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    #31
    Originally posted by imissdriving View Post
    I am feeling the same way. I've been trying to be super career mom for a year and a half and it is killing me. I worked so hard to get my family and career where I wanted it to be. Now I can barely focus and balance long enough to make dinner and laundry. I'm 33 with a 2 and 5 year old. I should be doing so much more then I am able to do. I am going to apply for SSDI, but I feel like a failure. This is the first thing I can't "fix" no matter how I try.
    Hey there, just wanted to say I feel exactly the same way. I am only 29, and ALSO have a 2 and 5 yr old, Have worked VERY hard to be where I am at my job, and I am struggling too. Don't really have any words of wisdom, just wanted to let you know that there is someone not to far from your exact situation. ( I also live in MN...) Its like you just wrote what I feel EVERY single day. I know (guiltily) it makes me feel better knowing someone is in my same boat, hope it can comfort you also.

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      #32
      I work three days a week, and it's too much. Too much walking, too much standing, too many 11 hour days. Too many neurons failing to fire.
      Memory loss much worse than I thought.
      I am so utterly depressed. Once I quit, I will never have another job. WTF do you do?

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        #33
        Thank you Tracy.. that does help! I have been feeling useless too and I also think sometimes.. just try harder and harder.. and then I think how awful it is when I experience the problems.. ughhh it is sooo frustrating!

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          #34
          Well I fit right in with this one as well. I haven't worked since 2009. I was laid off from my job. It was a very laid back job and I enjoyed it. My boss was very understanding when I was sick or if I needed to go to the dr. because his wife also had MS. Well since I was laid off I have tried to work twice and it just didn't work out. One job I had to walk up and down stairs everyday and I have had two knee surgeries so that didn't go over well. The 2nd job was so freaking stressful that it threw me into a relapse. I literally cried everyday! So with all that being said, I decided to apply for disability in 2010. I still am in the process because it is a long drawn out deal but I just feel like it is something I had to do.
          Dx with RRMS :April 2007
          Meds: Copaxone

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            #35
            lost 2 jobs

            I have worked as an office manager for over 10 years, have a Bachelor's Degree in Business. I have lost two part time positions because of my cognitive memory and reasoning. I am unorganized, forget what I was doing, just copying is a task. Sign says put face side up to copy on back.....three times I put paper in face down....then other times I can set up programs to allow doctor to electronically sent medical claims but can't make a copy. I thought about SSD but I will go crazy sitting home....I have no particular hobby other than driving my british sports car...no money to do anything like travel etc. I have an appt to see about SSD but I am afraid I won't be able to deal with staying home doing nothing. This whole thing is depressing. I am afraid I will go into a deep depression if I stop working.

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              #36
              this thread just saved my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! can we chat more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg. help!

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                #37
                So glad that I'm not alone!!!! I'm a single mom to a 2 year old and S*** has hit the fan the last month. I'm about to lose my job because my employer can't keep finding coverage, so they want to give me a different job that can cater to my "disability" well I can't work that job because it's covering sick calls, and I need notice to arrange child care.

                I went from being a succesful single mom, working and doing school, to living off of welfare and not even being able to take care of my child. I've exhausted all of my leave time at work and they are cornering me into quitting by telling me I'll have to take this other job. I was in the hospital getting soluMedrol the first day of school, so this semester is a big no-go.

                I've now had to accept the fact that everybody else is supporting us while I do nothing except try to get better for who knows how long. What's REALLY frustrating is that when I have a good day, I feel like I should be back at work. But then when I have another day of double vision, fatigue, and right hand/arm weakness, I realize that there is NO WAY I could be working like this.

                I applied for SSD/SSI but I did it myself, so I'm just waiting for the big denial. I'm afraid to talk to my doctor about it because I've only seen him once and have only had a diagnosis for 2.5 weeks. I just don't know what else to do. We can't live off of welfare forever and I need guaranteed medical coverage. I can't believe my life has come down to this. I'm 28 years old for crying out loud!!!
                Diagnosed Aug. 2011 - Currently on Tysabri

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                  #38
                  Yep MS is evil

                  31 yo momma about to lose her job because she has exhausted all leave time. Just had to call in yesterday due to severe fatigue. It's an evil disease. Don't want to lose my job but realize that I am almost unable to function most days. Thank you to everyone who posted, this made me realize that there is hope after not working any longer. There is hope that a new job may come. Money is not everything, but it sure does help. I will save as much as possible until this job is gone.
                  Momma to 3 little ones

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                    #39
                    I almost started crying when I read this thread. It's so wonderful to know that I'm not the only one going through this, or who feels this way.
                    I'm only 34, but applied for permanent disability in January. Between my pain, fatigue, cog fog, difficulty in walking, or standing/sitting too long due to pain and balance issues, I can hardly get through grocery shopping, much less hold down a job. I've also been battling depression since my symptoms started about 4 1/2 years ago (due to feeling like I was going crazy when my original PCP couldn't figure out why I was having all the above issues). The depression only got worse (WAY worse) once I was diagnosed with MS about six months ago. I've started seeing a counselor, and am now on an antidepressant, which has taken the edge off of the depression, but it's still there.

                    I guess the whole point of this post is that at 34, I'm having a really hard time dealing with the fact that due to my MS, I now have physical limitations. I want to work. I want to be a contributing member of society. I don't want my wonderful, amazingly supportive husband to have to bear the burden of being the sole wage-earner. I hate that even though he's unhappy at his job, he's afraid to find another one because we need the health insurance his company provides (we'd never be able to swing COBRA on just one income, and no new policy would cover my MS, as it would be a preexisting condition). I also hate feeling like a failure for not being able to just suck it up, quit complaining, and work.

                    Wow, that was quite the vent. Yikes. I'm way more of a lurker than a poster, but this thread really hit home for me. Thanks for listening.

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                      #40
                      In short, yes. I worked about 15 hours of physical last week and still am paying for it. I've had four days with 12 hours of sleep and I'm still not over it. Things are looking more and more hopeless all the time in regard to returning to a regular workforce job. It's why I went into massage in the first place, and now that's becoming a challenge. I feel so stuck. If I have to file for SSDI anytime in the near future, I'm screwed. Big time.
                      I do not have MS. I have Whatchamacallit; and all of the symptoms are mirages.

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                        #41
                        Man I'm glad (and saddened) that I'm not alone in this boat.

                        I got a nice part-time seasonal job at a local department store and I found out quickly I was woefully unprepared for all the walking and kneeling required. There was a spot during the morning where a shelf collapsed so I knelt down to reassemble it and couldn't stand up! I almost had to call for help. So embarassing.

                        After that, I was in such pain and so tired I slept all through the next day (which was luckily a Saturday).

                        I'm only 37 and not in terrible shape, you know? (Could be in better though.) Thankfully I explained the situation to the management and they're more than happy to move me around to different positions to see where I fit...but this isn't a permanent job you know? Come January, I'm unemployed again.

                        I'm so disheartened about the future, if I can barely cut it at a retail job, what am I expected to do to support myself? Work-at-home jobs always seem "too good to be true" or involve some sort of cost on my part, which basically puts it right back in the "too good" category.

                        It seems so hard for people with our condition to be declared "disabled" as well so it's not like we can call on that to help us with employment...what's a guy to do?

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                          #42
                          I was told that because I haven't worked in the past 7 years that I can't get ssdi. Oh well they would probably say that I was too "well" to receive it anyway. ( I suppose that's a good thing though)
                          DX 2006
                          Never taken DMDs
                          Mommie to 15 mth old son Dorian Gray

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