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    Sad

    I have been diagnosed a little over 2 years ago. I have been hit hard and I'm in a wheelchair now and I'm so angry. I was independent before so not being able to work or drive makes me crazy. My husband has been great but I'm very hard on him and tell him the meanest things. I'm looking for a friend who may have the same issues.

    #2
    I would get in touch with a therapist, asap. I know what you are going through. You don't want to be ungrateful to your spouse. I know that all you want is a little piece of mind. Good luck

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      #3
      I'm sorry. I think you will find a lot of people here in similar situations.

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        #4
        hi and welcome baylee1! I am sorry that ms has hit you so hard so fast. I use a wheelchair if I do anything that will require a lot of walking. I know there are many people on here that can relate! Is there a ms support group near you? Being able to talk to others in the same situation might help you..........of course this place is great and you can always vent here!! I wish you the best!
        dx 2002 rebif 2002-2013 Tecfidera 2013

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          #5
          Not being able to work can drive anyone crazy. I got very depressed and went to see a psychiatrist, therapy and group therapy for seven years. Not sure it made me feel any better about not working, but the therapy was a job in itself.

          Something I did for myself and you might seriously consider doing this for yourself, as well.

          Hopefully, with proper medications you might be able to get out of that wheelchair, at some point...I hope.

          Thanks for putting the title sad in the title. I avoid sad things on days I don't feel so well. Luckily, I have had a few really good days.

          With M.S. 'sad' are the days we succomb to the limitations we have and not focusing on the abilities. I am 60 and just learning how to use a computer the past 5 years. I doubt I'll ever be able to remember everything in how to use it, some days, I can't even remember why I walked into the bathroom.

          In time, I've learned to laugh at my mental decline--the one thing I never thought would go South on me. Not to mention physical. I don't plan on 'giving' up, anytime soon though. And I exercise my brain by reading on the internet, if nothing else is working.

          Don't let M.S. rob you of the loves in your life. Find new passions and elevate the passions in your life.
          In time, you will understand this. In the meantime, a real pro is more helpful in steering your fears and sad feelings. Not so Real friends get tired of your illness, fast; regardless of which long term disease you have.

          Focus on your abilities and strengths---obviously, you have some or your husband would be gone!

          Stop taking your anger from disease out on your husband..he doesn't deserve you to have this disease either. No doubt, this is hard on him as well. Be kind and make an effort to not be mean to your husband.

          Some medications cause us to be mean, know that and focus on biting your tongue, instead of taking it out on him. For yourself and your happiness, get some real help and work through this.

          A friend to talk to and commisserate with is not always the best medicine. But, it does help with a willing person to chat with.

          What I have found, in life in general; Once we've faced life threatening change with health issues, we really do not handle the stress of any one else's life changing stress and events, as well and I personally avoid stressful people.

          MS is a mixed bag of nuts; one day I can handle others stress and communicate well with them; on other days..well, I do have one stressful friend, she called me last week and I simply told her: "I can't do this today." and hung up. fortunately, I had warned her, when I can't handle your issues--I will tell you.

          A healthy therapist/pshychiatrist can be much more beneficial. paticularly with the serious change in your ability to function IN the world, as opposed to being mostly homebound.

          There are chat rooms on this site and you just might find that much more helpful. Venting is most helpful and the ones having a 'stronger' energy day can handle it; on a bad day, I don't even read anything that is remotely sad.

          Writing helps tons. So, write what you are feeling in a thread and those that have overcome your issues, might be more able to give you, better suggestions and be supportive.

          We are all here to support you and each other. So, start writing and feel free to post it. If for no other reason, writing it out, helps you move through your issues. i know...one day, you will simply be 'finished' with writing and over the issue and move more toward 'acceptance.'
          fed

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            #6
            I am so sorry you are going through this and you are not alone. I can be super mean, short-tempered, overly critical, whatever. It sucks.

            I've been diagnosed for 11 years now so my husband's used to the new, crankier me. I agree with others that therapy might help you out since it's all come at you and your husband so quickly.

            Good luck!
            Aitch - Writer, historian, wondermom. First symptoms in my teens, DX'd in my twenties, disabled in my thirties. Still the luckiest girl in the world.

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              #7
              {{{ HUGS }}}


              First of all, Baylee1, I am very sorry for all you are going through. Yes, often this just plain stinks! But you are reaching out to us. What is your hope by opening up to us, Baylee1?

              Do you know the stages of grief? Shock, denial, depression/anger, bargaining and finally acceptance.
              And we don't go through these stages easily from one to another. Often we get stuck!

              So like the others, it may be a good idea to see a therapist. And to let your doctor know you are feeling this way. You could be going through a chemical depression or just stuck on mad/sad.

              Like the others, taking this out on your husband (very honest btw) is really not the way to go, is it? He probably already feels badly and helpless. Talk to him, apologize. Let him know how much you still need him, and teach him what you can still do for yourself.

              You may be headed toward a new calling.. you may be growing spiritually and can offer others who are struggling hope and compassion.

              Baylee1, how can you find ways to be partners in this journey rather than making him your target? Many folks' with chronic illness have partners that leave them. Be grateful the best as you can.

              I lost my career due to my medical illnesses. I also lost my husband, unexpectedly to a premature death. I have learned to be more grateful. I have lost my finances. But I work on keeping a wonderful attitude of faith and appreciation for all that I still have!!!

              I do get in funky moods, I get scared at times, but it doesn't last.. I won't allow that. I count my blessings: I don't have cancer or a terminal disease, I am not in a nursing home, I can still drive, (have no where much to go, but I can still get out), I didn't lose my home to a disaster, or lose a child. I can still love, offer compassion and LIVE for today! And I have great doctors who want to help me.

              I know, I know, easier said than done. Just know that you don't have to feel this way. Feel better..choose not to be so mad and sad. Get help if you are not feeling better.

              Let us know how you are doing and thanks again for your brutal honesty.

              Warmly, Jan
              I believe in miracles~!
              2004 Benign MS 2008 NOT MS
              Finally DX: RR MS 02.24.10

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                #8
                THANKS

                THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR ENCOURAGING WORDS

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                  #9
                  I'm sorry. Definitely seek out a therapist or social worker to help you cope.

                  If you want to read up on your own, two excellent books that my neuro rehab social worker uses is "Thoughts and Feelings" by Matthew McKay and also "Mind Over Mood" by Dennis Greenberger and Christine A. Padesky.

                  I am still working on things but the first book has really done wonders for me.

                  Hang in there.

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