him about 49.
Annette Funicello is about 68.
Elvis would be a doddering old man by now.

Many of us don't announce our condition to coworkers, bosses and even family for various reasons.

That's exactly what bothers me. Many of us CAN'T divulge our condition because we'll lose our jobs (no, employers won't SAY we were fired for having M.S. but get around it with some other excuse, and how many of us have the financial resources to do battle against them?). Disclosure is actually a luxury IMHO and us regular guys can't do it. We need persons not living paycheck to paycheck to do our bidding. These brave souls are truly my heros. I hope one day that M.S. loses its stigma and that none of us have to hide in the closet anymore. The stress of holding such a big secret is more than a person with M.S. should have to bare.

[Tawanda]

My "child" self lives...

She went public with her diagnosis in the early 1990s. She released her book--A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes--in 1994, and the next year she appeared in a movie based on that book--and she was in a wheelchair then. In 1993, she opened the Annette Funicello Fund for Neurological Disorders. That's not hiding; that's not vanity.

I remember that movie very well. She also raised money by selling Teddy Bears through "Annette's Angels." Certainly, she has done more than most when it comes to raising awareness and money for this disease. I don't take that away from her. As I stated earlier, because I valued her contributions to M.S. so much, I got totally bummed out when she seemed to fall off the planet. Just like a kid who learns that there really isn't a Santa Claus and that your parents don't know "everything", I felt "gyped". Of course, this is childish, but my raw feelings are just that.

[Tawanda]

I have had MS for 50 years. When Annette & I were growing up there was NOTHING that could be done. My doc told my folks to just let me live as best I could & tell me nothing. If they had not done things that way, I would not have gotten married, had 3 children & be grandma to 7.

When your speech goes, others treat you differently. I am at that point now. In her movie, her voice was hard to understand then. For me being in a wheelchair is nothing but not being able to be understood, well that is my nightmare.

I hope Annette lives a long happy life.

KK

Thank you, KK, for your insight.

[Tawanda]

Who knows if that was even Annette.

Jade

I think it was.

[JadeVictoria]

Dear Jade,
It is always sickening the way some Paparazzi will do anything to get the "money shot", but I can't help but wonder if it took more precious energy and effort to hide herself from these vermin than to just live her life like the rest of us poor people do! It's not like having M.S. is a badge of shame or anything!

Dear Tawanda,
I never said or implied that MS was a badge of shame. How would you feel if your Moms final struggle was plastered all over a disgusting tabloid showing her private pain to the world? I will never forget watching Michael Landon on the Johnny Carson show when he was dying from cancer. The tabloids were posting how he had only a few days to live and he was so upset because his children were reading it. Where is the morality?

It's quite a jump to go from me expressing an opinion about how disgusting and intrusive tabloids are, to implying that I would ever think of MS as a "badge of shame." Annette is a human being who owes me nothing and I think she deserves her privacy. I do not think MS is a badge of shame.

Respectfully Jade

[sloth]

I wholeheartedly agree with the many posts to cut the woman a break!
Her entertaining us years back has nothing to do w/ being a poster child.

I personally would want my privacy. And her sxs from this darn disease seem so severe she isnt feeling well enough or maybe is with it enough to poster child for anything!

My heart always goes out to her when they show those stupid photos on those rag shows on tv in eve and in store in papers. What has our world come too that we are entertained by others suffering shame!

She is almost 70, tho' thats young many folks die at that age of multiple issues non related to ms.

Yeah cut the dear girl a break geez...one would think our fellow ms'rs would be more sensitive to others w/ same dx let alone other diseases.

And Im sorry but a poster child rep wont solve ms folks its the cold truth.

[cocogirl]

Tawanda, yes Michael J. Fox has been out there but I know many Parkinson's patients who cannot let anyone know of their condition at this time because they will lose their job and their benefits.

For all he has done, the situation is the same in this respect and my friends should not have to wear their condition out there for the public to watch every twitch. I shouldn't have to put my condition out there for the expectation of any other MSer or others. We all get to choose and should not be judged for our decision. We should be supported no matter how we choose.

[MrsBones]

That's exactly what bothers me. Many of us CAN'T divulge our condition because we'll lose our jobs (no, employers won't SAY we were fired for having M.S. but get around it with some other excuse, and how many of us have the financial resources to do battle against them?). Disclosure is actually a luxury IMHO and us regular guys can't do it. We need persons not living paycheck to paycheck to do our bidding. These brave souls are truly my heros. I hope one day that M.S. loses its stigma and that none of us have to hide in the closet anymore. The stress of holding such a big secret is more than a person with M.S. should have to bare.

I don't think there is a stigma attached to MS. Disclosing to employers is tricky business, to be sure, but look at it from their standpoint. You're an employee who has a condition that may cause you to be unreliable, costly not only in the fact that insurance costs may rise, but also in accommodations that they may be obligated by law to make, not to mention time lost by other employees kind enough to give you a hand.

All of that applies to actors as well. Teri Garr, Annette Funicello and David Lander have all mentioned not initially disclosing for that very reason, not because MS is a badge of shame!

My employers were some of the first to know. I know I was lucky with their attitude, they were more than happy to make accommodations.They were great! Not everyone is as lucky, but it's not because it's MS.

It's because disability can effect our ability to perform our job. If this wasn't the case ,SSDI would not exist. Let's be honest... MS can effect us in a million different ways and we have no way of knowing how it will. How can we expect an employer to not question our future as an employee at least in some degree? For that reason alone, I can understand fully any one's, famous or not, decision to keep quiet or become quiet.

I don't think anyone is in some closet of shame because of MS. It's a matter of privacy and common courtesy. We should all respect any one's decision to keep private medical information private if they wish.

If I want to stand on my roof and shout "MS" today and then never mention it again, that's my right. It's Annette's,too. She didn't give it away when she became successful.

[marybenes]

I can tell you all that Annette's son lives in Tulsa. Every year for the MS Walk here, he puts a team together and they walk in honor of his mother. So while she may not be out in the public eye, her son is doing what he can to raise money for those of us living with MS.

Mary

[DianeD]

I think Annette Funicello just wanted to have some privacy. She spent plenty of time in front of the public and probably just thought it was time to take a break from the cameras.

Don't know about you but I wouldn't want to be on camera all the time.

Someone said she was 68? I was thinking she was younger than me and I'm 65.

Then again, maybe not, my Mickey Mouse club days are long over :-)

Diane

Annette one of my childhood idols

I remember Annette so much from the dancing/singing kids show that was always on TV. Sorry I have memory problems and can't remember the right name for things anymore, oh!, "mickey mouse club". am I supposed to type in all caps?? sorry. anyway, poor Annette, who can know what happens to a mind MS has played with. I at one point could not remember my own name let alone advocate for any illness. My philosophy is, as was told to me by a famous neurologist who diagnosed my optical neuritis, "don't live in or for the diagnosis. don't cop to it". Poor Annette. we can all fight on and on and do all we can to stop this horrible progression. I live in dread........the ON attack just about finished me.

[rollingdiva]

Personally I don't blame her for wanting her privacy. A friend of mine is very good friends with a pretty big celebrity that has MS but has not made it known to the public. The person has a hard enough time accepted it and doesn't want the pity but is also concenrned it would ruin her career. I don't blame a celebrity for this. They have every right just like we do (although hard to miss those of us in wheelchairs full time!) of who to tell and when.