Falling apart...

[suebear]

As of a few days ago, my uncle passed from MS and I have been feeling an emotional impact from his death unable to understand or feel anything as I have so much love for this man. Someone who I know so well I saw slowly drift away and could not understand his illness as I did not understand what MS actually does to a person; I still don't.

I have found it to be quite difficult to talk about my uncle as it hurts yet certain family members are telling me his passing was expected. It is disturbing as I feel my feelings are not being respected and I still want to understand the illness that took this man away from me too soon.

I have looked through the section for family postings yet I did not see a section for family members (sons, daughters, nieces, etc) who can post regarding their family member so I can only hope this board will be able to help me understand more about MS so I can move forward with the loss of my uncle.

[22cyclist]

Hi suebear: First of all I am so sorry you lost your uncle. I know it is hard when it seems like there is no one to talk to about it. On the main board there is a section called the family room. There, family members post all sorts of things. You might want to try there too. Here is fine as well.

People do die from complications from MS. It is hard to say what ultimately caused your uncle to die without knowing more information, but usually what gets us is pneumonia either from aspiration or from the inability to move and the secretions just collect in our lungs and we can't get them out.

Some MSers die from infections in other places.

Was your uncle bed ridden? Could he move around on his own?

Sometimes a lesion in a certain area of the brain will cause sudden death, but that does not sound like the case here since your family expected it.

Again I am very sorry about your loss, and I know you are hurting.

Take care.
Lisa

[suebear]

Hi suebear: First of all I am so sorry you lost your uncle. I know it is hard when it seems like there is no one to talk to about it. On the main board there is a section called the family room. There, family members post all sorts of things. You might want to try there too. Here is fine as well.

Was your uncle bed ridden? Could he move around on his own?

Thanks Lisa...

To answer some of your questions, my uncle was doing fine until the summer from what my cousin had stated then he began to go downhill physically in health. His health began to decline and he was more and more the need of going back and forth to the hospital. It had eventually gotten to the point where the hospital could no longer manage his care and a visiting home nurse was not enough; it was best for him to be placed in hospice care from home. That is what I was told.

My uncle did reach a point where he was still able to move but his ability did become difficult over time. This man was a football player through high school and college so it was a shock when hearing how quickly the trouble came of not having the ability to walk or move his legs as normal. There also was difficulty with movement as he needed help to do certain things after a period of time.

His immune system did change from my understanding as it decreased even though the doctors were doing everything possible to keep it strong. It is my understanding the immune system not being strong on top of not having the ability to withstand changes are a mixture of his passing. I am sure there is more to it but I was given a brief over view from the family before obtaining doctor's report.

[22cyclist]

Hopefully when you get the doctors report you will be able to sort it all out and it can give you some peace of mind.

I am sorry this is so hard for you.

Lisa

[Fed Up]

Suebear,

Is this your first loss of a family member?
Regardless, of what he passed of, it is most difficult and you sound like you are hurting, beyond belief.

You will never get use to losing loved ones; however, you will learn, time helps heal. As, dying, unfortunately, is part, of living.

Seek the knowledge you desire. Don't underestimate the power of seeking a little counseling--if you are inclined to do so.

And post your feelings..looks like a warm receptive group here. fdu

[Cat Mom]

I'm so very sorry for your loss Suebear, your uncle must have been a dear man and you were blessed to have him in your life.

Don't feel badly for not understanding what MS is, I'd guess most of us who have it don't understand either (other than the "official" medical description). It sounds like your uncle passed quickly so there's probably a few factors that contributed. If he was on high doses of steroids, they kind of "shut down" our immune systems so immune cells stop attacking our CNS.

I hope you find comfort during your loss and that the doc's report gives you some answers so you can try to move forward again. As time goes on, the good memories of your dear uncle will overshadow the reason that he passed, you won't miss him any less but your heart will heal from the raw pain you are going through right now. Please keep us posted on how you're doing.
Jen