Hi everyone!
Today I feel sad and overwhelmed with MS and just need a place to park my thoughts. Overall, I am very blessed with a good husband and beautiful and amazing daughters. I was DXD in 2009 following what now is very obvious sxs over the past 15 or so years.
The past two years have been difficult physically and emotionally for me. To see me, you would classify my MS as mild; however, my body always feels off, I have pain and burning and a general malaise. In March I seemed to turn the corner and life improved dramatically. Saturday, July 2 was great...I biked for awhile and even went for a walk at night. However, Monday hit me like a storm and I haven't felt well since. I am scared that I will never be normal again...I am tired of struggling through each day.
I am turning 50 shortly and it seems like it all went too fast. If I live til 80, how will I make it this way the next 30 years. My girls are still young and I wish I could be more active with them. My vision of our life and activities at this point is gone...(biking, hiking, etc.) and it makes me very, very sad. I know, I know, those activities are replaced with other activities and it is so hard to let go of the dreams. I have so many blessings, but on days I don't feel well, it seems like I only can see the negative. Intellectually, I know and understand one day at a time and I am trying hard to live that, but today it just seems impossible to emotionally be there. I know that it is just today that I am in a bad place and tomorrow will probably be better, but I just wanted to post to not feel so alone in this crazy disease called MS.
Thank you for listening and for all the many posts that lift me up and support me everyday. Blessings to you all!
Today I feel sad and overwhelmed with MS and just need a place to park my thoughts. Overall, I am very blessed with a good husband and beautiful and amazing daughters. I was DXD in 2009 following what now is very obvious sxs over the past 15 or so years.
The past two years have been difficult physically and emotionally for me. To see me, you would classify my MS as mild; however, my body always feels off, I have pain and burning and a general malaise. In March I seemed to turn the corner and life improved dramatically. Saturday, July 2 was great...I biked for awhile and even went for a walk at night. However, Monday hit me like a storm and I haven't felt well since. I am scared that I will never be normal again...I am tired of struggling through each day.
I am turning 50 shortly and it seems like it all went too fast. If I live til 80, how will I make it this way the next 30 years. My girls are still young and I wish I could be more active with them. My vision of our life and activities at this point is gone...(biking, hiking, etc.) and it makes me very, very sad. I know, I know, those activities are replaced with other activities and it is so hard to let go of the dreams. I have so many blessings, but on days I don't feel well, it seems like I only can see the negative. Intellectually, I know and understand one day at a time and I am trying hard to live that, but today it just seems impossible to emotionally be there. I know that it is just today that I am in a bad place and tomorrow will probably be better, but I just wanted to post to not feel so alone in this crazy disease called MS.
Thank you for listening and for all the many posts that lift me up and support me everyday. Blessings to you all!
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