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making poor decisions... MS?

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    making poor decisions... MS?

    OK, yesterday I went over to Seattle (about 60 miles each way) from the Olympic Peninsula to have my MRI done and a followup from my neuro. Good news was that my MRI has been stable; equivocal news was that I have some sort of enhancing spot on one of my parotid glands that needs to be evaluated by an ENT. So that was on my mind as I was driving back home and thinking about the next round of testing that might have to be done...

    So, driving back over to the Peninsula from the ferry(secondary country roads) there was this hot dogger guy on a motorcycle behind me, following too closely and weaving back and forth (acting like a jerk) to try to find an advantage in the packed traffic driving on this highway.

    It was pretty stop and go and he'd back off for awhile and then come pretty close... well as you might guess, I had to stop quickly and he was too close -- his tire bounced off my bumper and tire guard (lucky I have a Subaru) -- not too hard, he didn't even lose his balance on the bike too much. I got out, asked him if he was okay and looked at my car. Didn't see anything in the way of damage at that point so I told him he'd better get his head out of his *** and leave more distance for stopping.

    So my big mistake was in not getting his information. We just kept going on our way... and when I got home I found that the tail light (red cover) was cracked and I hadn't seen it. My husband asked what happened and I allowed him to think that my car had been hit in the parking lot in Seattle. I know, I know... stupid thing to have done.

    I just didn't want him to see how stupidly I had behaved by not getting the guy's information. He wants me to call our insurance about getting it fixed... So I'm in a fix about how to tell him that I was less than truthful about this. He's not always the most empathetic person and even if I tell him that I just felt like that extra stress was too much for me at the time for a minor thing, I don't know how he'll take it.

    And... can MS cause someone to make poor choices and decisions (not trying to blame MS, but sometimes my cognition seems a bit cloudy) ,,, OR was this just me being stupid?

    Anyway, just wanted to put this out there in case anyone has any suggestions or comments.

    #2
    I would worry less about the tail light issue and more about why I was hesitant to be truthful with my husband...

    Lots of people blow off small auto accidents and then later find damage. Human nature. You would have to pay the deductible regardless.. Don't know how much a taillight assembly is but I have put several in myself.

    As far as ms? Are you having other cognition issues?
    Could the anxiety of your husbands possible reaction have more to do with your decisions?

    J
    Diagnosed with MS spring 2010; Still loving life

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      #3
      I agree it is not unusual for anyone MS or not to miss something in the heat of the moment. The good news is no one was hurt and I don't think tail-light covers are all that expensive. It would likely be easier and cheaper to just buy one and replace it rather than going through insurance anyway. Maybe $125?
      He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
      Anonymous

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        #4
        He tailgated and hit you, and you're thinking you're the one with bad judgement?!

        No worries. It was a minor accident with very minor damage.

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          #5
          I would not change the story with your husband. What difference is it going to make? Less stress for you.

          You seem to be blaming yourself...I would be asking myself why I could not tell my husband the truth in the first place. There is a reason...and I don't think it is you.

          It was an accident...stuff happens. The guy is lucky not to have been hurt.

          If the tail light is just cracked, it will probably cost less than your deductible. Think twice before you call your insurance.
          Katie
          "Yep, I have MS, and it does have Me!"
          "My MS is a Journey for One."
          Dx: 1999 DMDS: Avonex, Copaxone, Rebif, currently on Tysabri

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            #6
            Your thought process might have had as much or more to do with having had a long day, being in heavy traffic and the shock of being in an accident than having MS. I've been rear ended and side swiped a couple of times and each one left me a bit shaken and slow witted.

            I'm glad you weren't hurt. Like everyone else has said it was a minor accident and part of the stuff of life.

            I agree that it will probably be less than the cost of your insurance deductible to just replace the broken part yourself. And because of that I agree that there probably isn't any reason to change your story to your husband.

            But I'm also more concerned about why you felt you had to lie to him in the first place. If you feel you are trapped in a bad relationship because you have no other means of support and you are at peace with that then I guess it is what it is. But otherwise this could be a reason to start working on a better relationship with your husband or finding another way to change your life for the better.

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              #7
              I am laughing....I am close with my husband, been married 32 years. I went kayaking and dropped my cell phone into the surf as I was getting into my kayak. I didn't realize it for about an hour, paddled back, and found it laying in the surf, drenched, and destroyed.
              Why did I tell my husband a wave washed over me while I had my phone out instead of telling the truth? I felt bad, but I just left it at that.
              So yeah, its the MS. Definitely the MS. Not my fault, no way---its the MS. LOL....

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                #8
                Originally posted by lemstar View Post
                I am laughing....I am close with my husband, been married 32 years. I went kayaking and dropped my cell phone into the surf as I was getting into my kayak. I didn't realize it for about an hour, paddled back, and found it laying in the surf, drenched, and destroyed.
                Why did I tell my husband a wave washed over me while I had my phone out instead of telling the truth? I felt bad, but I just left it at that.
                So yeah, its the MS. Definitely the MS. Not my fault, no way---its the MS. LOL....
                Lol, good point. I'm in no way afraid of my husband. I make my own money so that isn't an issue either but I might just consider fibbing about something silly or embarrassing I did also.
                He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
                Anonymous

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                  #9
                  thanks for all the responses

                  You all are awesome! I decided to not go back into the whole situation, as it has dropped off of my husband's radar. I've called my regular mechanic and he's checking on prices for replacement tail light covers.

                  My husband and I have a pretty good relationship (24 years), but he is a very opinionated person and I often find myself trying to justify myself to him and often choose to keep quiet even if I don't agree with him just to keep the peace.

                  I think that the long drive was part of the problem (it was the second trip back and forth to Seattle in 4 days) as well as worrying about my mom who has just been placed in an assisted living place in Denver (against her wishes, though she has had a recent hip fracture). And then to top it off, a new possible medical issue with this parotid gland hyperintensity on my MRI.

                  I think that I do have some cognitive issues when there is too much going on, I get fairly scrambled (and I just couldn't think what was the best thing to do at that point). So I guess having to figure out how to deal with a big argument over WHY I lied to my husband made me decide that it was not worth the added stress.

                  Again, thanks for all your responses. I particularly liked the one about the cell phone in the water... made me smile.

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                    #10
                    got the estimate for the tail light: $262 + about 40 labor.

                    My husband asked last nite what I had found out and I told him i have an appointment next week after the part arrives. He didn't ask anything else and I didn't offer..

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