I had a really bad day today, that’s nothing new
I didn’t get much done, but it was all I could do.
My eyes won’t see straight, my legs are both numb.
I tried to fold up the TV tray. I think I broke my thumb.

There’s ice on the floor because I missed the icebag.
I need to ice this thumb, but it’s just too much of a drag.
I don’t need it. It’s fine. I’ll push pain away.
OUCH, it really does hurt, but it’ll be OK.

What a baby I am. But I’m really trying!
How can I complain? It’s not like I’m dying.
Ok, whatever it takes… I need a little more focus.
Meditation or prayer, I’ll even try hocus pocus.

I can’t send My Shadow away, but I can keep it boxed in
MS started this battle, but I’ll always win.
So, back to my day that seemed to be such a strain.
I’m battered and bruised, but my pride will remain.

Someone is calling, now where did I leave the phone?
The more people try to reach me, the more I feel alone.
No one understands this. They don’t need to try.
This is my personal fight, and I won’t try to explain why.

Now what was I doing? My head is spinning.
This race with My Shadow, I’ll never admit that it’s winning.
My muscles are aching and my head is on fire.
No one will know, thank God I’m a good liar.

I’ll need to face them in an hour, now where is my smile?
I will pull it out soon, just let me lay down for a while.
Well, there’s the doorbell, I guess I can’t nap for long.
If I don’t answer the door they’ll think something’s wrong.

I stumble in the kitchen and bump my head on the door.
Deep down I’m not sure if I can take much more.
How do I do this?  How do I cope?
Everything will clear up someday… I can’t lose hope…

What is this doubt?  That’s not how I roll!
I have to strengthen this wall, fasten this mask that I stole.
You’ll never see grief, weakness or doubt.
You will never have to experience what I’m truly about.

I never give in. I don’t cry. I am strong.
You see me stand tall. I’m a warrior. Nothing is wrong.
My enemy, My Shadow, arrived and is trying to move in.
I’ll never let you see how devastating this visitor has been.

No, don’t you worry, you won’t see me crack.
If I seem far away, know that I’ll always be back.
Now what was I thinking? Oh yes, smile –happy face.
Touch up the makeup. Always move with grace.

You’re here. (I can do this!) I’m so glad to see you!
I hope you had a good day! Tell me, what’s new?
I see that you’re tired.  Your day wasn’t the best.
From that look on your face I could have guessed.

It’s OK, I’m here. I will listen and try to make you feel good.
When you tell me your problems, I hope you feel understood.
Sit down, put your feet up, you can always talk to me.
Yes, life is not fair. This is a tough time for you. I agree.

But if you ask how I am, I have my answer all planned.
If I told you the truth, there’s no way you’d understand.
With a big smile and a wink all you’ll ever hear me say,
“Everything’s good.  I had a really GREAT day today!”

©2009

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