As result of reading the PDF of the article entitled "Relationships: Things You Might Want to Avoid Saying to Someone with MS" in the Winter 2009-2010 issue of Momentum, I blew the dust off the following list that I got when I was a member of the Disability Awareness Advisory Group at the NASA Glenn Research Center. Although this list is not specific to MS, many of these suggestions apply.

1) Do make the same kind of “physical contact” with disabled people as you would with anyone else in a particular situation. For example, shake hands, don’t squeeze or pat their shoulder; If they offer to shake hands with their left hand or in an otherwise unconventional manner, that’s OK.

2) Don’t be embarrassed about using common expressions which may relate to someone’s impairment, e.g. ”see you later”, or “it’s within walking distance”.

3) Talk to the disabled person - and not to their assistant. Try to get at a wheelchair user's eye level when talking to them.

4) Do somehow acknowledge that you heard a statement or question if you cannot respond immediately. If you don't understand, don't pretend you do; ask people to repeat it if necessary, and tell them what you have understood.

5) Don’t make assumptions about the needs of disabled people, ask – they are the experts about their own needs. Do offer assistance to a disabled person, but wait until your offer is accepted before you help - and don't be offended by a refusal.

6) Don’t assume that because you may be able to do something quicker than a disabled person, they would like you to do it for them.

7) Don’t assume you know the best way of helping someone; listen to what they are asking you to do.

8) Don’t lean on someone’s wheelchair. The chair is part of the body space of the person using it.

9) Be patient with people with a speech or hearing impairment; don't correct them, don't finish their sentences, and don’t refer to previous remarks that you think they should have heard.

10) Speak slowly and clearly; try and provide emphasis with gestures and facial expressions. Talk face-to-face, don’t cover your mouth, don’t talk from another room, and don't walk away while talking.

11) Remember that a hearing or visually challenged person may not have heard remarks or may miss out on gestures or facial expressions and so appear to respond inappropriately - it may seem that they do not get a joke, for example, when in fact it is not properly communicated to them.


 

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